ChampionRabbit - Day 2
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: DEADWOOD
Posts: 39
Congratulations on week two...its amazing as the name of this thread is "Day 2" that we have made it this far. It a wonderfuly amazing yet horrible thing sobriety. Wonderful in that your life improves the moment you start and continues to improve until you die. Horrible in that 99% of the population has no idea how hard it is. I too have reached a pretty good state of being. I woke up feeling great Friday, and by noon I was getting the shakes. I was home alone and could not reach my wife on the cell phone, so I just got up and left the house. I went for a two hour drive in the country...just to get away from any place I might be able to buy liquor.
Eventually the feeling passed and I was o.k. It is so wierd how fast one's mood and needs can swing in this thing. Anyway, the rest of the weekend has been great. I am playing in a poker tournement today, so I'm pretty excited about that.
My wife and I went to a "birthing" class yesterday. If anything ever wanted me to go get a drink that was it!!!!!!!!!!!!!1. Eight hours of watching DVD's of mothers in labor. Wicked, man!
We had no idea what we were getting ourselves into when we signed up.
Enjoy your Sunday.
Jon
Eventually the feeling passed and I was o.k. It is so wierd how fast one's mood and needs can swing in this thing. Anyway, the rest of the weekend has been great. I am playing in a poker tournement today, so I'm pretty excited about that.
My wife and I went to a "birthing" class yesterday. If anything ever wanted me to go get a drink that was it!!!!!!!!!!!!!1. Eight hours of watching DVD's of mothers in labor. Wicked, man!
We had no idea what we were getting ourselves into when we signed up.
Enjoy your Sunday.
Jon
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 1,432
Originally Posted by Cathy31
Can anyone relate to, after having a really BRILLIANT day - work wise or on a personal level - REALLY wanting to drink!? I always assumed it would be the other way around - feeling down, have a drink. But, my biggest challenges are when I've had an amazing day, done something awesome, I just would love to drink on it!?
Anyone relate to that? Seems a bit wrong way around? If I'm down I rarely feel like drinking.
Anyone relate to that? Seems a bit wrong way around? If I'm down I rarely feel like drinking.
Planning for the celebratory moods was just as important to my sobriety as planning for the 'need a pick up' moods.
This is one of my favorite threads these days, as a reality check and as a source of inspiration. Thanks, folks, for being so open here. You have no idea how many people you are helping with this!
Don S
Member
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: London
Posts: 109
Originally Posted by Cathy31
Anyone relate to that? Seems a bit wrong way around? If I'm down I rarely feel like drinking.
All are good drinking days as far as I'm concerned...or bad drinking days depending on one's perspective...
Adam
Member
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: London
Posts: 109
Originally Posted by Beacon
My wife and I went to a "birthing" class yesterday. If anything ever wanted me to go get a drink that was it!!!!!!!!!!!!!1.
If I can think of one thing that's worse than being a practicing (practice? who needs pratice?) alkie, it's going to pre-natal classes.
The mere memory of them is inspiring a profound sense of fear in me. You poor, poor man!!
Rest assured, not only are they mostly a complete waste of time, but also they are far worse (assuming that the birth goes ok) than the actual birth.
For the husband/male partner obviously. I'm sure that for the woman they are a cakewalk compared to what lies in store.
Christ, I'm so, so glad that we have the whole birth-thing out of the way now; if you're as unlucky birth-wise as my wife was (twice) then it'll take weeks to recover from the trauma!!
Yeesh...birth!
Adam
Member
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: London
Posts: 109
Good God, I feel like crap at the moment. I actually bought some booze on the way home yesterday, and then had a full-on panic attack and put it in a litter bin. I'm a bit scared about this kind've thing; it's not the behaviour of a sane person.
A sane person would either buy booze and drink it, or not buy is and not drink it. Why did I buy booze and then experience such terror that I had to find a bin to hide it in?
Woke up today feeling like death. Panic attack on the train to work. Panic attack on the street while walking from the train. Panic attack just now in the toilets.
<- thats me.
Adam
A sane person would either buy booze and drink it, or not buy is and not drink it. Why did I buy booze and then experience such terror that I had to find a bin to hide it in?
Woke up today feeling like death. Panic attack on the train to work. Panic attack on the street while walking from the train. Panic attack just now in the toilets.
<- thats me.Adam
Member
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Japan
Posts: 40
Panic Attacks -
Those REALLY suck - I experienced those BEFORE I became addicted to alcohol.
Here's what I do - and I really don't know if it's the same when going through detox, though I do know that my anxiety level has been higher lately since I've been cutting out my synthetic brain number...
When the attack comes. SIT DOWN. Anywhere. Put your head between your knees and close your eyes. Then TRY a kind of "zen" thing - let the panic come, but don't focus on it. I have found that it is impossible to make it "go away" - it's like a roller-coaster - once you get on, you have no choice but to ride it to the end. But the thought process I go through always helps - remember that it WILL PASS. The first time I had one I thought I had gone insane (mine was philosophy induced, if you can believe that).
For me they usually last about 3 or 4 minutes. And, after I get through the "panic" part, I have another 30 minutes to an hour of anxiety - that feeling that something in the universe just doesn't add up to 42 (there you go, Mr. Dent).
