anyone just quit drinking alcohol for compelling reason but without support groups?
one day at a time
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: UK
Posts: 44
anyone just quit drinking alcohol for compelling reason but without support groups?
I am an alcoholic. I know that as soon as I take that first drink, my brain goes screwy, my priorities change and my only focus is on my next drink. If I feel I'm not drinking because it's my *choice* I get very agitated but somehow if I don't feel I have a choice, it doesn't seem to bother me so much.
I suffer from a specific type of depression for which I am on medication and when I am not drinking, the medication works well for me. When I drink however the meds do not work and I feel either suicidal or homicidal towards my children
Needless to say I hate feeling these things even though I know the depressive phase passes after a week or so, but it will return a few weeks later. There is not enough space between depressive periods that I can safely (from the point of view of the meds being effective) drink and then get the meds working before the next bout.
Since my last 'drunk' I have encountered another bout of depression (as the prozac hadn't been in my system long enough without booze to suppress it, to counter the alcohol) and then after > 2 weeks on the prozac sober, the depression started to lift. It is still there a little but I can tell the meds are working.
At the moment I feel this is compelling enough reason to never pick up a drink again. Am I just fooling myself? I guess I don't believe in my heart that alcohol alone will kill me, but I do believe my depression, if untreated or unmedicated, will kill either me or my children and this is why I don't want to pick up a drink ever again. I feel as if, I have a life-threatening illness and all I have to do to not die is to not drink... but not because I'm an alcoholic but because of my other illness which alcohol interferes with the medication for. Since I figured this out, my attitude to alcohol has been, well that's something I just can't do, so get on without it, and I've not felt bad about it since. If the thought of a drink occurs to me, I just remember, no I can't, I'll get really ill, so I don't have it and I genuinely don't mind. I'm confused that it seems to have suddenly clicked into place for me... I stopped drinking and I don't mind...
I suffer from a specific type of depression for which I am on medication and when I am not drinking, the medication works well for me. When I drink however the meds do not work and I feel either suicidal or homicidal towards my children
Needless to say I hate feeling these things even though I know the depressive phase passes after a week or so, but it will return a few weeks later. There is not enough space between depressive periods that I can safely (from the point of view of the meds being effective) drink and then get the meds working before the next bout.Since my last 'drunk' I have encountered another bout of depression (as the prozac hadn't been in my system long enough without booze to suppress it, to counter the alcohol) and then after > 2 weeks on the prozac sober, the depression started to lift. It is still there a little but I can tell the meds are working.
At the moment I feel this is compelling enough reason to never pick up a drink again. Am I just fooling myself? I guess I don't believe in my heart that alcohol alone will kill me, but I do believe my depression, if untreated or unmedicated, will kill either me or my children and this is why I don't want to pick up a drink ever again. I feel as if, I have a life-threatening illness and all I have to do to not die is to not drink... but not because I'm an alcoholic but because of my other illness which alcohol interferes with the medication for. Since I figured this out, my attitude to alcohol has been, well that's something I just can't do, so get on without it, and I've not felt bad about it since. If the thought of a drink occurs to me, I just remember, no I can't, I'll get really ill, so I don't have it and I genuinely don't mind. I'm confused that it seems to have suddenly clicked into place for me... I stopped drinking and I don't mind...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Greenfield, MA
Posts: 62
From AA Big Book-- THE DOCTOR'S OPINION
THE DOCTOR'S OPINION
WE OF Alcoholics Anonymous believe that the reader will be interested in the medical estimate of the plan of recovery described in this book. Convincing testimony must surely come from medical men who have had experience with the sufferings of our members and have witnessed our return to health. A well-known doctor, chief physician at a nationally prominent hospital specializing in alcoholic and drug addiction, gave Alcoholics Anonymous this letter:
To Whom It May Concern:
I have specialized in the treatment of alcoholism for many years.
In late 1934 I attended a patient who, though he had been a competent businessman of good earning capacity, was an alcoholic of a type I had come to regard as hopeless.
In the course of his third treatment he acquired certain ideas concerning a possible means of recovery. As part of his rehabilitation he commenced to present his conceptions to other alcoholics, impressing upon them that they must do likewise with still others. This has become the basis of a rapidly growing fellowship of these men and their families. This man and over one hundred others appear to have recovered.
I personally know scores of cases who were of the type with whom other methods had failed completely.
These facts appear to be of extreme medical importance; because of the extraordinary possibilities of rapid growth inherent in this group they may mark a new epoch in the annals of alcoholism. These men may well have a remedy for thousands of such situations.
You may rely absolutely on anything they say about themselves.
Very truly yours,
William D. Silkworth, M.D.
