BurntOut

Well try to sum up a complicated story with a simple version. I am a 26 year old female, the daughter of an abusive alcoholic parent. My dad has been sober for about 6 years now..great for him, love him to pieces. I guess I have always wondered why I had such low self esteem, question myself on everything, have never been able to settle into a loving relationship, and I am always seeking affirmation. I went to a Al-Anon website and went throught the questionnaire and all of a sudden things finally started to make sense for me as far as where my problems might stem from, I answered yes to nearly all. However...I do believe I myself am falling into this trap of alcoholism..I do crazy things when I am drunk, I lose all judgement..I'm able to control it for awhile, like say 2 wks, one month, or longer, but then i end up again where I started. I can't remember the last time I went out and had a casual night of drinking and didn't regret my behavior the next day. I guess I'm wondering which way to turn..AA or Al-Anon..and I'm not sure I'm ready either, but I would certainly love to do some reading on both. Any advice?

DenF.

Hi and welcome!

Thank you for sharing with us.

I would encorage you to maintain your fellowship with AA for now but I strongly encourage you to investigate ACOA (Adult Children of Alcoholics) also... Here are a couple of links.

Adult Children of Alcoholics

Children of Alcoholics Foundation

God Bless,

Den

BurntOut

Thanks for having a wonderful message board here I read through nearly the whole site before I managed to post. But everyone so far I have chatted to on here is so incredibly warm. I'm hoping this will eventually push me in the direction I need to go.

P.S. Thanks Den for the websites, they were helpful

SerenityLodge

Hi Burntout . . .

I can identify with you.

My first responsibility is to myself. Until I take care of me, I'm no good for anything or anyone else. So, I had to get sober/clean before I could tackle anything else.

After I was sober/clean 1 year, then I went to ACOA. In the area where I got sober, the ACOA people were pretty strict about that. If you had a drinking problem, you had to deal with that first and they strongly suggested a good solid year of working AA/NA's steps with sober support networks under my belt before tackling the rigours of ACOA. In my area ACOA was sponsored by a bunch of hard-ass Alanon women who knew their stuff. I'm glad for it. I could not have done it any other way.

The message I got loud and clear has been "put your sobriety number one on the list and everything else will take care of itself."

Works for me.

Hugs.

Jon