Honestly, I dont want to quit
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Originally Posted by grkda
I think my situation boils down to this, if I were to be honest, I really dont want to quit drinking. I want to be able to drink a cold beer now and then.
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Originally Posted by Don S
Don't let the replies here make you feel as though you haven't got a commitment to sobriety!
I have no hard statistics on this, but I'd say 99% of people who quit drinking feel that frustration at first. Keep in mind, though, that 82% of statistics are made up on the spot.
You're making a change in your daily behavior. That's always unsettling and frustrating, no matter what it's related to. And you're expressing some anxiety about how you'll deal with that urge day to day. Planning for urges is one of the things that people who are successful at longterm sobriety do. So figuring out what you're going to do about this frustration is important. For me, having a quick mental reply was helpful -- 'alcohol doesn't make anything better' or something like that.
Don S
I have no hard statistics on this, but I'd say 99% of people who quit drinking feel that frustration at first. Keep in mind, though, that 82% of statistics are made up on the spot.
You're making a change in your daily behavior. That's always unsettling and frustrating, no matter what it's related to. And you're expressing some anxiety about how you'll deal with that urge day to day. Planning for urges is one of the things that people who are successful at longterm sobriety do. So figuring out what you're going to do about this frustration is important. For me, having a quick mental reply was helpful -- 'alcohol doesn't make anything better' or something like that.
Don S
"Keep in mind, though, that 82% of statistics are made up on the spot."
Im going to remember that one.Thanks for the comment. Honestly, I was startin to feel like the general sentiment around here is that Im not ready to quit so come back later. I really dont know whether I fit the description of "ready to quit", but i know what I feel like and I know how I tired I am of all the crap. My 3 year old just told me I smell like beer for hell sakes.
Ill check in with you soon, thanks again.
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Originally Posted by Peter
If ever I heard a statement that did not sound like a "commitment to sobriety" this would be it.
Im really trying not to be a contrarian here but, I didnt come to this forum because Im not ready for sobriety. Im just being honest. I really dont want to be an alcoholic anymore, but I do enjoy a cold beer. Im surprised that more people here havent expressed their same feelings of frustration at the prospects of never again enjoying a cold beer, like we did before it became a problem. I look on friends with envy because they can, and I cant. Im really surprised that few others feel the same way. Maybe that makes me "not ready", I honestly dont know.
What I had hoped for was to hear responses of the sort,
"Geez, I know your frustration and that sounds just like me when I quit. It sucks having to face the reality of never again having a cold one, doesnt it? We ALL went through that though."
All Im hearing is that Im just not ready to quit. I really thought that this frustration was something everyone went through. Mass confusion sets in
Thanks for the comments and reading my rant
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Originally Posted by grkda
NO NO NO, thats not what I wanted to hear Don! You need to tell me that you have a way of beating it. Surely there is an infomercial or someone offering a product that will make it all go away?
I like your "retraining the brain" thoughts. Now we just need a way to expedite that process.
I like your "retraining the brain" thoughts. Now we just need a way to expedite that process.
"If there was a pill to cure our addiction I'd take 10".
I too would like to fast forward to relief because I am not sure I want to quit either. But I am not going to use today. So far that method is working wonders....
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Originally Posted by erino134
My addiction doctor told me today (day 3 of my sobriety)
"If there was a pill to cure our addiction I'd take 10".
I too would like to fast forward to relief because I am not sure I want to quit either. But I am not going to use today. So far that method is working wonders....
"If there was a pill to cure our addiction I'd take 10".
I too would like to fast forward to relief because I am not sure I want to quit either. But I am not going to use today. So far that method is working wonders....
Hey congratulations erino. I hope I will check in with a sobriety post very soon. Strike that, I WILL check in soon.
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Grkda,
Just like to hang with AA people then? Early in my life, I knew i was an alcoholic. Knowing and doing something about it is 2 different things. Many people I've met in my life are functioning alkies. The difference is, their drinking hasn't caused them the problems many of us had prior to coming into AA.
There must b something piquing your interest! You wondering where the connection is?
The only real requirement is a desire to stop drinking. That's all I needed to hear. I've been coming back ever since.
Just like to hang with AA people then? Early in my life, I knew i was an alcoholic. Knowing and doing something about it is 2 different things. Many people I've met in my life are functioning alkies. The difference is, their drinking hasn't caused them the problems many of us had prior to coming into AA.
There must b something piquing your interest! You wondering where the connection is?