The physician who, at our request, gave us this letter, has been kind enough to enlarge upon his views in another statement which follows. In this statement he confirms what we who have suffered alcoholic torture must believe-that the body of the alcoholic is quite as abnormal as his mind. It did not satisfy us to be told that we could not control our drinking just because we were maladjusted to life, that we were in full flight from reality, or were outright mental defectives. These things were true to some extent, in fact, to a considerable extent with some of us. But we are sure that our bodies were sickened as well. In our belief, any picture of the alcoholic which leaves out this physical factor is incomplete.
The doctor's theory that we have an allergy to alcohol interests us. As laymen, our opinion as to its soundness may, of course, mean little. But as ex-problem drinkers, we can say that his explanation makes good sense. It explains many things for which we cannot otherwise account.
Though we work out our solution on the spiritual as well as an altruistic plane, we favor hospitalization for the alcoholic who is very jittery or befogged. More often than not, it is imperative that a man's brain be cleared before he is approached, as he has then a better chance of understanding and accepting what we have to offer.
The doctor writes:
The subject presented in this book seems to me to be of paramount importance to those afflicted with alcoholic addiction.
I say this after many years’ experience as Medical Director of one of the oldest hospitals in the country treating alcoholic and drug addiction.
There was, therefore, a sense of real satisfaction when I was asked to contribute a few words on a subject which is covered in such masterly detail in these pages.
We doctors have realized for a long time that some form of moral psychology was of urgent importance to alcoholics, but its application presented difficulties beyond our conception. What with our ultra-modern standards, our scientific approach to everything, we are perhaps not well equipped to apply the powers of good that lie outside our synthetic knowledge.
Many years ago one of the leading contributors to this book came under our care in this hospital and while here he acquired some ideas which he put into practical application at once.
Later, he requested the privilege of being allowed to tell his story to other patients here and with some misgiving, we consented. The cases we have followed through have been most interesting; in fact, many of them are amazing. The unselfishness of these men as we have come to know them, the entire absence of profit motive, and their community spirit, is indeed inspiring to one who has labored long and wearily in this alcoholic field. They believe in themselves, and still more in the Power which pulls chronic alcoholics back from the gates of death.
Of course an alcoholic ought to be freed from his physical craving for liquor, and this often requires a definite hospital procedure, before psychological measures can be of maximum benefit.
We believe, and so suggested a few years ago, that the action of alcohol on these chronic alcoholics is a manifestation of an allergy; that the phenomenon of craving is limited to this class and never occurs in the average temperate drinker. These allergic types can never safely use alcohol in any form at all; and once having formed the habit and found they cannot break it, once having lost their self-confidence, their reliance upon things human, their problems pile up on them and become astonishingly difficult to solve.
Frothy emotional appeal seldom suffices. The message which can interest and hold these alcoholic people must have depth and weight. In nearly all cases, their ideals must be grounded in a power greater than themselves, if they are to re-create their lives.
If any feel that as psychiatrists directing a hospital for alcoholics we appear somewhat sentimental, let them stand with us a while on the firing line, see the tragedies, the despairing wives, the little children; let the solving of these problems become a part of their daily work, and even of their sleeping moments, and the most cynical will not wonder that we have accepted and encouraged this movement. We feel, after many years of experience, that we have found nothing which has contributed more to the rehabilitation of these men than the altruistic movement now growing up among them.
Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks-drinks which they see others taking with impunity. After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do, and the phenomenon of craving develops, they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again. This is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is very little hope of his recovery.
On the other hand-and strange as this may seem to those who do not understand-once a psychic change has occurred, the very same person who seemed doomed, who had so many problems he despaired of ever solving them, suddenly finds himself easily able to control his desire for alcohol, the only effort necessary being that required to follow a few simple rules.
Men have cried out to me in sincere and despairing appeal: "Doctor, I cannot go on like this! I have everything to live for! I must stop, but I cannot! You must help me!"
Faced with this problem, if a doctor is honest with himself, he must sometimes feel his own inadequacy. Although he gives all that is in him, it often is not enough. One feels that something more than human power is needed to produce the essential psychic change. Though the aggregate of recoveries resulting from psychiatric effort is considerable, we physicians must admit we have made little impression upon the problem as a whole. Many types do not respond to the ordinary psychological approach.
I do not hold with those who believe that alcoholism is entirely a problem of mental control. I have had many men who had, for example, worked a period of months on some problem or business deal which was to be settled on a certain date, favorably to them. They took a drink a day or so prior to the date, and then the phenomenon of craving at once became paramount to all other interests so that the important appointment was not met. These men were not drinking to escape; they were drinking to overcome a craving beyond their mental control.
There are many situations which arise out of the phenomenon of craving which cause men to make the supreme sacrifice rather than continue to fight.
