progress

Haven't been around lately. I hope and pray I get it right this time.

Dan

Welcome back wild one.

quercusalba

Hi there, Wild1 -

I had missed your posts from earlier this year... I just went back and looked them over to get a better perspective on where you're coming from. I've had similar issues with relapsing over the past six months. I am sober now, and still struggling on a more or less daily basis. I can empathize with you totally; I'm pulling for you, just like all these other wonderful people here are. I don't have much in the way of advice; I'm sure you've heard most of it anyway, and others have said it better than I can. I just want to let you know that you're not alone, and, with hard work, we can achieve and maintain sobriety. Even if it's minute by minute. My biggest tools right now are planning for the inevitable moment when I decide to drink (and thwarting it), keeping myself out of situations where I might drink or find a reason to buy alcohol (even if it means I walk around without a dime in my pocket), more planning, meetings, and prayer. And coming here.

I wish you all the best; hope to see you around here more often. Congratulations on day one.
--anne

tenK

Hiya Wild,

I was happy to see your post. I've been in and out and lurking around myself for the last couple months. Still on the bottle, but forcing myself to keep track (in fact less days drinking, but no real run of days since January). I am happy to say I am on day 4 -- the best since I first came here in January. What's the longest run of days you did? (I think mine was 10.) We seem to be in a similar place...

welcome back!

In memory of miracle

Welcome back ! Recovery is possible,stick around .

((( TenK ))) Congrads on your 4 days !

michaelj

Stay with it. Every journey starts with a single step.

Good luck

Michael

CarolD

Hello Wild abd tenK...

You keep working on recovery..those relapses are painful.

progress

You're telling me! Thank God I'm still here and thank God my family still loves me. I am faced with the very real fact that I could hurt myself (physically) badly or end up in jail if I continue on my current path. All my "feelings," all that crap, all the rationalizations I use for my drinking, won't matter a bit if I put myself in a wheelchair permanently or get thrown in jail for DUI.

Last night I had an argument with my husband that I have only a dim memory of, plus I somehow hurt myself (not seriously, but I'm sore) and have absolutely no idea how. And I'm afraid to ask anyone...

This is funny, anyway: when I saw the screen name Michaelj, I thought it was my husband and that he somehow found out I was posting here--that's his user ID at work. Once I resumed breathing again, lol, I got a chuckle out of it.

tenK

UDI - Unexplained Drinking Injury

I once thought of doing a photographic series of the bruises I would wake up with. One was, like, grid-shaped.. I think from a milk carton.

But today is brand new day wild1. Take a deep breath, move forward. I hope you feel better soon...

Kahlia

I have had lots of arguments with people and do not remember why or what the hell I said....it is just addiction. That word, I hate it, it keeps me clean and sober., along with NA, a 12 step program, support form my friends and just plain old prayer. I am glad you are back and I hope this time you STOP. recovery is a much better effort than drinking.....even if your husband did know you were coming here, he might like to read a lot of the posts, may make him understnad things a little better.....Good luck in yur decision...Kahlia

progress

Nice to wake up to such comforting thoughts. Also nice to wake up remembering yesterday. Geez, this is going to be hard, but I'm pretty much past the point of having an option to quit.


UDI--I like that. But it's been all too real in previous weeks.

doorknob

Hi Wild,

Congratulations on making today day 1!

Doorknob

CAPTAINZING2000

Nothing changes unless something changes!!!!!


Lot of people come and go on this site. It's always nice to see someone come back.

Did you learn anything? Experience learned is a lesson in life. Learn the lesson well and you don't have to make the mistake twice


Chris

progress

Yes, I have learned that if I fail to plan (i.e., to deal with those times of temptation and weakness), I can plan to fail.

Cathy31

Hi Wild1
How are you doing today?
Cathy31
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progress

Doing well! I have truly realized that, in the words of some government official or political pundit, "Failure is not an option." Even though I have previously expressed some misgivings about AA, I am going to try to get to some meetings this week, take what I can use, and leave the rest. Because I would prefer not to go to an inpatient program due to family responsibilities, this would be a good step to try before checking myself into rehab.

Because I live in a small town where meetings are pretty infrequent, it is challenging (to say the least) to do 90 meetings in 90 days. But if I attend some meetings, get some phone numbers, come to SR, and do my spiritual stuff (i.e., Bible study, church, and reading), those things combined can be somewhat equivalent.

I am very happy that I was brutally honest with my husband on Saturday night. There were a lot of things I needed to get out in the open that I hadn't. Although it was a very painful "heated discussion," I feel as though a huge burden has been lifted off me, and I realize that my sobriety is and must be the most important thing in my life right now.

So, I'm good today! Thanks for asking.

CAPTAINZING2000

I love determination

Cathy31

Hi Wild
That sounds really good - good on you for combining what's available to make a program that works for you! I am so glad that you were also able to speak honestly with your H - even if it was painful, it's so wonderful to be able to be honest and get support from the people we love.
Have you already got to your AA meetings? I have to say I am SO HAPPY for you that you are going to give it a try - I think you will find them more meaningful (and fun) than you could ever imagine. Please keep us posted - and again, good for you! WELL DONE!
Cathy31
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