The only real requirement is a desire to stop drinking. That's all I needed to hear. I've been coming back ever since.
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Originally Posted by CAPTAINZING2000
Grkda,
Just like to hang with AA people then? Early in my life, I knew i was an alcoholic. Knowing and doing something about it is 2 different things. Many people I've met in my life are functioning alkies. The difference is, their drinking hasn't caused them the problems many of us had prior to coming into AA.
There must b something piquing your interest! You wondering where the connection is?
The only real requirement is a desire to stop drinking. That's all I needed to hear. I've been coming back ever since.
Just like to hang with AA people then? Early in my life, I knew i was an alcoholic. Knowing and doing something about it is 2 different things. Many people I've met in my life are functioning alkies. The difference is, their drinking hasn't caused them the problems many of us had prior to coming into AA.
There must b something piquing your interest! You wondering where the connection is?
The only real requirement is a desire to stop drinking. That's all I needed to hear. I've been coming back ever since.
As far as what its cost me, Im still fairly lucky. My wife is more tolerant than she should be. In the past year, I lost my consulting business and several contract clients since then. Im essentially jobless and we are broke. That was the biggie. Functional? I used to be but not so sure anymore.
I have the desire to quit, its just harder than it used to be to take the leap. I find excuses are plentiful and distractions allow me to continue.
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Originally Posted by Chy
With Peter and the rest, your not ready, and that's okay, there is still more misery yet to come, how much can you handle? We get ya, really do!
Thanks, appreciate it.
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Originally Posted by grkda
Im not following your "connection" question. (?)
As far as what its cost me, Im still fairly lucky. My wife is more tolerant than she should be. In the past year, I lost my consulting business and several contract clients since then. Im essentially jobless and we are broke. That was the biggie. Functional? I used to be but not so sure anymore.
I have the desire to quit, its just harder than it used to be to take the leap. I find excuses are plentiful and distractions allow me to continue.
As far as what its cost me, Im still fairly lucky. My wife is more tolerant than she should be. In the past year, I lost my consulting business and several contract clients since then. Im essentially jobless and we are broke. That was the biggie. Functional? I used to be but not so sure anymore.
I have the desire to quit, its just harder than it used to be to take the leap. I find excuses are plentiful and distractions allow me to continue.
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Originally Posted by Time2Surrender
Sounds like you have already lost a lot.It also sounds like you are still in denial.Everyone has to reach their bottom.Its different for everyone.Maybe you will have to loose your family and become homeless.But,I hope not.I doubt there is anyone in this forum that didnt like to drink.I know I didnt give it up because I didnt like it.Keep coming back and maybe you will read something you need to hear.
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Originally Posted by grkda
Im not following your "connection" question. (?)
As far as what its cost me, Im still fairly lucky. My wife is more tolerant than she should be. In the past year, I lost my consulting business and several contract clients since then. Im essentially jobless and we are broke. That was the biggie. Functional? I used to be but not so sure anymore.
I have the desire to quit, its just harder than it used to be to take the leap. I find excuses are plentiful and distractions allow me to continue.
As far as what its cost me, Im still fairly lucky. My wife is more tolerant than she should be. In the past year, I lost my consulting business and several contract clients since then. Im essentially jobless and we are broke. That was the biggie. Functional? I used to be but not so sure anymore.
I have the desire to quit, its just harder than it used to be to take the leap. I find excuses are plentiful and distractions allow me to continue.
c'mon just quit for a month i guarantee you will feel better about everything.
Tell yourself you can have all you want when the kids move out.
Try a great nights sleep and working out, I'll take that over booze ANY day. Plus I am eating good but also wolfing down treats and I am still getting a smaller gut.
One thing i used to do while knocking them back was at about 8 beers say 'whelp do I want another one of those or coffee ice cream or my fav cereal' ?
Seems once you eat you go to bed and more often than not I would go for the chow.
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Originally Posted by grkda
I have the desire to quit, its just harder than it used to be to take the leap. I find excuses are plentiful and distractions allow me to continue.
You'll find we care so much about you here, there's no sugarcoating anything with any of this bunch of drunks and addicts!
Keep coming back k?
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Originally Posted by GettingSober
My buddy just got 1st dui, loses license 1 year, having to move entire family near rail line.
c'mon just quit for a month i guarantee you will feel better about everything.
Tell yourself you can have all you want when the kids move out.
Try a great nights sleep and working out, I'll take that over booze ANY day. Plus I am eating good but also wolfing down treats and I am still getting a smaller gut.
