Erratic

sry i have just reposted this here from the mental health forum.(trying to feel safe here)


think its about time i dealt with my alcohol probs.Im just wondering if its allright to do it here and not in the other part. As you know i suffer from BPD and other stuff. This is the only place i actually feel safe in posting really.

I have been self harming again and last night i did it while drinking, this is a slippery slope which i do not need my drinking making me do this. Not sure if anyone else understand about detatching themselves while doing this, i still dont know why i ended up doing it. I know i had bad day and normaly closure for bad day is drinking or i self harm, doing it together is not good.

So im just wondering if anyone had any ideas how to acheive dealing with stopping drinking and still contain myself safely.

Will i get the support needed here on this part of forum or do you think i need to go to the other one?

feedback would be appreciated!


I want to give up drinking and today is no better day than any other day to do this.

my anxiety is rising just writing this.


ps
i am also on medication for BPD

Erratic

also i better put a date from time i will start to not drink

3rd August 2005

best

Not many about at this hour. I am sure you will find replies on your next visit.

You may want to read the sticky threads and gather some info from them.
Congratulations on your choice. Sober is much better.

Erratic

thanks again best, i know its quiet at this time.. this is why im here..

its not first time ive tried to give up, did a whole week and went through withdrawls but now its diffrent i have medication now for my bpd and im just scared of myself in what i will do instead of drinking..

best

Not drinking helped me become not scared.
The things I did when drinking would scare me the next day when I sobered up.

Staying with your meds and not drinking should give you some balance I would think.

Millwallj

I had a couple of psch disorders in teh bag when I got sober. For me they weakened when I got sober, and have slowly started to disappear.

Erratic

thanks millwall, my disorder wont weaken im afraid my BPD came before the drinking..i used drink to stablise me which seems that it aint working any more. but i guess there is hope..

CarolD

Hello...

I am pleased to see you reaching out.

Welcome to the Alcoholusm forum.

SeanS

Hey Buddy. Sounds like you are going through a hard time. I also suffer from a disorder, but mine is an anxiety disorder. I believe that I was using alcohol and pot for many years to cope. However, it was AA that saved my life, and it wasn't until a few months ago that I finally decided to try medication again. This is after 3 years of being in the program and figuring out that there was something still not right. I now feel very stable. I take Lexapro for my anxiety disorder, but AA is important for my spiritual development. The medication alone is not enough. I had to have a complete psychic change in order to heal, and that was only possible (for me) through AA.

I tried prozac about 7 years ago while I was abusing drugs and alcohol. I did get some results, but I could not and did not want to stop drinking. The problem was two fold for me. A) I was a very, very selfish person. The whole world revolved around me. I was also extremelly spoiled. The problem was my attitude and outlook on life, as well as tons of personal defects, like instant gratification, for example. B) As stated earlier, I suffer from a panic disorder, which runs in my family. My mother also has it, and it turns out that her father was an alcoholic. My mother is not, but uses food as her coping mechanism.

I would highly suggest finding some AA meetings in your area. If you are ready to go to any lengths neccessary, then it will work for you. If not, then I would continue to drink until you hit bottom.

All people have to hit bottom before they are willing to find another way.

Good luck and God bless you.

Erratic

thanks sean.. you hit home in what you said.
i drank last night which i know is an excuse because there was drink left in cupboard which i felt needed to be finnished. i will take on board what you said about AA meeting.i know i need to go further in my steps to stop this.. im just taking baby ones i guess just now,i am still going ahead to stop drinking. all the drink is finnished and i dont have any excuses left. my medication and me should be enough to stop this cycle, i hope!..the thing with me i dont have no self respect or my outlook in life stinks and i just feel dead alot. anyway im rambling sry..

again thanks so much for replying..

Erratic

i havent had a drink for 2 days, im trying to see if reach fri with out a drink

on my 3rd day now!

CarolD

Good for you! When you finish day 3 most of the booze has left your system. Stay the course.

Do not drink no matter what!

vitalsixthsense

Alcohol will mess up your BPD meds so they won't work right. AA will make you feel usefull and happy if you go to meetings, work the program, and don't drink: you will want for nothing. Not quote by me, but another friend with BPD told me that is how it works for him.

doorknob

Hi Erratic,

I have OCD, which started before my drinking (and pot smoking) problem. I've stayed sober 60 days at best, and it's been a while.

SeanS, I've tried the AA route, and I just can't get over the theistic belief system of AA. And secular groups are few and far between and are hours away. I don't know if internet support will ever be enough.

Anyway, I don't have any answers, but wanted to say welcome and glad you're here on the alcoholism forum. I should venture down to the mental health board. Doorknob knows I belong there!

Doorknob

Chy

Glad you found your way over Erratic and congrats on your 2 days!

doorknob

Ummm... Ok

Doorknob