I'm not sure how bad your attacks are, but I've been in restaurants where I'm in mid-bite and I get hit by one and have to just get up, pay the bill, and leave - change the scenery.
In the after - a hot bath usually helps me. If you happen to be at home, that is. Or some Enya or music of that type.
Don't know if this helps, but it sounds like you're struggling with this sort of thing right now. I totally understand how frightening anxiety/panic attacks can be.
One last time - THEY DO PASS. Remember that when they hit. And good on you for chugging the booze in the bin!
Best of luck,
- tank
Those REALLY suck - I experienced those BEFORE I became addicted to alcohol.
Here's what I do - and I really don't know if it's the same when going through detox, though I do know that my anxiety level has been higher lately since I've been cutting out my synthetic brain number...
When the attack comes. SIT DOWN. Anywhere. Put your head between your knees and close your eyes. Then TRY a kind of "zen" thing - let the panic come, but don't focus on it. I have found that it is impossible to make it "go away" - it's like a roller-coaster - once you get on, you have no choice but to ride it to the end. But the thought process I go through always helps - remember that it WILL PASS. The first time I had one I thought I had gone insane (mine was philosophy induced, if you can believe that).
For me they usually last about 3 or 4 minutes. And, after I get through the "panic" part, I have another 30 minutes to an hour of anxiety - that feeling that something in the universe just doesn't add up to 42 (there you go, Mr. Dent).
I'm not sure how bad your attacks are, but I've been in restaurants where I'm in mid-bite and I get hit by one and have to just get up, pay the bill, and leave - change the scenery.
In the after - a hot bath usually helps me. If you happen to be at home, that is. Or some Enya or music of that type.
Don't know if this helps, but it sounds like you're struggling with this sort of thing right now. I totally understand how frightening anxiety/panic attacks can be.
One last time - THEY DO PASS. Remember that when they hit. And good on you for chugging the booze in the bin!
Best of luck,
- tank
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: DEADWOOD
Posts: 39
Originally Posted by ChampionRabbit
Bit better thanks; there's an account manager at work who's really pissing me off and that's proving a distraction from my feeling of imprending doom!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: DEADWOOD
Posts: 39
Hello Rabbitt,
I'm a little worried about you. Usually you don't go this long between posts, so I hope everything is o.k. I have been doing somewhat better. I drove by a liquor store yesterday and got antsy. I too am not sure AA is for me, I'm not one to open my soul in person to complete strangers and in general I'm skeptical of any formal institution -- but as I go through this process there is one aspect of the program that makes a little sense to me. The idea of working the problem "one day at a time" has more merit than its face value would suggest.
Over the last few days I found myself obsessing over what I'm going to do about drinking days, weeks, months, years, millenium from now. How am I going to avoid drinking at New Year's eve, or weddings, or my birthday, or when the baby is born, or when my cat dies? Thinking in those terms is overwhelming and in the past has led inevitably to relapse.
So I've decide not to worry about those things. Right now, I'm focusing on my danger window 4-9 PM everyday. I figure if I can get through that than tomorrow will take care of itself.
I hope to hear from you soon and I hope all is well with your family.
Take care.
Jon
P.S.
When I was 19 I got drunk in London at the Dolphin pub on the West End and I woke up the next morning on the steps to the Tube behind St. Pauls Cathedral with a half-naked girl from Hungary next to me. Those were the days!
I'm a little worried about you. Usually you don't go this long between posts, so I hope everything is o.k. I have been doing somewhat better. I drove by a liquor store yesterday and got antsy. I too am not sure AA is for me, I'm not one to open my soul in person to complete strangers and in general I'm skeptical of any formal institution -- but as I go through this process there is one aspect of the program that makes a little sense to me. The idea of working the problem "one day at a time" has more merit than its face value would suggest.
Over the last few days I found myself obsessing over what I'm going to do about drinking days, weeks, months, years, millenium from now. How am I going to avoid drinking at New Year's eve, or weddings, or my birthday, or when the baby is born, or when my cat dies? Thinking in those terms is overwhelming and in the past has led inevitably to relapse.
So I've decide not to worry about those things. Right now, I'm focusing on my danger window 4-9 PM everyday. I figure if I can get through that than tomorrow will take care of itself.
I hope to hear from you soon and I hope all is well with your family.
Take care.
Jon
P.S.
When I was 19 I got drunk in London at the Dolphin pub on the West End and I woke up the next morning on the steps to the Tube behind St. Pauls Cathedral with a half-naked girl from Hungary next to me. Those were the days!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: London
Posts: 109
Hey Beacon!
It's only 2 days since I posted; don't give up on me yet!!
It's my daughters 2nd birthday today, and we exchanged contracts on the new house, so things are pretty damn good around here today. I had a MASSIVE crash in the week, but didn't drink anything so now I'm back to feeling smug.
Thought I'd got over the early-evening cravings but since I hit my depressive patch a few days ago I'm back to being desperate for booze by 7pm. I guess I was being a little glib about thinking I was through the worst.