The classification of alcoholics seems most difficult, and in much detail is outside the scope of this book. There are, of course, the psychopaths who are emotionally unstable. We are all familiar with this type. They are always "going on the wagon for keeps." They are over-remorseful and make many resolutions, but never a decision.
There is the type of man who is unwilling to admit that he cannot take a drink. He plans various ways of drinking. He changes his brand or his environment. There is the type who always believes that after being entirely free from alcohol for a period of time he can take a drink without danger. There is the manic-depressive type, who is, perhaps, the least understood by his friends, and about whom a whole chapter could be written.
Then there are types entirely normal in every respect except in the effect alcohol has upon them. They are often able, intelligent, friendly people.
All these, and many others, have one symptom in common: they cannot start drinking without developing the phenomenon of craving. This phenomenon, as we have suggested, may be the manifestation of an allergy which differentiates these people, and sets them apart as a distinct entity. It has never been, by any treatment with which we are familiar, permanently eradicated. The only relief we have to suggest is entire abstinence.
This immediately precipitates us into a seething caldron of debate. Much has been written pro and con, but among physicians, the general opinion seems to be that most chronic alcoholics are doomed.
What is the solution? Perhaps I can best answer this by relating one of my experiences.
About one year prior to this experience a man was brought in to be treated for chronic alcoholism. He had but partially recovered from a gastric hemorrhage and seemed to be a case of pathological mental deterioration. He had lost everything worthwhile in life and was only living, one might say, to drink. He frankly admitted and believed that for him there was no hope. Following the elimination of alcohol, there was found to be no permanent brain injury. He accepted the plan outlined in this book. One year later he called to see me, and I experienced a very strange sensation. I knew the man by name, and partly recognized his features, but there all resemblance ended. From a trembling, despairing, nervous wreck, had emerged a man brimming over with self-reliance and contentment. I talked with him for some time, but was not able to bring myself to feel that I had known him before. To me he was a stranger, and so he left me. A long time has passed with no return to alcohol.
When I need a mental uplift, I often think of another case brought in by a physician prominent in New York. The patient had made his own diagnosis, and deciding his situation hopeless, had hidden in a deserted barn determined to die. He was rescued by a searching party, and, in desperate condition, brought to me. Following his physical rehabilitation, he had a talk with me in which he frankly stated he thought the treatment a waste of effort, unless I could assure him, which no one ever had, that in the future he would have the "will power" to resist the impulse to drink.
His alcoholic problem was so complex, and his depression so great, that we felt his only hope would be through what we then called "moral psychology," and we doubted if even that would have any effect.
However, he did become "sold" on the ideas contained in this book. He has not had a drink for a great many years. I see him now and then and he is as fine a specimen of manhood as one could wish to meet.
I earnestly advise every alcoholic to read this book through, and though perhaps he came to scoff, he may remain to pray.
William D. Silkworth, M.D.
WE OF Alcoholics Anonymous believe that the reader will be interested in the medical estimate of the plan of recovery described in this book. Convincing testimony must surely come from medical men who have had experience with the sufferings of our members and have witnessed our return to health. A well-known doctor, chief physician at a nationally prominent hospital specializing in alcoholic and drug addiction, gave Alcoholics Anonymous this letter:
To Whom It May Concern:
I have specialized in the treatment of alcoholism for many years.
In late 1934 I attended a patient who, though he had been a competent businessman of good earning capacity, was an alcoholic of a type I had come to regard as hopeless.
In the course of his third treatment he acquired certain ideas concerning a possible means of recovery. As part of his rehabilitation he commenced to present his conceptions to other alcoholics, impressing upon them that they must do likewise with still others. This has become the basis of a rapidly growing fellowship of these men and their families. This man and over one hundred others appear to have recovered.
I personally know scores of cases who were of the type with whom other methods had failed completely.
These facts appear to be of extreme medical importance; because of the extraordinary possibilities of rapid growth inherent in this group they may mark a new epoch in the annals of alcoholism. These men may well have a remedy for thousands of such situations.
You may rely absolutely on anything they say about themselves.
Very truly yours,
William D. Silkworth, M.D.
The physician who, at our request, gave us this letter, has been kind enough to enlarge upon his views in another statement which follows. In this statement he confirms what we who have suffered alcoholic torture must believe-that the body of the alcoholic is quite as abnormal as his mind. It did not satisfy us to be told that we could not control our drinking just because we were maladjusted to life, that we were in full flight from reality, or were outright mental defectives. These things were true to some extent, in fact, to a considerable extent with some of us. But we are sure that our bodies were sickened as well. In our belief, any picture of the alcoholic which leaves out this physical factor is incomplete.
The doctor's theory that we have an allergy to alcohol interests us. As laymen, our opinion as to its soundness may, of course, mean little. But as ex-problem drinkers, we can say that his explanation makes good sense. It explains many things for which we cannot otherwise account.
