I tried
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: lost and confused
Posts: 47
I tried
So I decided I would stop drinking May 1st. And I lasted until the 20th. I was just thinking that I was angry and bitter due to no alcohol, and i finally gave in this past friday. I thought it would help, what a silly lie to believe it didn't help. I was just more angry the bext day knowing i drank. then I still had some left so I drank again last night. It may sound like I don't want to stop but I really do, I guess this just proves to me that I can't do it by myself.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Gee...
A lot of us tried to quit many times before we actually did! I am glad you are starting again. 
For me...AA is the answer. Meetings are vital to my continuing recovery.
Hope you find your way..
For me...AA is the answer. Meetings are vital to my continuing recovery.
Hope you find your way..
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Minneapolis MN
Posts: 404
Hey Paragon
It is tough stop period. It can be especially tough trying to stop by yourself. Keep posting on SR, and maybe check out an AA meeting locally? Not trying to push you to something that you don't want, but being around people with the same challenges can be helpful. Good luck!!!!
It is tough stop period. It can be especially tough trying to stop by yourself. Keep posting on SR, and maybe check out an AA meeting locally? Not trying to push you to something that you don't want, but being around people with the same challenges can be helpful. Good luck!!!!
Michael
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: London England
Posts: 291
Hello Paragon,
I like the nom-de -plume, Paragonlost brings to mind Milton's epic poem Paradise Lost. It is tells of the fall of man from a state of Grace into an imperfect world and man's struggle to regain heaven. It's quite an apt metaphor for what has happened to all of us here. We come into this world with no concept of the sorrows that will befall us. Alcohol addiction really is a great sorrow, life was surely never meant to be blighted by such a destructive substance. To regain the metaphorical heaven I believe that I have to take responsibility for my circumstances and I have to find a way back.,
Well, enough metaphors, I too would suggest that you go to AA. Regular Michaelj readers will know that I don't do AA myself and that I subscribe to Rational Recovery. I am a firm believer in the do-it-yourself approach to sobriety. I do however recognise the great benefit AA can be to so many people. You will receive support and you will be able to share concerns, doubts and fears. If you do go down the AA path you will have contacts to call on the next time you get the dreaded cravings.
Whatever path you choose I wish you well. As they say at AA your life will get better. I and many others here are living proof of the truth of that assertion. My life is immeasurably better since I gave up alcohol. Your life will be better too.
Michael
PS I promise to give up my attempts to make metaphors.
I like the nom-de -plume, Paragonlost brings to mind Milton's epic poem Paradise Lost. It is tells of the fall of man from a state of Grace into an imperfect world and man's struggle to regain heaven. It's quite an apt metaphor for what has happened to all of us here. We come into this world with no concept of the sorrows that will befall us. Alcohol addiction really is a great sorrow, life was surely never meant to be blighted by such a destructive substance. To regain the metaphorical heaven I believe that I have to take responsibility for my circumstances and I have to find a way back.,
Well, enough metaphors, I too would suggest that you go to AA. Regular Michaelj readers will know that I don't do AA myself and that I subscribe to Rational Recovery. I am a firm believer in the do-it-yourself approach to sobriety. I do however recognise the great benefit AA can be to so many people. You will receive support and you will be able to share concerns, doubts and fears. If you do go down the AA path you will have contacts to call on the next time you get the dreaded cravings.
Whatever path you choose I wish you well. As they say at AA your life will get better. I and many others here are living proof of the truth of that assertion. My life is immeasurably better since I gave up alcohol. Your life will be better too.
Michael
PS I promise to give up my attempts to make metaphors.
Agnostic with faith
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Lisbon, Portugal
Posts: 94
Hi Paragonlost,
"I guess this prooves that I can't do it by myself." You damn right you can't! It's impossible to do it by yourself unless you count miracles. That is why so many of us failed to stop drinking at our first try, and 2nd, and 3rd, and 100th. You need outside help, therapy, AA, other programs, SR right here, there so many possibilities.
Be reassured it doesn't sound as if you don't want to stop drinking, you just tried it the hardest way. As far as I'm concerned it was the impossible way.
My advice is for you to bear this in mind as well as what was told to you in the other posts.
Hugs- Pedro.
"I guess this prooves that I can't do it by myself." You damn right you can't! It's impossible to do it by yourself unless you count miracles. That is why so many of us failed to stop drinking at our first try, and 2nd, and 3rd, and 100th. You need outside help, therapy, AA, other programs, SR right here, there so many possibilities.
Be reassured it doesn't sound as if you don't want to stop drinking, you just tried it the hardest way. As far as I'm concerned it was the impossible way.
