tsolari18

Hello all...my name is Tisa. I've been reading this site for several days and really soaking it all in. I have been an alcoholic since as long as I can remember. My alcoholic mother used to send me to get her beer from the refrigerator when I was 7 and I gladly opened and took the first drink of every single one. There started my love affair with drinking. I now use it to escape, sleep, etc. I went from a binge drinker only on the weekends to a 6 pack or more a day drunk. I've lost my husband, several high paying jobs, and my self confidence and worth. I have unsuccessfully tried to commit suicide twice and am considering it again. Even though i have two small children who need me it is still an option. I hate how I feel in the morning after the drunk wears off and tell myself no drinking tonight but by 5 Ive got a beer in hand. Im powerless and have finally realized that this path is leading me nowhere but down. I truly believe that if I continue I will be dead in a year, either by my hands or health. I called an inpatient center and they claim my insurance will not cover it because Im not "bad enough", but I can assure them that I am. I am at the end of my rope with only threads hanging on and need help quick.

amazonjudy

TISA,
FIRST MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOUR CHILDREN,
BECAUSE IF YOUR HURTING THIS BAD I CAN IMAGINE YOUR CHILDREN, I TO WAS A DRUNK FOR MANY YEARS, AND MY CHILD HAD DONE THAT AND MORE TO AID MY ADDICTION ALONE UNTILL HE ONE DAY SAID MOM IM SICK OF HOW YOU DRINK AND SCREAM AND PASS OUT,GO TO JAIL FOR MONTHS FOR DWIS, IT HIT HOME WHEN I DROVE 50 MILES AND HOUR TO HOME DRUNK WITH HIM IN THE TRUCK
HE WAS SCARED TO DEATH, WHAT IM SAYING ADDICTION MAKES US CARE ONLY ABOUT OUR SELVES WE ARE SELFISH, THIS IS NOT TO UPSET YOU BUT TO INLIGHTEN YOU, STEP 4 TELLS US WE MUST BE HONEST ABOUT OURSELVES AND THINGS WE DID, TO ANOTHER HUMAN BEING, TISA PLEASE GET YOUR SELF TO 90 MEETINGS IN 90 DAYS STARTING
TOMARROW, PLEASE MAKE AN APPOINTMENT WITH A COUNCLER FOR ALCOHOL ABUSE, AND DEPRESSION
AND DONT TAKE ANOTHER DRINK EVER, YOU WILL BE AMAZED HOW MUCH CHANGES WITHIN 30 DAYS, 30 DAYS IS THE BEGINNING OF A NEW LIFE, DO YOU WANT IT???? PLEASE DO THIS FOR YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN BECAUSE NO ONE WILL LOVE THEM LIKE THEIR MOM, LET ME KNOW IF YOU NEED TO TALK GOD BE WITH YOU!!
"JUST FOR TODAY IM A SOBER"

tsolari18

Dear AmazonJudy...Thank you for the support and the reply. You will be happy to know that not too long after that post I sought treatment at a rehab clinic and have been sober for 3 weeks. I have a very long way to go, but I know now that life is worth living for, and living without alcohol. I have gotten so much out of the fellowship and meetings that I have been to so far. I am so glad that I hit the bottom that I did or I would not be where I am now. Thanks so much for the support and friendship...it means alot to me!
Thanks,
Tisa

free2be_me927

Hi Tisa,
I'm so glad to hear you're doing better!!!!!!!! I just read your first post & it really scared me! I was in a bad way not too long ago.(If you want, go to read what I posted under Depression/BiPolar. It's a reply to "Lost Lew") The meetings are helping me so much. I've been going just lately, and it's hard, but I can't afford NOT to go. Things are still rough with what i'm going through, but I wouldn't be hanging on too tough without AA, that I know. People DO care, & that's a good feeling! Glad to hear you're ok! Take care! Linda