Though we work out our solution on the spiritual as well as an altruistic plane, we favor hospitalization for the alcoholic who is very jittery or befogged. More often than not, it is imperative that a man's brain be cleared before he is approached, as he has then a better chance of understanding and accepting what we have to offer.
The doctor writes:
The subject presented in this book seems to me to be of paramount importance to those afflicted with alcoholic addiction.
I say this after many years’ experience as Medical Director of one of the oldest hospitals in the country treating alcoholic and drug addiction.
There was, therefore, a sense of real satisfaction when I was asked to contribute a few words on a subject which is covered in such masterly detail in these pages.
We doctors have realized for a long time that some form of moral psychology was of urgent importance to alcoholics, but its application presented difficulties beyond our conception. What with our ultra-modern standards, our scientific approach to everything, we are perhaps not well equipped to apply the powers of good that lie outside our synthetic knowledge.
Many years ago one of the leading contributors to this book came under our care in this hospital and while here he acquired some ideas which he put into practical application at once.
Later, he requested the privilege of being allowed to tell his story to other patients here and with some misgiving, we consented. The cases we have followed through have been most interesting; in fact, many of them are amazing. The unselfishness of these men as we have come to know them, the entire absence of profit motive, and their community spirit, is indeed inspiring to one who has labored long and wearily in this alcoholic field. They believe in themselves, and still more in the Power which pulls chronic alcoholics back from the gates of death.
Of course an alcoholic ought to be freed from his physical craving for liquor, and this often requires a definite hospital procedure, before psychological measures can be of maximum benefit.
We believe, and so suggested a few years ago, that the action of alcohol on these chronic alcoholics is a manifestation of an allergy; that the phenomenon of craving is limited to this class and never occurs in the average temperate drinker. These allergic types can never safely use alcohol in any form at all; and once having formed the habit and found they cannot break it, once having lost their self-confidence, their reliance upon things human, their problems pile up on them and become astonishingly difficult to solve.
Frothy emotional appeal seldom suffices. The message which can interest and hold these alcoholic people must have depth and weight. In nearly all cases, their ideals must be grounded in a power greater than themselves, if they are to re-create their lives.
If any feel that as psychiatrists directing a hospital for alcoholics we appear somewhat sentimental, let them stand with us a while on the firing line, see the tragedies, the despairing wives, the little children; let the solving of these problems become a part of their daily work, and even of their sleeping moments, and the most cynical will not wonder that we have accepted and encouraged this movement. We feel, after many years of experience, that we have found nothing which has contributed more to the rehabilitation of these men than the altruistic movement now growing up among them.
Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks-drinks which they see others taking with impunity. After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do, and the phenomenon of craving develops, they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again. This is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is very little hope of his recovery.
On the other hand-and strange as this may seem to those who do not understand-once a psychic change has occurred, the very same person who seemed doomed, who had so many problems he despaired of ever solving them, suddenly finds himself easily able to control his desire for alcohol, the only effort necessary being that required to follow a few simple rules.
Men have cried out to me in sincere and despairing appeal: "Doctor, I cannot go on like this! I have everything to live for! I must stop, but I cannot! You must help me!"
Faced with this problem, if a doctor is honest with himself, he must sometimes feel his own inadequacy. Although he gives all that is in him, it often is not enough. One feels that something more than human power is needed to produce the essential psychic change. Though the aggregate of recoveries resulting from psychiatric effort is considerable, we physicians must admit we have made little impression upon the problem as a whole. Many types do not respond to the ordinary psychological approach.
I do not hold with those who believe that alcoholism is entirely a problem of mental control. I have had many men who had, for example, worked a period of months on some problem or business deal which was to be settled on a certain date, favorably to them. They took a drink a day or so prior to the date, and then the phenomenon of craving at once became paramount to all other interests so that the important appointment was not met. These men were not drinking to escape; they were drinking to overcome a craving beyond their mental control.
There are many situations which arise out of the phenomenon of craving which cause men to make the supreme sacrifice rather than continue to fight.
The classification of alcoholics seems most difficult, and in much detail is outside the scope of this book. There are, of course, the psychopaths who are emotionally unstable. We are all familiar with this type. They are always "going on the wagon for keeps." They are over-remorseful and make many resolutions, but never a decision.
There is the type of man who is unwilling to admit that he cannot take a drink. He plans various ways of drinking. He changes his brand or his environment. There is the type who always believes that after being entirely free from alcohol for a period of time he can take a drink without danger. There is the manic-depressive type, who is, perhaps, the least understood by his friends, and about whom a whole chapter could be written.
Then there are types entirely normal in every respect except in the effect alcohol has upon them. They are often able, intelligent, friendly people.
