Chambfitz

I came here in January and rec'd great support, advice, I though I was good to go. I went a whole week w/out alcohol....for me it's been 3 years w/out a beer. Then I let the alcoholism take over me, I turned to it for my depression/anxiety/crutch....have been 3-6 light beers a night in Feb. To top it off I rec'd my blood work back from doctor and liver enzyme ast/alt levels are elevated....

I go to bed at night saying, tomorrow...I don't need a beer, let alone 5-6.

I'm so depressed, upset. I don't want liver disease/cancer etc....only 24.

I am reluctant to go to AA as I have social anxiety, hence why I use alcohol to "lighten the mood". Oh well, just thought I would throw this out there and see what you all think.

jlo34

chambfitz,

As far as quitting tomorrow; my opinion, tomorrow never gets here, it's always today. I too have elevated liver enzymes; I have had elevated liver enzymes for over a year now. I only drank for a few years.

Of course you're depressed and upset. You went an entire week without any alcohol, that's great. Now you're beating yourself up not only that you went back out again, but also because you are afraid of what might happen to you medically. And drinking is going to help your liver how?!?!?!

As far as reluctant to go to AA due to social anxiety - big BS (sorry, in my opinion). Did you have too much social anxiety to go to bars, parties? Do you have too much social anxiety to go grocery shopping and that kind of thing? Sorry, can't buy that. I will tell you this though; you are not the first person to be nervous, scared, anxious or afraid of going to AA. I think probably everyone (at least that I know) has felt that way. It takes time to get comfortable. You don't even have to say a word at the meeting. You don't have to admit you're an alcoholic, nothing. As long as you have a desire not to drink today, you are welcome to any AA meeting. I think it took me a couple of weeks before I said anything at a meeting. To ease this discomfort, why don't you call the AA answering service in your area and ask if someone could pick you up for a meeting. It probably won't be quite so scary to walk in with someone else; also, you can get an idea of what the meetings are like before you experience them...some of us like to forewarn "newbies" of the way the meetings are run so they know what to expect.

Good luck. (By the way, didn't mean to offend you. If you really are diagnosed by a physician as having social anxiety - so many people throw that term around and use it as an excuse for everything. I have found that "social anxiety" can stem from problems dealing with/without alcohol - paranoia (was one I liked when I was drinking)shyness, etc.).

Blessings,
Jen

Chy

Hi Cham and welcome back!
Stop by the chat room sometime, we have online meeting here if that would help. You can find the schedule in the Chat forum.

ihelpkids

The first part is always the hardest. I know you are reluctant to go to AA meetings, but I strongly encourage you to go. I think you will be presently surprised by how supportive and welcoming people can be. While you don't have to say a word at these meetings, I would suggest you just make it your goal to say that you have only recently stopped drinking. When I told the group that it I had just quit drinking 20 people gave me their phone numbers, stating that I could call them anytime, day or night.

My thoughts are with you, keep plugging away!

KelKel

Glad you are back...
Like Chy said, check out the meetings here.

Here is a schedule....

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ad.php?t=39702

GG733

Chambfitz, there are meetings out there for every type and taste: big, easy to get lost in meetings, small, everyone gets to share ones, mens meetings, womens meetings, gay and lesbian meetings, meetings in spanish, tugalug, chinese...you name it, it's out there. Find one that works for you!

nonamefornow

Chambfitz,

Do you have a sponsor? If so call him/her. Read the Big Book. Go to meetings.

I've not tried the online meetings, but it's better than drinking. Getting outside my own head and finding a way to talk with others is what let me string together my days of sobriety. If you can find an online Step 1 meeting, do it!!!!!!
Email me at tomw9567******.com and we can trade info. I'll be more than happy to help anyway I can.

stonewolf

QUOTE FROM JLO ******** Did you have too much social anxiety to go to bars, parties? Do you have too much social anxiety to go grocery shopping and that kind of thing? Sorry, can't buy that. I will tell you this though; you are not the first person to be nervous, scared, anxious or afraid of going to AA. I think probably everyone (at least that I know) has felt that way. It takes time to get comfortable.}}}} quote from jlo.


Agoraphobia, fearfulness, PTSD, borderline personality, etc, etc etc,.... they all DO exist!!

It may come down to the chicken and the egg issue..... which came first, did one drink because the anxiety became too great, or did drinking make them too anxious.!!!


Either way, making a presumption that one is full of big B.S, is really irresponsible for anyone to DIAGNOSE!!!!! I'm talking to you JLO, I do see that you did add a disclaimer, but that is not good enough to someone suffering from an ANXIETY disorder. Can you imagine how they are feeling now, now that you have kicked their vulnerable butt......??