My advice is for you to bear this in mind as well as what was told to you in the other posts.
Hugs- Pedro.
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Roxbury, CT
Posts: 22
And if you aren't ready for AA, just keep trying period! 20 days is great.
While only having quit drinking one time outside of pregnancy, I convinced myself that because I had gone 4 months without drinking, I didn't have the big problem I thought I did. Now, I am right back to the cycle drinking pattern I have. I am going to try alone for a while- not so alone, online and with the true help of my husband and a couple of freinds. Luckily, I have a circle of freinds that I do nothing but exercise with!
I don't have to ditch any friends to become a non-drinker.
I think you did very well, 20 days is great. So, how about another 20 and then read this post that you wrote so that on day 20 you keep on going!
While only having quit drinking one time outside of pregnancy, I convinced myself that because I had gone 4 months without drinking, I didn't have the big problem I thought I did. Now, I am right back to the cycle drinking pattern I have. I am going to try alone for a while- not so alone, online and with the true help of my husband and a couple of freinds. Luckily, I have a circle of freinds that I do nothing but exercise with!
I don't have to ditch any friends to become a non-drinker.
I think you did very well, 20 days is great. So, how about another 20 and then read this post that you wrote so that on day 20 you keep on going!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Pickering Ontario
Posts: 69
Hi there,
Please don't beat yourself up. I know its hard, but just think of it as a stepping stone in your recovery. Next time you want to drink, remember the guilt and shame you feel today. I would write down how I felt when I was hung over after I drank. I read that journal today and it's damn scary. I can't BELIEVE the mindset I was in, what I had done, etc. I had MANY abstaining periods, lasting no more then two weeks. You lasted 20 days, you can do it! I'm finally into my going into my fourth month, if you had asked me four months ago I would have told you abstaining for me would be impossible.
Being able to admit you can't do it on your own is awsome, not shameful. Give yourself credit for that. Many won't even admit there's a problem period.
Please keep coming back on here anytime you have a craving. Leave a post or seek out another recovering alcoholic. Someone always says something that hits you... well does for me I find.. and when I"m not strong enough I get strength from someone else to be sober another day. We're not ment to do this alone! Good luck to you and God bless.
Please don't beat yourself up. I know its hard, but just think of it as a stepping stone in your recovery. Next time you want to drink, remember the guilt and shame you feel today. I would write down how I felt when I was hung over after I drank. I read that journal today and it's damn scary. I can't BELIEVE the mindset I was in, what I had done, etc. I had MANY abstaining periods, lasting no more then two weeks. You lasted 20 days, you can do it! I'm finally into my going into my fourth month, if you had asked me four months ago I would have told you abstaining for me would be impossible.
Being able to admit you can't do it on your own is awsome, not shameful. Give yourself credit for that. Many won't even admit there's a problem period.
Please keep coming back on here anytime you have a craving. Leave a post or seek out another recovering alcoholic. Someone always says something that hits you... well does for me I find.. and when I"m not strong enough I get strength from someone else to be sober another day. We're not ment to do this alone! Good luck to you and God bless.
Not the center of the Universe
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Orchard Lake, Michigan
Posts: 974
Hello paragon,
There are no bonus points awarded for doing it all by yourself. While doing it all by yourself is certainly the harder, rougher way, I've come to believe that it also feeds the ego problem that lies somewhere near the center of the disease. For me, at least, I was setting myself up for a harder fall when I tried to do it without the experience, strength, and hope of others. I'd get so proud of myself that when I did fail, I felt twice as bad, which made it twice as hard to stop again.
And then there is this: If all I have between myself and that first drink is myself and I want that first drink, there is nothing between myself and that first drink. And if I have waited until the crisis moment to ask for help, it's probably going to be too late.
On the other hand, there are plenty of unexpected benefits that may come from learning to rely on the experience, strength, and hope of others. For me, the real problem turned out to be what was still there and what was not there once I removed alcohol and other drugs from my life.
That's just my experience but I'm not as terminally unique as I used to believe.
One Love, One Heart, Jah Bless,
Tony
Originally Posted by paragonlost
...I guess this just proves to me that I can't do it by myself.
And then there is this: If all I have between myself and that first drink is myself and I want that first drink, there is nothing between myself and that first drink. And if I have waited until the crisis moment to ask for help, it's probably going to be too late.
On the other hand, there are plenty of unexpected benefits that may come from learning to rely on the experience, strength, and hope of others. For me, the real problem turned out to be what was still there and what was not there once I removed alcohol and other drugs from my life.
That's just my experience but I'm not as terminally unique as I used to believe.
One Love, One Heart, Jah Bless,
Tony
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