You're so right about the one-day vs lifetime perspective of sobriety; I swing wildy between thinking that the only way to do this is one day at a time and thinking that I need to put a one-time decision behind me and move on...
Tricky business this...
Hope your doing well!
Adam
It's only 2 days since I posted; don't give up on me yet!!
It's my daughters 2nd birthday today, and we exchanged contracts on the new house, so things are pretty damn good around here today. I had a MASSIVE crash in the week, but didn't drink anything so now I'm back to feeling smug.
Thought I'd got over the early-evening cravings but since I hit my depressive patch a few days ago I'm back to being desperate for booze by 7pm. I guess I was being a little glib about thinking I was through the worst.
You're so right about the one-day vs lifetime perspective of sobriety; I swing wildy between thinking that the only way to do this is one day at a time and thinking that I need to put a one-time decision behind me and move on...
Tricky business this...
Hope your doing well!
Adam
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: DEADWOOD
Posts: 39
Hey what's up man,
Hope all is well as you begin your fourth week of being sober. I go back to work tomorrow, so this should be an interesting week. I am curious to see how I feel each day having not drank anything the night before.
Did you notice any changes at work initially?
I posted about feeling frustrated on the board. That has subsided somewhat. This is tricky business. I find myself tempted to rationalize having a drink, but I am not going to.
Look forward to hearing how you are doing,
Jon
Hope all is well as you begin your fourth week of being sober. I go back to work tomorrow, so this should be an interesting week. I am curious to see how I feel each day having not drank anything the night before.
Did you notice any changes at work initially?
I posted about feeling frustrated on the board. That has subsided somewhat. This is tricky business. I find myself tempted to rationalize having a drink, but I am not going to.
Look forward to hearing how you are doing,
Jon
Member
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: London
Posts: 109
Hey Jon,
I am still experiencing en urge to rationalise drinking on a daily basis; since I've done a few weeks of sobriety, I can clearly now drink normally! I could have a few (hahah, as if) casual beers tonight, and then not drink for another few weeks! It's all so obvious now!
Such is the idiocy of us booze-fools.
Have you read anything from Rational Recovery? Sometimes when I find myself being an absolute moron, I find it useful to use their technique of making your addiction assume he identity of a beast that lives inside you. When you are considering having a casual drink (4 weeks n! we've earned it!) then you identify that thought as being the voice of the beast rather than your own voice.
It gets to a be an almost sadistic pleasure to torture that beast by refusing to feed it...
RR sounds so crazy until you try using it, but I have found it helpful at times.
Great to hear that you're struggling onwards!
Adam
**edit** please excuse the typos; I dropped coffee on my keyboard and am using my spare while it dries. My spare is one of those almost unusable 'foldable' keyboards that hospitals use http://store1.yimg.com/I/dealsonic_1859_23074088 I do not recomend them!
I am still experiencing en urge to rationalise drinking on a daily basis; since I've done a few weeks of sobriety, I can clearly now drink normally! I could have a few (hahah, as if) casual beers tonight, and then not drink for another few weeks! It's all so obvious now!
Such is the idiocy of us booze-fools.
Have you read anything from Rational Recovery? Sometimes when I find myself being an absolute moron, I find it useful to use their technique of making your addiction assume he identity of a beast that lives inside you. When you are considering having a casual drink (4 weeks n! we've earned it!) then you identify that thought as being the voice of the beast rather than your own voice.
It gets to a be an almost sadistic pleasure to torture that beast by refusing to feed it...
RR sounds so crazy until you try using it, but I have found it helpful at times.
Great to hear that you're struggling onwards!
Adam
**edit** please excuse the typos; I dropped coffee on my keyboard and am using my spare while it dries. My spare is one of those almost unusable 'foldable' keyboards that hospitals use http://store1.yimg.com/I/dealsonic_1859_23074088 I do not recomend them!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Ft. Collins CO.
Posts: 81
Originally Posted by ChampionRabbit
Hey Jon,
Have you read anything from Rational Recovery? Sometimes when I find myself being an absolute moron, I find it useful to use their technique of making your addiction assume he identity of a beast that lives inside you. When you are considering having a casual drink (4 weeks n! we've earned it!) then you identify that thought as being the voice of the beast rather than your own voice.
It gets to a be an almost sadistic pleasure to torture that beast by refusing to feed it...
Have you read anything from Rational Recovery? Sometimes when I find myself being an absolute moron, I find it useful to use their technique of making your addiction assume he identity of a beast that lives inside you. When you are considering having a casual drink (4 weeks n! we've earned it!) then you identify that thought as being the voice of the beast rather than your own voice.
It gets to a be an almost sadistic pleasure to torture that beast by refusing to feed it...
This really reminds me of that old quote..."there is no beast without cruelty" wish I could remember who said it.
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 1,432
Just interrupting this conversation to post one of my favorite links, comparing the major recovery programs:
http://rrci.net/recovery_spectrum.htm
SMART Recovery is my preference.
That's one way to enable your java.
Now, back to your regular programming.
Don S
http://rrci.net/recovery_spectrum.htm
SMART Recovery is my preference.
I dropped coffee on my keyboard....
Now, back to your regular programming.
Don S
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
