Day 28 - proud, but worried I am a true addict
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Northern GA
Posts: 14
Day 28 - proud, but worried I am a true addict
I am proud that I have made it to day 28 and confident I will make it to day 30 and beyond. But, I am worried. Not about alcohol, but ever since I quit drinking my actions have turned towards other things. Mostly my concern is that I have been eating very very badly. I will get urges for milkshakes and ice cream and chicken wings and giant Hershey bars and brownies.. I could go on and on.
Several years ago, before my problem with alcohol started, I had a food problem and weighed almost 300lbs and was terribly out of shape. I used food to reward myself for working hard in my business. I finally got help from an inspiring personal trainer and my family's encouragment. I completley stopped my bad eating, lost all the fat, and got into great shape over the course of a few years. I rarely drank during this time. About 2 years ago I started drinking a few drinks on the weekends and soon it became every day. I couldn't control my drinking, but my eating and working out was all still in control.
Now that I quit drinking, it's like my mind is trying to latch on to another addiction. I have a cabinet full of pain pills from prescriptions I was given, but never took. I and am worried about that now too because I took one Tuesday for a bad headache - of course felt 'high' from it - and now I have another headache and am worried that it's just my mind trying to get me to take another pain pill.
Am I not able to go through life without addiction to something all the time?
I believe what I was able to accomplish with my weight loss was because I had chanelled my obsessive-compulsive addictions towards a fitness addiction. It worked for a long time and then I slipped. But, now I am having a hard time rechanneling my addictive self back to fitness. Am I analyzing this correctly? I would appreciate any input y'all may have on this.
Several years ago, before my problem with alcohol started, I had a food problem and weighed almost 300lbs and was terribly out of shape. I used food to reward myself for working hard in my business. I finally got help from an inspiring personal trainer and my family's encouragment. I completley stopped my bad eating, lost all the fat, and got into great shape over the course of a few years. I rarely drank during this time. About 2 years ago I started drinking a few drinks on the weekends and soon it became every day. I couldn't control my drinking, but my eating and working out was all still in control.
Now that I quit drinking, it's like my mind is trying to latch on to another addiction. I have a cabinet full of pain pills from prescriptions I was given, but never took. I and am worried about that now too because I took one Tuesday for a bad headache - of course felt 'high' from it - and now I have another headache and am worried that it's just my mind trying to get me to take another pain pill.
Am I not able to go through life without addiction to something all the time?
I believe what I was able to accomplish with my weight loss was because I had chanelled my obsessive-compulsive addictions towards a fitness addiction. It worked for a long time and then I slipped. But, now I am having a hard time rechanneling my addictive self back to fitness. Am I analyzing this correctly? I would appreciate any input y'all may have on this.
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 1,432
There's nothing wrong with developing an exercise program. Filling the old drinking times would be just one of the benefits! But being obsessive about it may be setting yourself up to 'fail' in your own mind. Just working moderate exercise back into your daily routine, making some lifestyle changes to get away from the old drinking patterns -- all that will make you feel better about yourself.
It can be useful to look at substance abuse, overeating, fixation on fitness, etc., as all forms of harmful behavior. Some people find that when they quit one thing such as drinking, another hard-to-control urge starts popping up each day. You may be doing these things to attempt to deal with anxiety, depression, etc. I have a friend who has dealt with drinking, temptation by drugs, smoking, cutting, etc., and each one kind of flared up when the other was removed. Counseling has been very, very helpful in that case, making it possible to recognize the interconnection of the behaviors.
That's a key thing to remember: they are all just behavior. SMART Recovery, an REBT approach, is based on the idea that emotions and behavior result from our thoughts and beliefs. When we recognize the beliefs we have that lead to distress and emotional upset, we can dispute those beliefs and gradually change our behavior. If you find it comforting to eat, or do it in response to stressful situations, the approach is to plan for those situations and also to tackle the beliefs some other way.
The fact that you're worrying about the pain pills is not unusual. Then we get upset about being worried--some people call that a 'secondary upset'. It wouldn't hurt to get rid of them, I suppose. There are plenty of headache remedies that don't cause a high. But you could look at it another way: you are now especially vigilant about becoming attracted to drugs which alter your mood. Rather than worry, just be aware of the attraction. If it bugs you and you find yourself fixating on them, get rid of them. You are in control of your actions.
