Sadie12

Hello I am at one week sober today .. It was a little difficult getting to this one week mark. I have a question:

If I quit or someone quits drinking for a certain amount of time and then chooses to drink a few on rare occassions; does it mean that with that first drink our whole chemistry and physiology changes and reverts back as if we were drinking heavily still?????

Does that make sense? I am not planning on drinking (I've never made it this far in years!) but I was curious as to me being a heavy drinker for many years and obviously have had some chemistry changes in my body, mind and nervous system for a while due to periodic heavy drinking.

Does the body 'have' to stay sober forever to be healthy and live a long, normal life? Or is drinking a few times a year out of the question?....saying that I "could" control my drinking at those times and not overdo it.

S

matt_w

that's great!

As I understand it, alcoholism is irreversible. I am incapable of drinking safely, and will be for the rest of my life, because I react in a physiologically different way to alcohol than do normal drinkers. When I drink, I am unable to predict how much I will take, regardless of my intentions. How many times did I really mean it when I said "I'll just have one or two and head home" only to come to the next day wondering what the hell happened? The experience of thousands tells me that this "allergic" reaction to alcohol does not recede with time, and that my only recourse is to abstain entirely.

I am only speaking of my beliefs and my experience.

Best,
Matt

CarolD

Sadie...Food for you!

Gee..why would I even bother with an occasional drink?

I worked too hard for my sobriety to play games with my alcoholism.

Sadie12

I hear ya. Alcohol has always been sort of a problem with me, since I was about 17 I always drank too much. I liked to drink that liquid. It was the drinking of it along with the effects i wanted and liked.

I am glad I am at one week and I am surprised Matt!! You know what finally sent me to the finale of my drinking career was a week ago I drank and the next morning I woke up, looked over the previous night and realized that it aint changin. The wonder of how a wonderful night with not drinking very much turned into me coming home and drinking more (which I didn't need) and negative consequences.. embarrassing myself etc. I had it!! I was sick of arguments with husband and sick of me letting myself live like a fricken freak on booze!!! Sick of the nonsense. Man am I sick of it.

Even after a few days I thought about drinking but was like "hell no, it isn't worth it at all anymore!"

It helps my hsuband is quitting too, however, he will most likely drink on & off but that is fine. I am the one that has control over me and how I want to live my life. Plus when he and I drink together, we drink, and most of the time argue by nights end... gee that's not fun!!! Not to mention the hangovers!! Urgh.

Sure I wonder how I will go on vacations, boating or out with friends without drinking but as long as I just Do It than all will be fine and I'll have nothing to hide or be embarrassed about. I know soon it won't be such a big deal to be a "non drinker".

I used to be ashamed to say that i don't drink but I am starting to feel a bit of proudness (is that a word?) and i wanna tell people i don't drink and if they ask why, i'll just say that i've had my share of booze for a lifetime, thanks.... and that is the truth. I do't wanna turn 40 and still have a drinking problem.. 22 yrs is long enough!!!

Sadie12

Thanks Carol. That is how I feel at this point. For me, having one week is incredible!! And few bottles, I mean a few glassess (LOL) of champagne would ruin it and I would have to start all over again.

I don't even have the desire to have that blanket of buzz in me, and that is a great sign for me.. Alcohol would just make me tired, talkative, loosey-goosey and argumentive THEN of course i would have the hangover from hell for two days and the depression that goes along with it.

I believe that I'm an alchy because of that paragraph i just wrote above. Normal drinkers, even at the age of 40, do not have hangovers from hell almot everytime they drink OR does it take them 2 days to recover after a 'fun' night out OR do they feel the affects of depression caused my booze and my "too much drinking" brain and body.

Yes?

Dan

Absolutely!
Congratulations on a sober week Sadie.

michaelj

Sadie,

Very well done on your week's anniversary, it's a great achievment. For me certainly, and I am sure for most alcohol addicts, a return to the whole living hell of alcoholism is just one drink away. I tried to cut back, to drink singles, etc etc etc, none of it worked. I know that I can never drink again and I have come to terms with that.
I have heard of people who have returned to "normal" drinking. I have never met any of them and I am not sure if I ever will. The physical effects alcohol causes to my system will never change and I accept that is so. Acceptance is the key here, with acceptance I can move on and not get hung up on whether there is a cure for me out there. I already have the only cure...abstinence.
I wish you well in your sobriety, good luck
Michael

tyler

I think that it depends on the person really. Everyone reacts to things differently, but if you have to ask the question, I would say that perhaps it is not a good idea to risk it. For me personally, alcohol was a "secondary" drug, pot was my DOC. That said, I have come to realize that I was having a "problem" with alcohol too. I would say that I can drink socially, ie: a beer or glass of wine with dinner, without the need to drink until I pass out. However that wasn't what I was really doing, I would justify it with that, but in reality I was drinking half a bottle of Jack in my room by myself, therefore I chose to stop drinking entirely. Could I still have a bottle of beer with dinner and be OK, I think so, but for now I find it "safest" to abstain entierly.

NoMoBeer

Hey Sadie -- welcome to SR, and congrats on being sober!

My advice would be to read the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. It really explains everything you need to know about the disease. If you are not already attending AA meetings, many of your quesitons will be answered there as well...

The book talks about the "obsession" of the mind, and the "allergy" of the body, creating an incessant craving once alcohol (no matter what kind, how much, etc.) is introduced to the body. If you are a real alcoholic, this will apply to you as well.

