On my third day, and I am feeling miserable.
BikerBill8
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Georgia
Posts: 471
Day three was my worst, too. This is day five, and coming home from work tonight, I realized I didn't even want a drink! It's a miracle! It really is. Now, I'm not saying I will never have another craving, but I am so very grateful I don't have one right now! I feel human again, and honestly, I think I look better, too. I don't have such deep circles under my eyes, or maybe its my imagination, but anyway, I feel so good about this fifth day. I've got to make it to a meeting, so gotta run.
Hugs to all, and I hope you keep going past that store next time, CDR.
Hugs to all, and I hope you keep going past that store next time, CDR.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Orange County, CA
Posts: 69
I ended up going to a meeting tonight. I am trying to find a variety of meetings. I did stop by the store tonight on the way home, but I ended up buying a couple of boxes of Captain Crunch.
1 bite&all resistance crumbles
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: IRELAND
Posts: 2,208
Hi CD
I've found that meetings (like people) are so diverse and different! I'm glad you are looking around - I really hope that you find something that suits you and people that you can really connect with.
That is awesome about the captain crunch!!! WAY TO GO!!!!!
Cathy31
x
I've found that meetings (like people) are so diverse and different! I'm glad you are looking around - I really hope that you find something that suits you and people that you can really connect with.
That is awesome about the captain crunch!!! WAY TO GO!!!!!
Cathy31
x
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Orange County, CA
Posts: 69
Thanks Cathy! I found a gay meeting on Wednsday nights that I really enjoy. I find it easier to share in small meetings. The larger ones can be a little intimidating (I can be quite shy), but they are all good for hearing peoples experiences. I'll tell you though, listening to the stories of what some people go through (i.e. jaundice, D.T.'s, etc), makes me just want to take their word at it being hell, and stop before I get there myself.
Quick question, is it normal after not drinking to have massive sugar and greasy food cravings? For example, I've noticed I love sweet cereal, sweet coffee, and greasy foods.
Quick question, is it normal after not drinking to have massive sugar and greasy food cravings? For example, I've noticed I love sweet cereal, sweet coffee, and greasy foods.
Michael
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: London England
Posts: 291
What's to enjoy
You say you really enjoyed drinking and after three days you are missing it. You need to define enjoyment for me. Were you enjoying nausea, self loathing, waking up and not knowing where you had been or what you had done. Did you enjoy relatives and loved ones giving you the cold shoulder for your enjoyment of alcohol?
Did you enjoy the steady descent into paranoia? Do you really miss not waking up in a police cell, on the floor in a puddle of urine, vomit or worse. Great fun is to be had in alcohol for an alcoholic.
Some people, perhaps the majority of the population can enjoy a drink. Alcoholics, people like me, can not. If I have a drink I know that I will be back to life's basement in double quick time. Alcohol gives me nothing, it only takes away and I am not playing its game any more. You need to look on it as a deadly enemy, it wants to kill you and if you give it half a chance it will. Treat it with contempt, learn to hate it and you will be doing OK. You can't negotiate with it, it doesn't play by the rules.
I feel better having got that off my chest and I hope that it helps you. Do not for a moment think that I am criticising you, my only criticism is reserved for alcohol and what it does to our minds.
Keep sober until you go to sleep and just do the same tomorrow.
Michael
Did you enjoy the steady descent into paranoia? Do you really miss not waking up in a police cell, on the floor in a puddle of urine, vomit or worse. Great fun is to be had in alcohol for an alcoholic.
Some people, perhaps the majority of the population can enjoy a drink. Alcoholics, people like me, can not. If I have a drink I know that I will be back to life's basement in double quick time. Alcohol gives me nothing, it only takes away and I am not playing its game any more. You need to look on it as a deadly enemy, it wants to kill you and if you give it half a chance it will. Treat it with contempt, learn to hate it and you will be doing OK. You can't negotiate with it, it doesn't play by the rules.
I feel better having got that off my chest and I hope that it helps you. Do not for a moment think that I am criticising you, my only criticism is reserved for alcohol and what it does to our minds.
Keep sober until you go to sleep and just do the same tomorrow.
Michael
1 bite&all resistance crumbles
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: IRELAND
Posts: 2,208
Michaelj
Great post - great reminder!
CD, I am so, so glad you found a meeting that works for you! I also prefer the smaller ones, I now have a home group of about 8 people and we are starting to get to know one another and it's really really nice.
I think it's AWESOME that you are being proactive, and not waiting UNTIL (because it WILL happen!) you can also experience the jail, institutions or death (of self or someone at your hand/car!!!) For what!! Let's rather listen, take it in, and know that we are not there....YET! We know what we need to do if we WANT to be able to share in that level of destruction - we just have to keep on drinking and hating ourselves and experiencing all the 'divine' (LOL!) things micheal illustrated above. Like you I am also trying to be proactive - but I've had my fair share of destruction thanks to me and my obsession with alcohol.