All these, and many others, have one symptom in common: they cannot start drinking without developing the phenomenon of craving. This phenomenon, as we have suggested, may be the manifestation of an allergy which differentiates these people, and sets them apart as a distinct entity. It has never been, by any treatment with which we are familiar, permanently eradicated. The only relief we have to suggest is entire abstinence.
This immediately precipitates us into a seething caldron of debate. Much has been written pro and con, but among physicians, the general opinion seems to be that most chronic alcoholics are doomed.
What is the solution? Perhaps I can best answer this by relating one of my experiences.
About one year prior to this experience a man was brought in to be treated for chronic alcoholism. He had but partially recovered from a gastric hemorrhage and seemed to be a case of pathological mental deterioration. He had lost everything worthwhile in life and was only living, one might say, to drink. He frankly admitted and believed that for him there was no hope. Following the elimination of alcohol, there was found to be no permanent brain injury. He accepted the plan outlined in this book. One year later he called to see me, and I experienced a very strange sensation. I knew the man by name, and partly recognized his features, but there all resemblance ended. From a trembling, despairing, nervous wreck, had emerged a man brimming over with self-reliance and contentment. I talked with him for some time, but was not able to bring myself to feel that I had known him before. To me he was a stranger, and so he left me. A long time has passed with no return to alcohol.
When I need a mental uplift, I often think of another case brought in by a physician prominent in New York. The patient had made his own diagnosis, and deciding his situation hopeless, had hidden in a deserted barn determined to die. He was rescued by a searching party, and, in desperate condition, brought to me. Following his physical rehabilitation, he had a talk with me in which he frankly stated he thought the treatment a waste of effort, unless I could assure him, which no one ever had, that in the future he would have the "will power" to resist the impulse to drink.
His alcoholic problem was so complex, and his depression so great, that we felt his only hope would be through what we then called "moral psychology," and we doubted if even that would have any effect.
However, he did become "sold" on the ideas contained in this book. He has not had a drink for a great many years. I see him now and then and he is as fine a specimen of manhood as one could wish to meet.
I earnestly advise every alcoholic to read this book through, and though perhaps he came to scoff, he may remain to pray.
William D. Silkworth, M.D.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Greenfield, MA
Posts: 62
phenomenon of craving
All these, and many others, have one symptom in common: they cannot start drinking without developing the phenomenon of craving. This phenomenon, as we have suggested, may be the manifestation of an allergy which differentiates these people, and sets them apart as a distinct entity. It has never been, by any treatment with which we are familiar, permanently eradicated. The only relief we have to suggest is entire abstinence.
one day at a time
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: UK
Posts: 44
Originally Posted by KEEGANSDAD
All these, and many others, have one symptom in common: they cannot start drinking without developing the phenomenon of craving. This phenomenon, as we have suggested, may be the manifestation of an allergy which differentiates these people, and sets them apart as a distinct entity. It has never been, by any treatment with which we are familiar, permanently eradicated. The only relief we have to suggest is entire abstinence.
one day at a time
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: UK
Posts: 44
I have been attending AA and it was going really well for a while. Then I started questioning things, and got my diagnosis of depression & sorted out the meds. The last few meetings I've been to, all I can think about is, I don't believe that alcohol will kill me, but I do believe depression could and therefore that's the illness I have to deal with. If not drinking again is part of that, then so be it. Kind of like, if you were diagnosed diabetic and knew that eating sugary foods actually could kill you outright, you wouldn't do it, right? That's how I feel about booze. Just wondering if I stand any chance of just quitting. I guess 'wait and see' and get back to a meeting before picking up a drink, if I should decide to try it again.
Not all better, getting better
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: The Beautiful Inner Banks of NC
Posts: 1,702
You might want to check out SMART Recovery http://smartrecovery.org or Rational Recovery http://rational.org. RR does not use groups at all and they are optional with SMART. Hope this helps.
Knucklehead
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Davenport, WA
Posts: 4,005
Hi Lucy,
I know people who have made a decision to quit, stuck with it, and have been sober for quite some time. For myself, I need a bit more, because when I'm really frustrated, my first impulse is to say "sod it", I'm gonna have a few drinks or smoke pot to take it away. Of course, I don't have the threat of immediate death or insanity looming over me, although I know that if I continue to drink long enough, I stand a good chance of experiencing these things. Rational Recovery works on the idea that you make a decision to NEVER drink again. Of course, it also provides a method of keeping one's self from changing one's mind by learning to recognize the addictive voice and basically telling it to shut the bleep up. My opinion is that if you are OK with not drinking for the reasons you stated and that works for you, then that's that. However, if in the future it doesn't keep you from drinking, you know there are other methods and support groups you can use. Only time will tell.