I hope that no harm is done with anyone's opinion in here, but I have to say, SOMETIMES, one should be more cautious about the so called "Power Of Words".
In Spirit Stonewolf

walkertall

I'd like to comment on social anxiety disorder. After experiencing it myself, I know first hand about it. I couldn't go to church on easter sunday with my family. After quitting alcohol the disorder abated completely. Some people on here will tell you what to do. Even go as far as diagnose you. Take what seems right and helpful. People that degrade you aren't worth listening to. My social anxiety was exteme because I couldn't be in a room with a lot of people. Of course a couple of beers in a bar or at a party and the symptoms were gone. I had a instructor who understood the condition and she told me....and I quote.....who cares what other people think of my actions or what I look like or how I'm dressed....etc. That was a godsend for me. Go to the meetings like you're the most important person there. Because you are...=) AA is not for everyone and I don't attend them myself. I went to a couple of them, but then there were people like a previous post in this thread that had all the answers. Ask God to help you, do the next right thing, and don't drink. These are suggestions. That's all.........Walker. D.O.S. 4/1/2003

jlo34

Excuse me StoneWolf and Walkertall for obviously offending you. I'm also sorry to you Chambfitz. Yes, I do understand that social anxiety is a medical condition. I also realize that it is about as overdiagnosed as ADD/ADHD, especially when diagnosis is made with alcohol/drugs on board. I also know that there are a lot of people that like to "self-diagnose", which is why I said what I said. I will explain myself by the first sentence, if Chambfitz was "self-diagnosed". The rest of it, if you read it, I went on to offer some suggestions if he really does have this condition. I am not a doctor, but I am well-trained in the medical field. No, I can't diagnose (on the internet)...I'm going off what I read (perceived) and from my experiences.

Again, I apologize formally to you Chambfitz and anyone else that my opinion may have offended. It certainly is not my intention to offend anyone.

My apologies,
Jen

Choices

First off I would like to say hello and that I also know what it is like to get sober at 24...cause I am. I think it can be tougher on the younger people for various reasons. Also, just for knowledge, I heard an addiction doctor(in recovery himself) talk once about how alcoholism and drug addiction can look like almost any psycho-social disorder. It can be tough in early recovery and for me anxiety was a big part of it, but it will pass with time. Best of luck to you.

John

jlo34

Chambfitz,
I just read your prior thread in January when you strung a week together...I read about you making it to the parking lot and then not going in. As people mentioned in that thread, I will re-iterate. It is absolutely normal to feel that way. Many of us have felt that way. I went with another person for several weeks until I "felt" more comfortable.

AA is not for everyone, but it has saved my life. The scariest thing is walking through the door the first time. It gets easier every time. Keep trying and try again.

Don S has some alternatives to AA if you are interested, PM him. I don't know how those programs work, I've never tried them.

I got sober (God-willing) for the last time at 17. God-willing, I can make it another 38 days, I will celebrate 14 years sober.

You mentioned in your other thread your wife and 1 year old. Many say that we have to do it for ourselves; which is true. However, I know when I started out I didn't do it for myself - I guess I did in a way, I didn't want to get in trouble, but I did it to please others. Eventually, I truly wanted to stay sober for myself. If it helps to give you courage to walk through those doors, think of your child and how a sober father will be so much more beneficial to him/her than a drunken father. You have the opportunity to change your life in a way you can't even imagine...seize it. You're very young yet and sobriety can change your life from hell to something beyond your wildest dreams. The hardest part of the first meeting is getting through that door; once you walk in, I promise you, you will feel like you are at home.

Make that call and set up for someone to pick you up and take you to a meeting. It not only helps you; it helps that person as well. On your last thread you sounded pretty excited about going...find that enthusiasm and try again.

Prayers and blessings,
Jen

GettingSober

Same advice as the other thread, its a lie, it only makes our anxiety worse, why do we have such a hard time doing nothing and going to bed ? We falsely believe we are 'missing a great drinking opportunity' and in reality if we drink we miss life.

Just pour the beer down the drain and take 2 melatonins and crash.

stonewolf

((((Chambfitz, JLO)))))))))) just felt like a hug was in order. Very good advise on the last post JLO, I appreciate that you came back and helped to sort things out. I feel very strong about judgement calls on a vulnerable person. I know you are trying to help and are hopefully succeeding.

God Bless.... this site and all the powerhouses in here, you breathe life into the dying.

In spirit, Stonewolf

jlo34

Thanks for pointing out "the tone". I'm not always aware and certainly far from perfect!!!

Jen

walkertall

No problem jlo34.... I guess we were coming to the rescue huh? Social anxiety for me was a real problem. And it may just be the correct diagnosis for Chambfitz. As we all know alcoholism can cause a myriad of problems and social anxiety is way up there. I had to get a doctor's note explaining why I couldn't attend group meetings at work. Either that or be suspended for not attending what simply were informational meetings on the status of the company. The benefits of stopping drinking are tremendous. Good luck Chambfitz. I'll be rooting for ya.......=)