Re the sweet & grease thing : totally normal! I believe that our bodies are looking certianly on the sugar side, for the sugar that's missing from that bloody alcohol! (gee, alchol is great, it even turns you into a sugar addict!!! YAY!) so it's just crying out for sugar basically. Also, the greasy stuff might just be you getting your appetite back, and tasting food again and actually feeling 'hungry' normnally, and not as a result of a hangover.
You're doing great CD!! Keep posting!
love
cathy31
x
Great post - great reminder!
CD, I am so, so glad you found a meeting that works for you! I also prefer the smaller ones, I now have a home group of about 8 people and we are starting to get to know one another and it's really really nice.
I think it's AWESOME that you are being proactive, and not waiting UNTIL (because it WILL happen!) you can also experience the jail, institutions or death (of self or someone at your hand/car!!!) For what!! Let's rather listen, take it in, and know that we are not there....YET! We know what we need to do if we WANT to be able to share in that level of destruction - we just have to keep on drinking and hating ourselves and experiencing all the 'divine' (LOL!) things micheal illustrated above. Like you I am also trying to be proactive - but I've had my fair share of destruction thanks to me and my obsession with alcohol.
Re the sweet & grease thing : totally normal! I believe that our bodies are looking certianly on the sugar side, for the sugar that's missing from that bloody alcohol! (gee, alchol is great, it even turns you into a sugar addict!!! YAY!) so it's just crying out for sugar basically. Also, the greasy stuff might just be you getting your appetite back, and tasting food again and actually feeling 'hungry' normnally, and not as a result of a hangover.
You're doing great CD!! Keep posting!
love
cathy31
x
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Northern GA
Posts: 14
Hi CDr55, as several people have said "plan for this", I would make the suggestion that you plan your forth, fifth, and sixth days out exactly. I mean to the hour if you have to. On the third or forth day - whichever for you is your very toughest normally, plan on going to a gym and just walking on a treadmill and watching tv on the overhead monitors. I mean don't run or anything - unless you are up to it, just walk. But do it for a loooong time. This will boost your dopamine, etc. and may help you ease through that tough day. PLUS it gets you out of the house and away from stressors.
My stressors, believe it or not, are my daughters and wife. When I arrive home in the evenings from work they are normally in the midsts of an all out hormonal pissing contest, bickering, yelling, etc. In the past (well 7 days ago .. lol) I sought refuge in a stiff drink within seconds of entering the door. I am now finding other ways to cope such as going to the gym at night for a while just to do some cardio. And tinkering with stuff in my workshop makes me feel like a kid again too.
My stressors, believe it or not, are my daughters and wife. When I arrive home in the evenings from work they are normally in the midsts of an all out hormonal pissing contest, bickering, yelling, etc. In the past (well 7 days ago .. lol) I sought refuge in a stiff drink within seconds of entering the door. I am now finding other ways to cope such as going to the gym at night for a while just to do some cardio. And tinkering with stuff in my workshop makes me feel like a kid again too.
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 1,432
If you're in treatment you might ask your physician if even the small amount of alcohol will conflict with any medication you're taking. Other than that, it's really up to you to decide if it's ok for you.
You aren't going to get drunk on O'Doul's, at 0.05% alcohol it's about 1/100th the alcohol content of regular beer. But drinking is as much a repetitive behavior as it is a physiological thing. It seems to me that drinking something that tastes like beer is just kind of prolonging the behavior, when it might be useful to change your habits entirely--especially when you're first getting sober. It will remind you of the times you enjoyed beer, and that might make it harder to stop the mental association of certain times and activities with alcohol.
So many people avoid NA beer and wine for what you might call psychological reasons. Coming up with a substitute beverage that has some of the benefits--sparkly and refreshing--can help assuage the desire for an alcoholic drink. And it can also help with some of the blood sugar issues you're probably going through. So having been a wine drinker, I found that a mix of cranberry juice and seltzer over ice was nice to sip on in the evening when I'd usually been plowing through a couple of bottles of wine. I find ginger beer or ginger ale, or some similarly spicy soda, to be a good substitute for a beer on a hot afternoon.
Welcome to SR, Amelia!
Don S
You aren't going to get drunk on O'Doul's, at 0.05% alcohol it's about 1/100th the alcohol content of regular beer. But drinking is as much a repetitive behavior as it is a physiological thing. It seems to me that drinking something that tastes like beer is just kind of prolonging the behavior, when it might be useful to change your habits entirely--especially when you're first getting sober. It will remind you of the times you enjoyed beer, and that might make it harder to stop the mental association of certain times and activities with alcohol.
