Cathy31

I had a big disappointment today.

I am glad to say that having a drink did not enter my mind - except for entering my mind that it hadn't if you know what I mean!

What struck me is this...all my responses up to when I got sober and joined AA were the same really. Good news - get drunk, Bad news - get drunk, no news - get drunk, tragedy - get drunk, something exceptional to celebrate - get drunk. Of COURSE I have to add that each time the intention was to drink 'normally' and celebrate/commiserate whatever the case may be.

So, after today's events, I thought to myself - really as recovering alcoholics we have to actually learn to live again don't we? Live, as in really learn reactions other than getting drunk over - or at! (ie drunk over a disappointment, or drunk at the person who annoyed us)

I am trying to learn and re-programme new responses so today what I did after hearing this very very disappointing news (career opportunity lost - not due to alcohol, in fact to be honest, had I not been sober and in AA I wouldn't have gotten down to the last 2) I talked it over with my husband, chatted to my mom and dad, told a couple of friends, went to the gym and went to a meeting. Now I'm back home and sharing with you guys. I feel better, but obviously not totally over it.

Thank you God that I don't have to get drunk anymore - there's just no reason to. It also just has nothing to offer me and that has been a great lesson learnt.

Does anyone else feel like that - that you're really learning to live for the first time - life on life's terms I suppose it is??

It's tough enough.

But I like it.


Cathy31
x

Chy

Yup, my sponsor told me we start growing up from where we left off the day we get sober. So that makes me about 19 now It's a great experiance. Sorry you had a rough time, good thing is you didn't drink over it.

Northwoods Lady

Sorry about the opportunity lost...
But soooooo proud of you.
Yup - we do have to learn all over again. Our responses were always to drink (good and/or bad).
But your first response wasn't to reach for the drink! How great was that!
We keep learning and we keep growing - you done good!!!

Northwoods Lady

lookinguy60

hmmmmmmmmmm waht keeps me good is how good it feels to fell good ,, my best days drunk cant even come close to my worse days sober....... it is nice to sleep and not up al night sacred ,, oh how good it feels ....,

lookinguy60

when i first went to meetings i thgout they are are full of **** ,,, untill about 6 months sober i felt it i felt the good days comming .. andf i only wish i stoped in 1992.. god only kno2ws how much deam my liver is but i knowe as long as i dont drink and i feel good that all the m,atters

jlo34

Cathy,
Getting sober and staying sober...2 different things. Getting sober is the physical and mental abstinence from alcohol. Staying sober teaches me how to live life on life's terms and accept the challenges life brings my way. Life is not a silver platter; I have learned. Life is life, sober is life without alcohol and learning to deal with this life. I have the opportunity to enhance my spiritual self, my mental/emotional self, and my physical self. I can't control much in this life; but I can have awareness over how I react to things that happen in this life. I DO NOT have to drink today; it is always a choice; one that has over time automatically become; not today. One day at a time.

Sorry to hear about your loss at career advancement. Maybe next time. I am learning to accept (on a daily basis) my physical inability to no longer be physically able to perform my career. I have faith that God has something else for me to do and I need to remember to enjoy the memories I have from the career I loved so much. I have found the good of the circumstances and choose (today) to dwell in those rather than the negative. I have had the opportunity to be more involved in my childrens' lives, to get more active in AA, to attend more meetings, to be an active sponsor, and to learn to live in my own skin; comfortably. I have learned a lot of lessons this past year. I am NOT my job. I am NOT my career. I spent so much time putting all my self-worth/esteem into my career that I had forgotten who's most important in that equation, me. I spent so much time training and trying to be the best at my job, focusing on others, I forgot to look within. I have had that opportunity and I continue with that opportunity, and have found out that Jen really is a good person, from the inside out.

I have a sponsor that tells me "the exact nature". I have another sponsor that tells me to "find your good". I find that on my knees in heartfelt prayer/meditation, I am able to answer both of these reflections. I'm not scared to look at who I am today. What a beautiful revelation.

I use to be so scared of who I was and what I felt; I would drink for any occassion; primarily, to get drunk. Today, I drink life and enjoy the Spirit of life, even in the bad times. What a blessing.

Good luck on your journey, Cathy...don't forget to "find your good". We all have it. I have way more than I could have ever dreamed of...

Love,
Jen