Don S
It can be useful to look at substance abuse, overeating, fixation on fitness, etc., as all forms of harmful behavior. Some people find that when they quit one thing such as drinking, another hard-to-control urge starts popping up each day. You may be doing these things to attempt to deal with anxiety, depression, etc. I have a friend who has dealt with drinking, temptation by drugs, smoking, cutting, etc., and each one kind of flared up when the other was removed. Counseling has been very, very helpful in that case, making it possible to recognize the interconnection of the behaviors.
That's a key thing to remember: they are all just behavior. SMART Recovery, an REBT approach, is based on the idea that emotions and behavior result from our thoughts and beliefs. When we recognize the beliefs we have that lead to distress and emotional upset, we can dispute those beliefs and gradually change our behavior. If you find it comforting to eat, or do it in response to stressful situations, the approach is to plan for those situations and also to tackle the beliefs some other way.
The fact that you're worrying about the pain pills is not unusual. Then we get upset about being worried--some people call that a 'secondary upset'. It wouldn't hurt to get rid of them, I suppose. There are plenty of headache remedies that don't cause a high. But you could look at it another way: you are now especially vigilant about becoming attracted to drugs which alter your mood. Rather than worry, just be aware of the attraction. If it bugs you and you find yourself fixating on them, get rid of them. You are in control of your actions.
Don S
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Northern GA
Posts: 14
Thank you Don for your insight. Your comment about your friend, especially the part "each one kind of flared up when the other was removed" really hits home with me.
Although I see a physciatrist almost monthly - mostly for medication management as I have had serious depression for many years - I have never been to actual "counseling", but will give it a shot.
Although I see a physciatrist almost monthly - mostly for medication management as I have had serious depression for many years - I have never been to actual "counseling", but will give it a shot.
Michael
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: London England
Posts: 291
You might want to have a look at the Rational Recovery site. It looks at addictive responses in a very clear way and proposes a course of action that works for me.
If it works for you, great. If not then I am sure that others will give their advice for what works for them.
Whatever you decide to do, you have done very well in achieving one month's sobriety. Good for you.
Michael
If it works for you, great. If not then I am sure that others will give their advice for what works for them.
Whatever you decide to do, you have done very well in achieving one month's sobriety. Good for you.
Michael
CleanDawg
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Atlanta,GA
Posts: 4
Hello N. GA Neighbor
I'm going through the exact same thing you are right now, so trust me, you are not alone. I used to be a competitive bodybuilder and was always very careful about my diest. After a weightlifting accident left me with a painful back injury I started to drink and put on a lot of weight.Last year I was able to shed 31 lbs, but I was still drinking on a daily basis. Now that I've quit drinking, I have all kinds of food cravings,..comfort foods if you will. I'm only on day 10, but like yourself, I'm concerned about the cravings too. I like to think it's temporary and it's just my mind trying to get some kind of instant gradification now that the booze is gone. I've been trying to use my new found "sober time" to work around the house, go for a walk, etc. So far I haven't gained any weight (although, I haven't lost any either which is scary since I cut a 1/2 fifth of bourbon out of my daily diet 
.
Keep in touch and let me know how it is going. Us Georgia boys are pretty tough and I think we can get through this sober and without getting fat!
. Keep in touch and let me know how it is going. Us Georgia boys are pretty tough and I think we can get through this sober and without getting fat!
Michael
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: London England
Posts: 291
Cleandawg,
There are hardly any carbohydrates in bourbon and the alcohol metabolises quite quickly. Beer and red wine and the less dry white wines drinks seem to contain more carbs and people who were big drinkers of those can lose weight once they have given up. Look on the bright side, you are sober and your weight is the same, life just keeps getting better.
Michael
There are hardly any carbohydrates in bourbon and the alcohol metabolises quite quickly. Beer and red wine and the less dry white wines drinks seem to contain more carbs and people who were big drinkers of those can lose weight once they have given up. Look on the bright side, you are sober and your weight is the same, life just keeps getting better.
Michael
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