Help for a loved one
 

I am seriously concerned about my aunt. (She raised me so, she is really a mother to me) She is 43 years old and has a serious alcohol problem and also smokes pot on a daily basis. She has also told me that she has been experimenting with Crack Cocaine. I am worried to death about her. She just found out that she is pregnant and she still insists on drinking and using drugs. She is extremely violent when she is drunk, she is a danger to herself and this unborn child. Within the past week alone, she has had to get 4 staples in her head from a fall that she took while drunk. Also, three days later while drunk again she fell, hitting her head again having to receive 30 stitches (15 on the inside 15 on the outside) She cannot hold a job, she has been stealing money from her three biological sons (ages 16, 19, 21) she has been arrested for lude conduct, public drunkenness, and other things. I have lost hope but, I fear for this baby that she is carrying. Is there any thing that you could recommend for us to make her get help for the sake of the baby? She lives in Pennsylvania. I need to try to find a program that she can be put in to. Please, any suggestions or help I would greatly appreciate.

Hi InNeedofHelp

Welcome to the boards. I honestly don't know if there is anything you can do for her without her consent unless she is threatening to hurt herself and then you can have her 302'd. You may want to contact Children and Youth Services about the unborn child, not sure if they can help or not.

I am not sure where she lives in PA but there are many treatment centers but the bottom line is that she has to be willing to go.

I will pray for you and your loved ones. I hope you find the right direction which to go. I am sure there are others who maybe able to suggest more than I can.

Take care.
Many hugs,
Debbie

First welcome,

I am so sorry you are in such a difficult situation...my concern here lies with you and your 3 "brothers". Being raised by an out of control alcoholic and potential addict is emotional (and perhaps physical) abuse.

About helping her..there is really nothing you can do to get her sober short of locking her up. If she using while she is pregnant, I am sure that down deep she already knows she is threatening the life of her unborn child. In todays world that is a crime... are you prepared to report her to protect the child?

The first thing we all learn is that we are powerless over the alcoholic no matter how out of control the situation is. They have to want to clean up their lives themselves. We do have the power to take care of ourselves and protect ourselves if needed. Husbands steal from wives, son's from mothers and mother's from son's...sad but true. I lived with everything locked up when my A was at home. I have called the police when violence erupted (my A is my son)and I pressed charges.


Keep posting perhaps on the Al Anon or Nar Anon boards...tell us more...are you all living with her? Where is the father/husband?

Hugs,
JT

InNeedofhelp welcome to the recovery forum. As the ladies have already stated unless the addict/alcoholic is willing to go and get help of their own free will, there really is not much you can do except maybe provide information. I suggest you take the previous suggestions and post on the Al-Anon or Nar-Anon boards fro yourself. If you think that you convince the addict to go for treatment, here is website that has a facility in Philadelphia and it accomodates women with children and women on welfare.
http://www.casaworks.org

Just for Today--------I am Sober

Thanks, to all that have replied so far. I do not live with my aunt any longer. I got married 13 years ago and have three children of my own I am living in New Jersey. That's what is making this so much harder for me. I cannot be there to try to help her. I know that she has to be ready to help her self but, I just feel that if I was there with her than, maybe I could "Knock" some sence into her head as far as this unborn child is concerned. As far as her husband ... She is divorced. She is now shacked up with some guy that she fights with constantly. He is the father of this baby.My aunt is extremely violent and picks fights with her boyfriend all the time. She is dangerous to herself and to this unborn baby. I am to the point that I feel if she had a miscarriage it would actually be for the best. She cannot take care of herself, let alone a baby. I have been told to just wash my hands of the whole situation and move on with the family I have built and, basically to just sit back and wait for the dreadful phone call that she was found dead somewhere. I am so afraid for her that I don't know what to do. Thanks for the advice though.