One thing i used to do while knocking them back was at about 8 beers say 'whelp do I want another one of those or coffee ice cream or my fav cereal' ?
Seems once you eat you go to bed and more often than not I would go for the chow.
c'mon just quit for a month i guarantee you will feel better about everything.
Tell yourself you can have all you want when the kids move out.
Try a great nights sleep and working out, I'll take that over booze ANY day. Plus I am eating good but also wolfing down treats and I am still getting a smaller gut.
One thing i used to do while knocking them back was at about 8 beers say 'whelp do I want another one of those or coffee ice cream or my fav cereal' ?
Seems once you eat you go to bed and more often than not I would go for the chow.
So you would chow down "instead" of having another brew? Every time I eat now I tend to get that feeling. I end up drinking more, and quicker, after I eat than if I dont eat at all. I know what you are saying about exercise. Im in terrible shape and am embarrassed at my condition these days. Im only 35 and Ive got arthritis in my back (not related to drinking, but the beer isnt helping keep it in check), I weigh over 200 at 5' 8", inflammed duodenum, and high blood pressure. Im actually half afraid to go back to the doctor for my prescription; he yells at me
I do hope for those good nights of sleep soon. I get about one good night of sleep a week, if Im lucky, and that means not getting up 3 times to pee.
Thanks for the comments.
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Originally Posted by Chy
No denial there! ....and yup it was a terrifying leap, but I'm living better then ever, and grateful I am no longer exhausted from keeping up with my excuses. It's damn hard to quit, we all know it, some will make it some won't, just don't fear sobriety, that's what took me so friggen long.*hugs*.
You'll find we care so much about you here, there's no sugarcoating anything with any of this bunch of drunks and addicts!
Keep coming back k?
You'll find we care so much about you here, there's no sugarcoating anything with any of this bunch of drunks and addicts!
Keep coming back k?
Again, I dont want to be a contrarian but....what denial? I dont deny my problem, I dont deny what I need to do, and I dont deny that Im making excuses as to this that and the other. The only thing I deny, is that Im in denial
Seriously, what specifically do you see as denial?
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Oh, I understand that "when the morning comes" it all changes and you start planning again huh? Also understand the doc, I've had the same one for 21 years and he never figured out I was an alcoholic, (one of those amends I still need to make), he'd keep dishing my prescriptions for blood pressure, choleteral, triglycericides, at one time I was on 6 for blood pressure et al. Now, down to one. I was shocked at my levels, pressures, but did I quit? Hell now, not for another 10 years... and forget sleep, that's like a whole different story, Pheww... gave me goose bumps!
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Me? I didn't see any denial, thought I mentioned that. Check with T2, we're so good at reading into things when we don't have the physical body in front of us to read facial expression, voice tone, body language.. hang tight, he'll be back later.
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Originally Posted by Chy
Oh, I understand that "when the morning comes" it all changes and you start planning again huh? Also understand the doc, I've had the same one for 21 years and he never figured out I was an alcoholic, (one of those amends I still need to make), he'd keep dishing my prescriptions for blood pressure, choleteral, triglycericides, at one time I was on 6 for blood pressure et al. Now, down to one. I was shocked at my levels, pressures, but did I quit? Hell now, not for another 10 years... and forget sleep, that's like a whole different story, Pheww... gave me goose bumps!
Oh yeah, its real easy to make plans for ...tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow.... That is one of my techniques, I have a ready excuse for just about every day of the week. Tues, and Wed, are where my excuses have just run out
I told my doctor how much I drink. I had a serious pain in my gut for a while and wasnt about to give him only half the story. Thats why he yells at me
Im tired of screwin around and makin promises so I will forgoe that but, I really hope I will break out of this soon. I dont want wait another 10 years.
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Originally Posted by Chy
Me? I didn't see any denial, thought I mentioned that. Check with T2, we're so good at reading into things when we don't have the physical body in front of us to read facial expression, voice tone, body language.. hang tight, he'll be back later.
Oh, I thought you might have been using sarcasm when you said "No denial there". My apologies. If there is one thing that I, at the very least have on my side, its being honest with myself. That of course doesnt preclude me from fooling myself about something somehow but, I dont know what that would be.
Ive always been honest with myself, my family, and anyone else who needs to know. Im really hoping that that honesty will lead to someone kicking me in the ass at some point. My wife, bless her, is not the person to do it. I wish my dad was still around.
Looking for someone to do for me what I should be doing for myself? Oh yes.
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