So many people avoid NA beer and wine for what you might call psychological reasons. Coming up with a substitute beverage that has some of the benefits--sparkly and refreshing--can help assuage the desire for an alcoholic drink. And it can also help with some of the blood sugar issues you're probably going through. So having been a wine drinker, I found that a mix of cranberry juice and seltzer over ice was nice to sip on in the evening when I'd usually been plowing through a couple of bottles of wine. I find ginger beer or ginger ale, or some similarly spicy soda, to be a good substitute for a beer on a hot afternoon.
Welcome to SR, Amelia!
Don S
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: FORT WORTH TX
Posts: 4
Don - I see what you mean . I too was a wine drinker. Having the O'Douls in my hand seems to make me more comfortable when others are drinking. It is light and I like the taste. I am glad to know that it won't hurt me physically. I really have not had any bad urges ( medication is helping ). I will try the cranberry drink tonight for sure. After my AA meeting of course ! Thanks so much for getting back to me. I am just starting to get the hang of things and it is all pretty scary .xoxo Amelia
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
CD- Yup sugar craving is normal, I kept a lot of hard candy around as it became predictable for me when they would hit, about the same time as my drinking time. It helped a great deal.
Michael- Welcome to SR and thanks for the post!
Amelia- Varying opinion on NA beer, since beer was my doc it's just to close for comfort, I'd end up drinking a case looking for the effect. It's not a good deal for me, and it does in fact contain alcohol.
Welcome newbies!
Michael- Welcome to SR and thanks for the post!
Amelia- Varying opinion on NA beer, since beer was my doc it's just to close for comfort, I'd end up drinking a case looking for the effect. It's not a good deal for me, and it does in fact contain alcohol.
Welcome newbies!
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 1,432
Hi, Amelia,
One thing common to people who succeed at sobriety in general is that they make some pretty significant changes in their day-to-day lives ('lifestyle changes'). Just stopping drinking but still doing the same things, you are reminded each day of what's 'missing' from the pattern.
So in my case, it was as simple as changing the route I drove home, starting different shopping patterns, going for a walk in our local park/arboretum after work instead of rushing home, going to a bookstore, etc.
Part of it was that I knew the BIG time for me--traditional in our family--was right after work, as soon as we'd walk in the door, the bottles are open and there's a drink going. I think that's true for many people. That first drink was part of the process of decompressing from the day, starting to relax, etc. So it was useful to do something else between work and home that would help with that. I suppose I could have gone to a gym or something, but I'm basically lazy. Spending a little time in our garden was a good way to relax, too. Ten minutes of pulling weeds or grooming my roses (or just taking pictures with the digital camera I bought with the money I wasn't spending on wine) is a great way to de-stress.
Which medication are you using? Just curious.
Take care,
Don S
One thing common to people who succeed at sobriety in general is that they make some pretty significant changes in their day-to-day lives ('lifestyle changes'). Just stopping drinking but still doing the same things, you are reminded each day of what's 'missing' from the pattern.
So in my case, it was as simple as changing the route I drove home, starting different shopping patterns, going for a walk in our local park/arboretum after work instead of rushing home, going to a bookstore, etc.
Part of it was that I knew the BIG time for me--traditional in our family--was right after work, as soon as we'd walk in the door, the bottles are open and there's a drink going. I think that's true for many people. That first drink was part of the process of decompressing from the day, starting to relax, etc. So it was useful to do something else between work and home that would help with that. I suppose I could have gone to a gym or something, but I'm basically lazy. Spending a little time in our garden was a good way to relax, too. Ten minutes of pulling weeds or grooming my roses (or just taking pictures with the digital camera I bought with the money I wasn't spending on wine) is a great way to de-stress.
Which medication are you using? Just curious.
Take care,
Don S
Michael
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: London England
Posts: 291
Sugar, non-alcoholic beer and time
Its interesting reading the last few posts as the variety of problems that come the way of a recovering alcoholic are amazing. As to the problem with sweet things, I have been on the Atkins diet for about fifteen weeks and one of the good things about it is that I have weaned myself off them. There are certainly some negative issues with the diet but the benefits for me outweigh the drawbacks. Only a few more pounds to go and I can slowly reintroduce carbs. Taking in high doses of carbohydrates makes me want more and gives me a feeling of hunger (I think it's to do with the spike of sugar in your system) and the last thing I need is a craving.
Speaking only for myself I would not touch a non-alcoholic beer. I feel that the association with the real deal would be just too much. I fear that I would kid myself that a small real beer would be OK and I would be off down the slippery slope. For me it is best to avoid temptation.
As to time and the ways to get out of previous routines, I have found myself in an expanded time zone since giving up nthe booze. I have masses more time because my whole calendar was ruled by the desire to drink. Every day my programme was charted out in order to enable me to have the absolute maximum access to drink. My wife and I rarely went out together as I was not prepared to drive (not even on a 50:50 basis) my whole weekend was planned around drinking.
