I Am your Disease....
Putting it all together
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: St. Louis, MO.
Posts: 469
I Am your Disease....
I hate meetings. I am the disease of addiction. I hate everyone who has a program. To all who come in contact with me, I wish you death and I wish you suffering.
Allow me to introduce myself. I am the disease of adddicton. Cunning, Baffling, and very powerful; that's me.I have killed millions, and I am pleased. I love to catch you with the element of surprise. I love pretending I am your freind and lover. I have given you comfort, have I not? I was THERE. I love to make you hurt. I love to make you cry. Better yet, I love when I make you so numb you can do neither. You can't feel anything at all. This is true glory for me. I will give you instant gratification and all I ask of you is long-term suffering. I have been there for you always. When things were not going right in yur life, you invited me. You said you did not deserve these good things, and I was the only one that would agree with you. Together we were able to destroty all things good in your life.
People do not take me seriously. They take strokes, heart attacts, even diabetes seriously. Fools that they are, they don't know that without my help, these things would not be made possible.
I am such a hated disease and yet I do not come uninvited. YOU choose to have me. So many have chosen me over reality and peace.
More than you hate me; I hate all of you who have a 12 step program. Your program, your meetings, your higher powers. They all weaken me and I cannot function in the manner I am acccustomed to.
Now, I must lie here quietly. You do not see me, but I am growing bigger than ever. When you only exist, I may live...when you live, I only exist. BUT I am here-And until we meet again, if we meet again..I wish you death and suffering.
I personally think this says a lot......kahlia......happy Wednesday to all....PEACE
Allow me to introduce myself. I am the disease of adddicton. Cunning, Baffling, and very powerful; that's me.I have killed millions, and I am pleased. I love to catch you with the element of surprise. I love pretending I am your freind and lover. I have given you comfort, have I not? I was THERE. I love to make you hurt. I love to make you cry. Better yet, I love when I make you so numb you can do neither. You can't feel anything at all. This is true glory for me. I will give you instant gratification and all I ask of you is long-term suffering. I have been there for you always. When things were not going right in yur life, you invited me. You said you did not deserve these good things, and I was the only one that would agree with you. Together we were able to destroty all things good in your life.
People do not take me seriously. They take strokes, heart attacts, even diabetes seriously. Fools that they are, they don't know that without my help, these things would not be made possible.
I am such a hated disease and yet I do not come uninvited. YOU choose to have me. So many have chosen me over reality and peace.
More than you hate me; I hate all of you who have a 12 step program. Your program, your meetings, your higher powers. They all weaken me and I cannot function in the manner I am acccustomed to.
Now, I must lie here quietly. You do not see me, but I am growing bigger than ever. When you only exist, I may live...when you live, I only exist. BUT I am here-And until we meet again, if we meet again..I wish you death and suffering.
I personally think this says a lot......kahlia......happy Wednesday to all....PEACE
Loving Life and LVNitUP!
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Currently out of my mind
Posts: 23
WOW!!!!!!!
I have written something very similar years ago....not quite as well, I might add.
It was more of a letter to my addiction (alcohol) how I have felt was a friend but realized was the enemy. However, my writtings did not seem to 'wake' me up, I guess I was not ready.
This one really hit home!! This is my 6th day of sobriety and I really am doing good so far. Thanks for reminding me the reality of the disease!
I think I will print it out....if that's ok...are we allowed to do that here?
I have written something very similar years ago....not quite as well, I might add.
It was more of a letter to my addiction (alcohol) how I have felt was a friend but realized was the enemy. However, my writtings did not seem to 'wake' me up, I guess I was not ready.
This one really hit home!! This is my 6th day of sobriety and I really am doing good so far. Thanks for reminding me the reality of the disease!
I think I will print it out....if that's ok...are we allowed to do that here?
old enough to know BETTER!!!!!
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: NY, NY
Posts: 396
I will give you instant gratification and all I ask of you is long-term suffering.
