ChampionRabbit

Hi,

I slipped badly back into drinking this year, and my family have gone away for 1 week, so I'm attempting to secretly detox in their absense.

Any tips to speed up the inititial horrors? I don't want to be a shaking, sweating wreck when they get back...

CarolD

you are trying once more. Comgratulations!

Please look near the top here for

"What to expect"
you will find info on de toxing.

Blessings...

MNGirlyGirl

Drink lots of water and eat a healthy diet. I'm not sure you can speed up what has taken a long time to bring on, but a week should be enough time to get over the bad part. Good luck to you!!

ChampionRabbit

Yeah, I did think of the dietary aspects. I bought a bunch of lemons and root ginger; that mixed with hot water is supposed to be good for toxin-flushing.

Dear God, do I ever feel stupid for slipping into this nonsense again!

Ah well, I'll fix me.

MNGirlyGirl

Just remember next time you feel a slip coming on! Many of us have been in your shoes. It's amazing how we "forget" all the bad parts of our using. Kudos for picking yourself up and getting clean and sober!

SPF 77

Unfortunately I think the only thing that works is time. Drink pedialyte or gatorade to help replace your electrolytes and keep you from dehydrating. And take a multi-vitamin to replace your B vitamins. These wont speed up the process -but you need to be sure to stay hydrated.

Good luck

High Life

God Bless You! I found that exercise helped alot with the anxiety. I sweat and shake after a workout and that might be a good cover for you after they get back. When you get through this, I think you should let them in on it. Keep posting. I'm Praying for you. -Phil

ChampionRabbit

Yeah, part of me does want to confess to the family but I think that might be for entirely selfish reasons.

I can't think of anything positive that could come of admitting to my wife (my kids are too yound) that I have been secretly drinking every night for months/years.

minnie

Don't be so sure that it has been secret. It is common that drinkers think they've been so clever at hiding it, when nothing could be further from the truth. If you are now interested in recovery, what's there to lose from telling your wife? Unless you're setting yourself up to be able to fail.....

Good luck with sobriety.

ChampionRabbit

I don't think my wife would want to know that her husband is an alkie. I can't see what good would come of it. I'm not trying to be contrary, I genuinely can't think of anything positive about telling her.

I think the responislbe thing to do it to fix myself and face my own responsibilies without draggin my wife into this sorry mess.

MNGirlyGirl

But Champ, do you really think keeping secrets is good for a marriage. Especially when the secret is who you really are? You don't need to go through this alone -- she may be very supportive!

ChampionRabbit

We have two tiny kids, I don't think I can ask for her support. I don't think she would have the energy to be suportive.

I'm sure she'd try to help me, but it would be extremely unfair of me to put her in a position where she wanted to help. I am a father and an adult and sometimes I guess you need to face up to your own (my own) failings and fix them.

In terms of secrets, no ideally I wouldn't want secrets, but in this case I think it's the right thing for me to do.

Maybe one day I'll tell her when hopefully this mess is all over and I'm older and healthier and wiser.

Beacon

Telling someone you have a disease is not dragging them into anything. If you had cancer, would you tell your wife? By not telling her, you leave the door open to relapse without what you may see as "dissapointing" her. There is nothing at stake. You just go right back into your routine and nothing has changed. If you tell her, you can't relapse without letting her down, so it is a scary situation.

The hardest part of entering recovery for me was admitting to my wife that I have a problem, but as soon as I did I felt a great burden lifted. While she can't possibly know what it is like to be an alcoholic, because she does not have a problem, she can still support me. Reminding me to go to SR when I feel cravings, getting me out of the house and active when I look like I'm about to slip up.

The one thing I am certain of is that everytime I decided I was going to quit on my own I failed. You may be different, and I hope so...and I'll prey for you to succeed, but I'll tell you this -- DT's are a little easier when someone you love holds your hand while its shaking.

Good Luck

ChampionRabbit

Ok, I don't really go along with the whole 'disease' thing, so I don't really share your views in terms of the cancer point. I made the decision to drink my first, second and thousanth drink and I'm willing to accept that it's entirely my own stupid fault.

I'm not going to argue with anybody about the AA/disease thing though; different strokes and all that.



Thanks for the luck wish though; I need all the luck I can get.

Digger

Minnie is right, I was under the impression that nobody had any idea i had started drinking again untill my youngest son asked me why i was still intent on killing myself after all the $hit we had been through. I would guess your family are awear of your Slip,thats all it is, a slip, lost count of how many ive had!
Honesty is the best policy, tell them your plans and give them the great news when they return. Good Luck be thinking of you and remember keep digging deep.

Greatful2004

Hi Rabbit,
A week should be plenty of time to detox. Like others said, eat healthy & exercise if you can. The more I sweated during the day, the less I had to deal with the awful soaking night sweats during detox.

Good luck, glad you are choosing sobriety.

minnie

Hon, I really hope for all your sakes that you are successful in this. I don't really get how drinking in secret and then using the same MO by recovering in secret can work. I take it you're planning on feeling a lot better when you've stopped drinking? How will you explain that to your wife? Women are very perceptive.
Or you wouldn't want her to know? It's OK, I understand that.

I'm not attacking you here, just raising some questions as someone who has been on the other side of the fence.

ChampionRabbit

I just don't want her to know. Not because I think she'd be anything but supportive, but because I can't stand the thought of putting her in a position where she feels like she has to support me.

She's a fabulous woman, strong, beautiful, intelligent and kind. She gives everything she has to out kids and I simply don't think it's the place of a father to redirect a mother's efforts and attentions towards his stupid failings.

I feel wretched enough at the moment; even for purely selfish reasons I cannot even begin to consider confessing to my wife.

Maybe when the worst of it is over and I can tell her without her feeling that she needs to offer support I might consider it.

Thanks for your advice and kind words!

ChildlikeFaith

Speaking as the wife of an alcoholic, if your wife is everything you say she is, then she'll be supportive. I was so thankful when my Alcoholic Husband finally admitted to me what I already knew. When he told me that he was an alcoholic and needed help, I hugged him and asked what I could do to help him through it.

There are very subtle changes in my AH when he's been drinking "just a little bit" and trying to hide it. He doesn't even know about the changes. There are words and phrases he doesn't use without the alcohol and even a tone of voice that he uses when he's been drinking. I notice them, and we've only been married for six months. I'm sure your wife notices differences about you as well.

Communication is so important in a marriage and in saving the marriage once you enter recovery. I strongly encourage you to talk to her. She will probably be very thankful you did.