When you stop time really does expand and I now am able, and happy, to do all the odds and ends around the house that I simply refused to do before. I get great satisfaction from doing these mundane tasks for a number of reasons; they occupy me, they keep thoughts of alcohol away, they return me to the person I used to be years ago before alcohol got a grip on me. The simplest tasks become worthwhile and I have set myself a number of larger scale projects to keep myself going over the next few months.
Many thanks to all those who were kind enough to welcome me to the forum. I look forward to posting, reading your comments and the intelectual stimulation of interacting with like-minded people. Actually posting makes it seem as though falling back into drink would be a breach of faith with the rest of you (I hope that doesn't sound daft / pretentious) and I hope much less likely.
Stay sober.
Michael
Speaking only for myself I would not touch a non-alcoholic beer. I feel that the association with the real deal would be just too much. I fear that I would kid myself that a small real beer would be OK and I would be off down the slippery slope. For me it is best to avoid temptation.
As to time and the ways to get out of previous routines, I have found myself in an expanded time zone since giving up nthe booze. I have masses more time because my whole calendar was ruled by the desire to drink. Every day my programme was charted out in order to enable me to have the absolute maximum access to drink. My wife and I rarely went out together as I was not prepared to drive (not even on a 50:50 basis) my whole weekend was planned around drinking.
When you stop time really does expand and I now am able, and happy, to do all the odds and ends around the house that I simply refused to do before. I get great satisfaction from doing these mundane tasks for a number of reasons; they occupy me, they keep thoughts of alcohol away, they return me to the person I used to be years ago before alcohol got a grip on me. The simplest tasks become worthwhile and I have set myself a number of larger scale projects to keep myself going over the next few months.
Many thanks to all those who were kind enough to welcome me to the forum. I look forward to posting, reading your comments and the intelectual stimulation of interacting with like-minded people. Actually posting makes it seem as though falling back into drink would be a breach of faith with the rest of you (I hope that doesn't sound daft / pretentious) and I hope much less likely.
Stay sober.
Michael
Not the center of the Universe
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Orchard Lake, Michigan
Posts: 974
Originally Posted by michaelj
Actually posting makes it seem as though falling back into drink would be a breach of faith with the rest of you (I hope that doesn't sound daft / pretentious) and I hope much less likely.
Stay sober.
Michael
Stay sober.
Michael
One Love, One Heart, Jah Bless
Tony
Stopping the tornado
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: USA
Posts: 143
Hi Michael,
Your post about the expanded time describes me to a T. It is wonderful to have control over my life again, to be able to MANAGE my house and my life is such a gift in sobriety.
To give a perfect example, I have been struggling to get sober for a year now, with some success. Yesterday, I had to go thru my filing cabinet to get rid of all the papers from last year that I didn't need. I could tell from that the months that I had been sober. The papers were neat, stapled together, organized. The months when I had been drinking the papers were just shoved into the folder, completely unorganized. It was amazing to me to see this tiny example of the difference in how I handle my life when I am sober.
Today, I am greatful to be sober and have my life back!
Your post about the expanded time describes me to a T. It is wonderful to have control over my life again, to be able to MANAGE my house and my life is such a gift in sobriety.
To give a perfect example, I have been struggling to get sober for a year now, with some success. Yesterday, I had to go thru my filing cabinet to get rid of all the papers from last year that I didn't need. I could tell from that the months that I had been sober. The papers were neat, stapled together, organized. The months when I had been drinking the papers were just shoved into the folder, completely unorganized. It was amazing to me to see this tiny example of the difference in how I handle my life when I am sober.
Today, I am greatful to be sober and have my life back!
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 1,432
It was important to me to do something every day to enhance my sobriety. If that involves communicating with others -- in person or on forums or online meetings -- it's even more effective. Making that kind of public commitment to abstinence does help to reinforce the decision, if only because we're too proud to lapse when we've put it out there for everyone to see!
Another point about the extra time, Michael, is that people sometimes tell us that they drink out of boredom, or that they just find themselves unable to deal with all that free time and energy. It sounds odd, but we have gotten used to the passivity of drinking and can get kind of antsy when we have sober free time. It's a great opportunity to develop interests that we may have had before, or that we wanted to pursue (but 'didn't have time'). Filling those old drinking times can be necessary at first, and very rewarding as time goes by.
Thanks to both of you for posting, and please keep in touch,
Don S
Another point about the extra time, Michael, is that people sometimes tell us that they drink out of boredom, or that they just find themselves unable to deal with all that free time and energy. It sounds odd, but we have gotten used to the passivity of drinking and can get kind of antsy when we have sober free time. It's a great opportunity to develop interests that we may have had before, or that we wanted to pursue (but 'didn't have time'). Filling those old drinking times can be necessary at first, and very rewarding as time goes by.
Thanks to both of you for posting, and please keep in touch,
Don S
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