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Close friend?

Old 08-04-2001, 03:32 AM
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Hoogirl
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Close friend?

I am in a relationship with a younger man who recently admitted himself to a detox program. Although the words "permanant" and "marriage" have never been used to describe our relationship, I still care deeply about him. I realize I had been enabling him, and I desperately want to help him now in any way I can.I also don't want the relationship to end, but I'm not sure how AA or Al-anon views this type of relationship. I'm not family, and I have no idea what to do. Should I go to Al-Anon meetings? Is there another group? How do I let him know I'm here for him?
Any ideas or suggestions would be appreciated.
 
Old 08-04-2001, 06:40 AM
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Pernell Johnson's Avatar
 
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Hoogirl, welcome to the forum. Your question are legitimate and you are right tobe concerned. I suggest you attend Al-Anon meetings. In the meetings you will meet others with similar situations and you will learn how to protect yourself and support your friend. If you have a problem finding a meeting you area post back and give your city and state.
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Old 08-05-2001, 01:32 PM
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Frank.D
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Dear Hoogirl:My name is Frank.D.I am a member of A.A and my wife is a member of ALANON.....Do both of you a favor and attend alanon meetings so you can learn how to help yourself (FIRST)...so you will be able to help him later.I would suggest the same for him...except he would attend A.A.meeting...TRUST IN IT AND YOU WILL KNOW THE MEANING OF SERENITY!!!!

Love Frank.D

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Old 08-05-2001, 04:51 PM
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Hoogirl
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Dear Parnell & Frank,
Thanks so much for replying. I actually spoke to him today, and he is concentrating very hard on making this work for him, so I got a schedule for Al-Anon meetings in this area and plan to attend this week. I think it's probably the best way for me to show him I care, and that I'll be there for him when he's ready. Again, my thanks. Hoogirl
 
Old 08-12-2001, 08:39 AM
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dianeh
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Dear Hoogirl
I began attending Al-Anon in June 2001 out of desperation. I had been trying to control my husband's drinking and using for the past 5 years and I had become pretty unstable myself. In Al-Anon, I found support and others who had done the very same things I had done and I was reminded that I was trying to control a disease which I have absolutely no power over. I have begun to learn what I can do to change myself and how to detach from my husband's disease. What I have not learned in Al-Anon is how to fix him, which is what I have tried to do for a long time. And I realize now that it is up to him to work on his program, and me on mine.
 

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