Greatful2004

I'm on day one (again) and wondering why on earth I would put myself thru this ever again. I feel just awful. Shakes, miserable feelings, can't sleep, and utter despondance. I've been crying on & off today.

Again, I have to face the fear of going back to work tomorrow after calling out for the first three days this week.

A friend of mine called to chew me out about not returning her calls, told me how unfair it is that she has to be worrying about me lying dead in my house. She's right, it is awfully selfish.

My parents aren't talking to me at this point, and truth be told, I don't blame them much. It's tough to listen to your daughter promise again & again that she is done drinking, and then just have her go back to it.

And here I sit, trying to take my mind off of this pain. Too ill to get off the couch, too ill to sleep. I just sit here and watch as the minutes pass ever so slowly.

I hope this post isn't too much of a downer. I thought that it might help me to share it with everyone, and also to go back and read it whenever I need a reminder about the "joys" of drinking (sarcasm)

I know it will get better, I have been down this road before. I just hope I can keep sober this time around.

stilltrying

Is there any way that you can get to an AA meeting today? It might help to be around supportive people. Know that we are all here with you!

walkertall

Hey girl..........How ya doing today. =) I'm sure there are a lot of us that have slipped and started over. You're on the right track, just don't give up. Educate your parents to alcoholism if you haven't already done so. If they surf, point them to this site. Maybe they'll understand more clearly. From my experience, someone who isn't an alcoholic wont fully understand it all. My mom had a hard time believeing one of her sons could possibly be that. Now she's supportive and knows more about it. Good luck and remember it's the first drink that starts everything going again. Believe me, I've experienced that many a time..........Take care

TracyAgain

Greatful, your words resonated with me. I was where you are just ten days ago and the misery is vivid in my mind. Today is a world away from where I was then.

Tomorrow will be better. Just don't drink today. If you can get to a meeting or you have phone numbers, this would be a good time to use them.

My heart goes out to you.

Tracy

Greatful2004

Thanks for your responses

I am at Day 2, back in work although feeling like heck. But it's good to be up and moving around. It's amazing how the body fights back. I do know the withdrawl gets worse & worse every time.

I also know that as the body recovers, it is important for me to find a way to heal my addiction. I am going to look into some mtg schedules tonight, try to find a few key mtgs to go to every week. I also made an appt. to go back to my shrink, she is very helpful with the cognitive stuff.

Good luck to all of you who are on the same path!! I really hope that I will stay motivated by becoming an active member in this group!

mikee

Greatful2004's Quote:
I'm on day one (again) and wondering why on earth I would put myself thru this ever again.
When it comes to alcohol, I remind myself of this saying:
"The definition of insanity is, Repeating the same behavior over and over again, expecting different results"

In memory of miracle

On your 2 day's.That is great.I know how difficult the physical part of this disease can be.Toward the end of my drinking I was the withdrawal queen.What happened with me was I got "sick and tired of being sick and tired".If your symptoms persist,please think of seeing a doctor.Alcohol withdrawal can be very dangerous.
You have found a great place for help and support.SR was and is a big part of my recovery along with f2f meetings.Let us know how your doing and welcome.
Bless,Trish

Greatful2004

Whoo Hoo. I am feeling so much better!!

It's Friday, and I am sitting home with a diet pepsi, watching American Idol on Tivo. Life is so great.

It's amazing how much better I feel without alcohol.

I slept so good last night, but woke up very tired today. It probably took me about 4 hours and 4 pepsi's to wake up. The sweats are still going strong, but I am finally able to eat again. I've actually been ravenous!!

There is hope!!

jmhs002

I am on day 5 and feel much better than I did on day 3, so hang in there!!
I am sure tomorrow you will feel better yet - especially when you wake up with a clear head and not hungover!! Keep it up!

Belle

I am so happy for you!!!!!! :tongue3: You hang in there and you WILL make it. You have to concentrate on your getting better now! It's not going to be easy, but you have the determination to do so! And when you go through all the pain and misery of quiting, you will always remember that and never want to start back again. Sometimes the pain is a good thing. It tells you how much you were hurting your body and how much it is not worth it to go through this ever again in your life! It will serve as a good lesson to you later! Good luck to you and keep up the good work and keep the faith!

With Love!!!!

progress

Congrats on your days! I am on day 6 myself, and I found that the sweating subsided by day 5 (yesterday).

If you haven't gone to a meeting (or don't plan to), you can call your local AA central office and just talk with someone.

Please remember that you never have to feel crappy and guilty and ashamed about your drinking ever again!

(((HUGS)))

pattyspaw

i'm back to day one, had 7 days and was feeling pretty good, that stinking thinking got me and today i start again, fridays have always been difficult for me, i will have to work harder on staying sober, gonna make a big effort to make sure and go to a meeting on fridays, thank you for sharing it gives me hope that i too can someday join the ranks of the old timers

Greatful2004

Hi Pattyspaw, The weekends are tough. I really hope that someday that awful obsession to drink will go away, or at least abate some. I know that even though I am thru the worst of the withdrawl, it will be quite some time before I stop thinking about drinking, especially on the weekends. Hang in there, plan on a meeting next friday!!

pattyspaw

Thanks Greatful2004, I know I can make it, gotta do it one day at a time; I have so many things in my life that are good and I want to enjoy them, can't do that drinking; I will go to a meeting on Friday, I know of one I can go to at lunchtime;

Greatful2004

I am happy to say I am now on Day 7! Yay, a full week since my last drink. Life seems so much brighter now. I haven't had too much trouble with cravings, they happen occasionally but I am working thru them.

I am a little worried b/c I am going away on a little vacation this weekend, I think it's gonna be tough getting thru it without a drink, but I sure am gonna try.

I know I can do it because I really want the sober lifestyle, it makes me feel so much better :tongue3:

In memory of miracle

Congradulations 1 week !! Bless Trish

wingsfree

Hi Greatful

Congrats on your sober time.....I love your possitive attitude....keep up the sober happy dance.....life looks tons brighter with a clearer head.

pattyspaw

good for you, keep going; i am back to day 1 again; hopefully i am ready to give it my all this time, don't want another day one, gonna make a meeting today, need to humble myself and admit out loud that i am an alcoholic and need help

Greatful2004

Hi Pattyspaw,

I think that is a great plan. As long as you keep trying, you are on the right track!!

I noticed this morning that the redness in my face is going away, that is motivation enough for me today. I hate looking like that all the time, and I know from before, if I quit for a while, my skin looks SO MUCH better.

Here's to day 8!

pattyspaw

greatful2004; thanks for the encouragement and the insight, i feel and look better when i haven't had a drink in a while, gonna keep on trying; made it to a meeting today, it was the first time i said outloud that i'm an alcoholic, it was tough but it felt good too; gonna go to a meeting on friday and one on saturday, it really does help as does coming in here and reading others experience and writing about mine;