Originally Posted by Kahlia
all who come in contact with me, I wish you death and I wish you suffering.
Originally Posted by Kahlia
I love pretending I am your freind and lover. I have given you comfort, have I not? I was THERE. I love to make you hurt. I love to make you cry. Better yet, I love when I make you so numb you can do neither. You can't feel anything at all. This is true glory for me. I will give you instant gratification and all I ask of you is long-term suffering.
I am such a hated disease and yet I do not come uninvited. YOU choose to have me. So many have chosen me over reality and peace.
My GOD .... if this doesn't hit home! Our addictions do sneak up on us, without us realizing it! Scarey, very SCAREY!
I suppose being SCARED is a good thing, really! Before now I wasn't even able to be frightened ..... too busy with instant gratification and too numb to realize this ain't what life is REALLY about !
That is EXACTLY what our addictions are .... pain and suffering! Why does it take us so LONG to realize it?
Thank you for posting this. As horrible and frightened as it made me feel ..... it's time to *FACE* reality!
Maria
Putting it all together
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: St. Louis, MO.
Posts: 469
Originally Posted by findingme
My GOD .... if this doesn't hit home! Our addictions do sneak up on us, without us realizing it! Scarey, very SCAREY!
I suppose being SCARED is a good thing, really! Before now I wasn't even able to be frightened ..... too busy with instant gratification and too numb to realize this ain't what life is REALLY about !
That is EXACTLY what our addictions are .... pain and suffering! Why does it take us so LONG to realize it?
Thank you for posting this. As horrible and frightened as it made me feel ..... it's time to *FACE* reality!
Maria
old enough to know BETTER!!!!!
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: NY, NY
Posts: 396
Thank you Kahlia ....
I agree, being THIS scared has kept me clean. In over 3 years I don't think I was EVER this scared! Too numb from alcohol and drugs to feel anything .... not love, not compassion, not embarassment, not what my addictions were doing to others, not even FRIGHT!
I used to drink and claim it was my way of WALLOWING IN SELF-PITY! COWARD .... time to stop and face reality!
Peace to you as well. Thank you for your post! I believe I want to STAY scared as well!
Much love,
Maria
I agree, being THIS scared has kept me clean. In over 3 years I don't think I was EVER this scared! Too numb from alcohol and drugs to feel anything .... not love, not compassion, not embarassment, not what my addictions were doing to others, not even FRIGHT!
I used to drink and claim it was my way of WALLOWING IN SELF-PITY! COWARD .... time to stop and face reality!
Peace to you as well. Thank you for your post! I believe I want to STAY scared as well!
Much love,
Maria
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Amsterdam, The Netherlands
Posts: 88
Thank you SO much Kahlia!
I'm crying right now...bless me...I'm finally crying.
And dear God do I needed that.
You see, right now I am in mourning over this "friend" you so elequintly described but couldn't cry over my "loss" ...thank you wonderful Kahlia putting this down on (virtual) paper and sharing it with us :hugehug
I'm crying right now...bless me...I'm finally crying.
And dear God do I needed that.
You see, right now I am in mourning over this "friend" you so elequintly described but couldn't cry over my "loss" ...thank you wonderful Kahlia putting this down on (virtual) paper and sharing it with us :hugehug
Putting it all together
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: St. Louis, MO.
Posts: 469
Originally Posted by Nickaddict
Thank you SO much Kahlia!
I'm crying right now...bless me...I'm finally crying.
And dear God do I needed that.
You see, right now I am in mourning over this "friend" you so elequintly described but couldn't cry over my "loss" ...thank you wonderful Kahlia putting this down on (virtual) paper and sharing it with us :hugehug
I'm crying right now...bless me...I'm finally crying.
And dear God do I needed that.
You see, right now I am in mourning over this "friend" you so elequintly described but couldn't cry over my "loss" ...thank you wonderful Kahlia putting this down on (virtual) paper and sharing it with us :hugehug
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