Doorknob
I know people who have made a decision to quit, stuck with it, and have been sober for quite some time. For myself, I need a bit more, because when I'm really frustrated, my first impulse is to say "sod it", I'm gonna have a few drinks or smoke pot to take it away. Of course, I don't have the threat of immediate death or insanity looming over me, although I know that if I continue to drink long enough, I stand a good chance of experiencing these things. Rational Recovery works on the idea that you make a decision to NEVER drink again. Of course, it also provides a method of keeping one's self from changing one's mind by learning to recognize the addictive voice and basically telling it to shut the bleep up. My opinion is that if you are OK with not drinking for the reasons you stated and that works for you, then that's that. However, if in the future it doesn't keep you from drinking, you know there are other methods and support groups you can use. Only time will tell.
Doorknob
Choosing Life
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: London
Posts: 889
Hi Lucy
To be honest - if I could have "just quit" I would have done it years ago - I mean years ago when I first realised that I needed to stop drinking. I wouldn't be in AA. I wouldn't be here discussing it. I would have just quit.
much love
JC
To be honest - if I could have "just quit" I would have done it years ago - I mean years ago when I first realised that I needed to stop drinking. I wouldn't be in AA. I wouldn't be here discussing it. I would have just quit.
much love
JC
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Hi Lucy
I too was diagnosed with depression andd given meds when I was drinking. After 3 months sober my situational depression lifted. No more meds needed and my depression has never returned. Stay sober 6 months and see your doctir for re-elvaluation.
About meetings..sure some find recovery w/o them. Give it a go...
Meetings are vital to me..a classroom for a better sober way of living. And that is where my friends hang out!
About meetings..sure some find recovery w/o them. Give it a go...
Meetings are vital to me..a classroom for a better sober way of living. And that is where my friends hang out!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Niceville FL
Posts: 54
I educated myself by reading several books on the subject. No support groups. "Rational Recovery" helped me the most. I've been sober for 4 1/2 months now. And today, I still have no desire to touch alcohol again.
Bookie12
Bookie12
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 1,432
Hi, Lucy,
People who quit drinking successfully have come to a belief that the cost of drinking outweighs any benefits, and have decided that abstinence is easier than trying to drink moderately. They may have tried drinking moderately and found it difficult to do so. Or they may simply find that being sober is rewarding enough in itself.
The majority of people who quit smoking and quit drinking do so without using any specific treatment or recovery program. Recovery groups may help provide reinforcement for their decision. Listening to the stories of others can remind us of the hazards of drinking. Learning tools for avoiding drinking situations and beating urges can help us when specific situations come up where we are tempted. You can develop a new range of social activities with other sober people, which may help you avoid drinking situations. As Carol said, But I think the most important thing that will help you stay sober is that you've seen the link between your depression and your drinking. You've come to a new belief about alcohol: that it will hinder your ability to manage your depression, and may lead to harmful behavior.
That's the key belief. You describe it as a 'single compelling reason'. As long as you remind yourself of it whenever you're tempted to drink, that reason can sustain you.
Don S
People who quit drinking successfully have come to a belief that the cost of drinking outweighs any benefits, and have decided that abstinence is easier than trying to drink moderately. They may have tried drinking moderately and found it difficult to do so. Or they may simply find that being sober is rewarding enough in itself.
The majority of people who quit smoking and quit drinking do so without using any specific treatment or recovery program. Recovery groups may help provide reinforcement for their decision. Listening to the stories of others can remind us of the hazards of drinking. Learning tools for avoiding drinking situations and beating urges can help us when specific situations come up where we are tempted. You can develop a new range of social activities with other sober people, which may help you avoid drinking situations. As Carol said,
a classroom for a better sober way of living. And that is where my friends hang out!
I don't believe that alcohol will kill me, but I do believe depression could and therefore that's the illness I have to deal with.
Don S
one day at a time
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: UK
Posts: 44
Originally Posted by CarolD
I too was diagnosed with depression andd given meds when I was drinking. After 3 months sober my situational depression lifted. No more meds needed and my depression has never returned. Stay sober 6 months and see your doctir for re-elvaluation.
Thanks for your comments. I was actually diagnosed w/depression (PMDD) when I'd been sober 3 months and unfortunately it's not situational but hormonal and will be with me until the menopause
My doctor has already said I'll probably stay on anti-dep. until then... but hey, at least they *do* work for me!I'm so glad your depression lifted
one day at a time
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: UK
Posts: 44
Don, thank you for your reply.
The wierd thing is, since I realised the direct link between alcohol and my meds not working, I have lost interest totally in alcohol. It's like it doesn't exist, and I haven't been tempted. I've thought of it (because it's been in my life for years) but just dismiss the thought in the next second as something I can't do. Suddenly all the things I used to think were no fun if you weren't drinking, have become, well I can make it as fun as I want to without booze because if I drink my meds stop working. But unlike an evening where as designated driver, say, one couldn't drink, this is a choice - albeit an easy one - so I don't feel I'm missing anything.