Tyler said that it "depends on the person." Really the only thing it depends on is if you are a real alcoholic or not. For me, I know that I am an alcoholic, so I cannot drink safely again, and I'm OK with that.

Keep coming back and remember to take sobriety one day at a time...

Ken

2dayzmuse

I can never drink again. If I do, I know what the results will be. It will never change. I've tested it many times. Why keep making the same mistakes? Why keep doing that to myself? Abstinence for me is forever. NOT occasionally...

tyler

That may well be true, I have never really considered myself an "alcoholic", more of someone who "abuses alcohol", though I "pass" every "test" that is out there as to whether I'm an alcoholic. I think that many people are labeled alcoholics who really aren't. But as I said before, if it is a matter that you have to give much thought to, it is probably best to err on the safe side and not drink.

BikerBill8

Hi, Keep doing what your doing and congrat's on staying sober.

2tough2die

Sounds like awesome stuff, where can I get some?

Congratulations on your week!

Although if I were experiencing the above, I wouldn't be considering the merits of experiencing it again or whether or not I was alcoholic.

I'd be grabbing a Shasta! :beerchug:

But to get back to your original question ... I know many people who are one drink away from waking up miles away days later, even after 20 years of sobriety. I also know a guy who was 'problemic' with alcohol who took a few years off and drinks socially on occassion with no problem.

Where you fall along that line is something only you (and your body) can answer.

- Greg

KarenOskie

I think that for me, one of the most dangerous thoughts I can have is 'maybe just one'. Or 'maybe just on occasion'. When I relapsed before, after a couple of years sober, that's how it happened. I didn't decide 'I want to drink too much on a regular basis and wake up sick and go to work still drunk from the night before and do and say incredibly stupid things.' I said to myself, 'Just this once, and then no more'
That went ok. It took a while for it to build back up to such a serious problem for me, but when it did it went way, way past where it had been before. I'm not saying it's true for everyone, but for everyone I know whose an alcoholic, I feel pretty sure they would say the same. I've done it countless times. I think I've learned that lesson thoroughly now. I was in a meeting tonight, and suddenly wanted to drink! That felt so terrible. I didn't do it, though. I prayed about it, talked about it to someone after the meeting, and then driving home, still wishing I could drink, I thought to myself, 'I am worth more than that. I deserve a chance!' I know now that one drink sets my desease on fire and in motion. It's cunning, baffling and powerful. I like to think of it as a living being. It tricks me by letting me get away with just one or two, maybe several times in a row, to lull me into submission. So long as I don't take that drink, it can't touch me, though it can talk to me in my head. Once I do take the drink, I am under it's power. I know that may seem extreme to some, but hey, this is a lesson I've spent my whole life learning and I know that for me it is very true.
This time last week I was such an incredible drunken mess. Tonight, I feel kind of lonesome, kind of bored, but I feel better about me and I have hope of it getting so much better. I'm going to an 11 o'clock meeting so I can hear sober people laughing. What a wonderful sound that is!

AndrewBeen

I am an alcoholic and one of my tools for recovery is understanding the biochemistry of additction. It seems nerdy, but it helps me. So for what it's worth.

My understanding is that the alchoholic metabolism of alchol is a different from the non-alcoholic. After ingesting, all people convert alchol to acetaldehyde (a poison) then converts the acetaldehyde into acetic acid (like vinegar) and then break that down into water and CO2. However, what the alcoholic appears to do is to pass some of the acetaldeyde to the brain where it is transformed into THiQ (tetrahydraisoqunoline). Herion and morphene addicts also accumulate THiQ. At any rate, THiQ sits in receptors in the brain, and is seems to drive addictive urges. Animal studies have shown that THiQ remains in the brain for up to 7 years, and perhaps forever.

Drinking even one drink will activate the THiQ in the brain and lead to strong cravings and likely more drinking. Back to square one. At least thats the way I understand it.

icecream pete

Hi Sadie, congrats on your week. I agree with all of the above! I recently was sober for 70 days, got angry and took one drink, and kept on for another 41 days until I hurt both physically and emotionally. If we are unable to control our drinking (no matter what label you put on it) odds are that we will never be able to, no matter how big the gap is since the last one.

Good luck

Pete

Secondchances

Sadie, you are very wise to recognize this for what it is and not want to advance things. Congrats on your one week and I encourage you to keep it up.

My drinking was never normal, but I was so young when it became an issue. I thought maybe it was "the crowd" I was hanging out with. I was sober for 26 months until, at the age of 22, I had a date and was nervous. Without giving it much thought as I remember, I had a margarita. Pretty much instant blackout and I've never accumulated that much consecutive time again. It's been years and I've really tried.

Every person is different. There's no telling what might happen to you. It is a risk to weigh. Good luck.

2dayzmuse

I tried the maybe just one theory. 9 days later, I was pummeled and pickled from a day into night drinking marathon. It is safe to say I can't have just one. If I do, it may kill me.

Secondchances

Yes, 2dayzmuse, you raise an excellent point. There is NO guarantee that one will have the option to stop drinking again, once started, even once. Stuff happens. I should have been gone long time ago. God must have some reason to keep me around. Not everyone makes it back, as they say in AA, and it's true. I used to think people were being melodramatic when they said that, but I know better now. There but for the grace of God go I...