Totally! I would equate it to nut-allergy sufferers (I have a friend IRL with this) who know they simply can't eat nuts in any form or it will seriously harm them, possibly kill them outright. It just doesn't occur to them to do it. It's like, I'm not giving it up because it's bad for me per se, but because of another reason. Of course it's a choice but it doesn't feel like a choice (again, same for allergy sufferers).
Originally Posted by Don S
Learning tools for avoiding drinking situations and beating urges can help us when specific situations come up where we are tempted. You can develop a new range of social activities with other sober people, which may help you avoid drinking situations.
Originally Posted by Don S
But I think the most important thing that will help you stay sober is that you've seen the link between your depression and your drinking. You've come to a new belief about alcohol: that it will hinder your ability to manage your depression, and may lead to harmful behavior.
We all need each other.
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: The road of happy destiny.
Posts: 2,294
Hey Lucy--
Sure!!! I quit literally thousands of times without the help of a support group. For me, though, it was not enough just to have a compelling reason. And I had plenty of those--not the least of which was being diagnosed with liver cancer when I was five months pregnant and having a fourteen-pound tumor the size of a soccer ball removed 3 weeks later. I quit for about six months that time (not including the time when I wasn't drinking because I was pregnant.) But even that was not enough. However, although I can not think of anyone I know personally, I am certain that there are people who can quit. You might be one of them! Hang in there!
Sure!!! I quit literally thousands of times without the help of a support group. For me, though, it was not enough just to have a compelling reason. And I had plenty of those--not the least of which was being diagnosed with liver cancer when I was five months pregnant and having a fourteen-pound tumor the size of a soccer ball removed 3 weeks later. I quit for about six months that time (not including the time when I wasn't drinking because I was pregnant.) But even that was not enough. However, although I can not think of anyone I know personally, I am certain that there are people who can quit. You might be one of them! Hang in there!
Last edited by lulu70; 04-21-2005 at 08:33 AM. Reason: oops.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: England
Posts: 108
Hi Lucy,
Yeah, after years of struggle, AA etc I have just quit ( almost 60 days), but I thought I was really going to die , so thats pretty compelling! Today I have no desire to drink or to use any of the excellent support programmes available . I am happy and content just being alive, but I believe I saw the "big picture" and decided that I preferred life, to booze and that booze was simply too painful. I dont know if this is forever, I hope so, but I am simply glad for each day.
I guess those who quit must actually find a new path, or else we simply grit our teeth on the old one. That path may be one of discovery and self help/ group support such as AA, Smart , religion or whatever, I dont believe that there is a single solution. The only thing I now believe for sure is for me to succeed I have to make a concious decision to change my life, the way I live it, relate to others and the world around me, that wont make me perfect but it helps me accept my imperfections. ( of which there are many!!).
I would really hang on to your feelings towards booze, it gives you time to figure the rest out. And if you are happy with where you are re booze then that has to be a great starting point.
Wish you luck
Pete
Yeah, after years of struggle, AA etc I have just quit ( almost 60 days), but I thought I was really going to die , so thats pretty compelling! Today I have no desire to drink or to use any of the excellent support programmes available . I am happy and content just being alive, but I believe I saw the "big picture" and decided that I preferred life, to booze and that booze was simply too painful. I dont know if this is forever, I hope so, but I am simply glad for each day.
I guess those who quit must actually find a new path, or else we simply grit our teeth on the old one. That path may be one of discovery and self help/ group support such as AA, Smart , religion or whatever, I dont believe that there is a single solution. The only thing I now believe for sure is for me to succeed I have to make a concious decision to change my life, the way I live it, relate to others and the world around me, that wont make me perfect but it helps me accept my imperfections. ( of which there are many!!).
I would really hang on to your feelings towards booze, it gives you time to figure the rest out. And if you are happy with where you are re booze then that has to be a great starting point.
Wish you luck
Pete
Michael
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: London England
Posts: 291
Lucy,
To answer your question, I am off the booze and I don't do group therapy. I quit drinking because I am an alcoholic and I can not control my drinking.
When I first quit about fifteen years ago I found that attending AA meetings was counterproductive for me. For a start I have no god and no higher power no matter what the semantics. Secondly and of more importance hearing other people's horror stories only served to convince me that I was not addicted to alcohol. Well I couldn't be if I wasn't drinking at least two bottles of vodka a day could I?
Fifteen years back on the booze and I slowly and painfully came to the inevitable conclusion that I was addicted and I admitted my addiction to my family. I promised to stop drinking (a promise I have kept) and I promised to go to AA (a promise I have not kept). I ran into exactly the same problems again. I went to AA for about nine weeks but decided to cut and run. I have found that rational recovery (AVRT) works well for me and I now have no desire for alcohol.
Today my wife and I went on a day out to Portsmouth and had lunch in a very nice Spanish tapas bar on the harbour. My wife had wine and so did most of our fellow customers. That had absolutely no effect on me. It is only now that I am writing that it has occurred to me.
You can give up without a support group, but it is very therapeutic to have sites such as this where you can post queries and give and take advice as you feel the need. I get a great deal from this site and I am sure that you will too.
I have to say, and will always say that AA does a great job for a huge number of people, it simply is not for me. By all means try it and see if it works for you, if it does, hallelujah, if it doesn't try rational recovery.
Very best wishes
Michael
To answer your question, I am off the booze and I don't do group therapy. I quit drinking because I am an alcoholic and I can not control my drinking.
When I first quit about fifteen years ago I found that attending AA meetings was counterproductive for me. For a start I have no god and no higher power no matter what the semantics. Secondly and of more importance hearing other people's horror stories only served to convince me that I was not addicted to alcohol. Well I couldn't be if I wasn't drinking at least two bottles of vodka a day could I?
Fifteen years back on the booze and I slowly and painfully came to the inevitable conclusion that I was addicted and I admitted my addiction to my family. I promised to stop drinking (a promise I have kept) and I promised to go to AA (a promise I have not kept). I ran into exactly the same problems again. I went to AA for about nine weeks but decided to cut and run. I have found that rational recovery (AVRT) works well for me and I now have no desire for alcohol.
Today my wife and I went on a day out to Portsmouth and had lunch in a very nice Spanish tapas bar on the harbour. My wife had wine and so did most of our fellow customers. That had absolutely no effect on me. It is only now that I am writing that it has occurred to me.
You can give up without a support group, but it is very therapeutic to have sites such as this where you can post queries and give and take advice as you feel the need. I get a great deal from this site and I am sure that you will too.
I have to say, and will always say that AA does a great job for a huge number of people, it simply is not for me. By all means try it and see if it works for you, if it does, hallelujah, if it doesn't try rational recovery.
Very best wishes
Michael
old enough to know BETTER!!!!!
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: NY, NY
Posts: 396
new to this .... just found site by accident!
Maybe this is a sign from a higher power .... finding this site by sheer accident.
I am so very new to this. Just *FINALLY* admitted to myself that I am a substanc abuser. Still hard to accept without tears filling in my eyes. I just have NO IDEA how I got here. The last three years seem like a blur and I just feel like it's ALL been a BAD DREAM!
I'm SCARED TO DEATH!
I was all set to sign myself into a rehab program, but as in the past, my other priorities kept me from it .... caring for two teenage girls.
I also did NOT want to go because of the stigma it causes and fearful of what it might do to my girls. You know, if a friend asks them where their mother is. How would it sound that "Mom is in REHAB!"
Is it common to feel like one's memory has disappeared. Maybe I didn't say that right. Is it one of the symptoms of withdrawal to all of a sudden have a BAD MEMORY or is it that we try to suppress the past and JUST DON'T WANT to accept our past and suppress all the BAD experiences. I'm rambling. I'm SCARED.
Thanks for listening, reading. As I said, I'm new and just reading some of the entries makes me feel like I'm not ALONE ...... although I feel as if I AM most of the time.
Maria
I am so very new to this. Just *FINALLY* admitted to myself that I am a substanc abuser. Still hard to accept without tears filling in my eyes. I just have NO IDEA how I got here. The last three years seem like a blur and I just feel like it's ALL been a BAD DREAM!
I'm SCARED TO DEATH!
I was all set to sign myself into a rehab program, but as in the past, my other priorities kept me from it .... caring for two teenage girls.
I also did NOT want to go because of the stigma it causes and fearful of what it might do to my girls. You know, if a friend asks them where their mother is. How would it sound that "Mom is in REHAB!"
Is it common to feel like one's memory has disappeared. Maybe I didn't say that right. Is it one of the symptoms of withdrawal to all of a sudden have a BAD MEMORY or is it that we try to suppress the past and JUST DON'T WANT to accept our past and suppress all the BAD experiences. I'm rambling. I'm SCARED.
Thanks for listening, reading. As I said, I'm new and just reading some of the entries makes me feel like I'm not ALONE ...... although I feel as if I AM most of the time.
Maria
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Hi findingme
I am so pleased you are here...we do understand.Yes confusion can happen in early sobriety. I had to list my daily work outfit so as not to repeat! And shopping at the market...I came home with the oddest things...no milk but Marinated Mushrooms!
This went on for several weeks. It will cease.
Please let us know how we can help..Welcome Again!
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