jdgualazzi

Hello there, my name is Jenni and I'm 29 and live in Las Vegas. I'm here because I have a drinking problem and would like some help? support? in controlling it. My husband doesn't know I have a drinking problem, because I've gone to great lengths to make sure he doesn't know. I work in the construction industry with a lot of men, so that's who I hang out with. My partner and I probably go out for a drinking lunch once or twice a week. But I am like the girl's father that posted a few threads ago--there is a bottle of Vodka in the fridge and when I drink it, I refill it with the bottle I have hidden in my closet. I pulled this bottle out last night and realized it was almost gone. I bought it the day before. It's not the standard size bottle, either, it's one larger. If he works late, which he's been doing all month, I'll go buy 4-24 ounce Coor's Lights and drink them all before he gets home. I'm not allowed to drink if he's not around, whether it's at work, after work whatever. Part of me thinks I'm just being rebellious to that rule and that's why I do what I do. I'd like to quit because I'm gaining weight and I have no motivation to go to the gym after I've gulped six beers or Smirnoff Ice. I just don't really know how to stop or slow down. I go to school at nights so I really don't have much time to go to meetings or anything, but I do have time during the work day to get on here. Thanks for any advice...Jenni

3legacy

(((((((((Jenni))))))))))
Welcome to Sober Recovery! Keep coming back here & I would suggest trying to find a bit of time to contact some folks at a place in your neck of the desert called the Triangle Club. Found it very helpful for me on my occassional trips to Vegas. Sounds like your quite a bit like me and it took getting honest for me to find real help. Wishing you the best this Holiday Season and hope to catch up with you online in our SR Chatroom if possible.
3 Legacy

jlo34

Jenni,

Hi and welcome to SR. Doesn't matter how often and when or where you drink. Think about this: what happens after you take the first drink? Do you plan or hide your drinking? Might have a problem with alcohol, called alcoholism. If you have time to plan drinking, I bet you could probably find time to go to meetings. Meetings only last 1 hour. It's your choice, if you want freedom and a better way of living I'd suggest going to AA meetings.

jdgualazzi

My husband doesn't know I drink and he's quite possessive, I can't go anywhere or do anything without him knowing and keeping tabs on me. I'm not much of a "socialite" I don't have too many friends, so I rarely go anywhere without him. It would be one thing if I could go and keep it private, but that wouldn't happen. Contrary to what many people will say, I'm sure, talking to him about it will not help things at all...it's not so much that I mind drinking (I don't drink until passing out)...it's just that I want to start getting back into shape and eating right and if I take one drink, it of course leads to more which kills the motivation to work out or do anything healthy, really. For instance, today, I didn't have a drink until just a few minutes ago, and I'm supposed to meet my husband at the gym in 45 minutes. I only have 2-24 oz Coors Lights, but I know I prolly will not want to go to the gym...however, my jeans are fitting the tighest ever today, and even though I've worked out with alcohol in my system before, it's not all that gratifying...

WEll just checking in...
Jenni

bikewench

Jenni...

"I'm powerless over alcohol... and my life has become unmanageable!!"

Step One.

Your post leads me to think your becoming aware of the extent of the problem. If you can't find your way to an AA meeting... maybe try to find a Big Book in the meantime.

Addiction is generally progressive Jen. This isn't going to fix itself.

jdgualazzi

hi bikewench, haha love the name. What's a Big Book? I've seen some book titles on here that looked interesting and that's something I could purchase and read in private...do you have any suggestions?

bikewench

Hey Jen...

Bike addict with an attitude here.. ;o)

The Big Book is the basic text for AA. You can probably find it at a library or used book store... or at any meeting..

Something else I would strongly suggest you take a look at is anything around codependancy. Melody Beattie... Codependant no More... to name one.

You certainly can start working on things in private. Lots of recovery is an inside job... take it as far as you can by yourself if that's what you need right now... but ... be open to going to any length ... okay? Lots of recovery is about attitude.

Anyone can change. Start with achievable baby steps...

Be praying for you gurl. Lots of help here... so stick around. ;o)

Grimnar

Hi Jenni -

Your situation sounds familiar to me.

Take action now for you health before it is too late, okay?

I agree with bikewench: reading and learning about codependancy has been key for me.

All my best to you.

Ashes

Keeping it a secret can really take its toll. I've been keeping this secret for over 3 years (I'm almost 27.) I've gone so far as to drive 45 minutes to go to a liquor store outside my own town so that no one I know would see me. I regularly would go to a different store each time so that the people there wouldn't think I had a problem. There are four liquor stores within about 45 minutes of where I live and I was a regular at all of them.

Not only did I waste money on alcohol, but also on gas! Does/has anyone else ever done this?

~ashes

Time2Surrender

Hi Jenni,welcome to SoberRecovery.This is a great place her.With lots of cool people and plenty of support.Have you tried AA yet? I am also a constuction worker and lived in Vegas for a couple years.They have some really good meetings there.

tenK

Hi Jenni,

I sent you a PM.

Ashes, I didn't drive out of town.. but I sure did rotate stores. I also would buy stuff that "camouflaged" the alcohol. Like I would buy grocery items that would make it look like I was getting ready for a party (cheese, crackers, grapes).. luckily I liked to eat those things!

At the liquor store, I would pretend to be really interested in the wines and ask questions. But, they could have sold me swill and I wouldn't have cared. After hundreds of bottles of wine, I still can't tell the difference between good and bad wine beyond "mm good." or "hm. not so good. oh well it's alcohol." I guess a real wine connoisseur doesn't say things like..."oh yes, this bottle has an oaky undertone with hints of cherry compared to the other one I tossed back an hour ago."

Chy

Hi Jenni and welcome!
We are the best at manipulating, decieving, coniving, and we're only fooling ourselves, others just love us to much to say anything. You'll find a great deal of support here, sober is good, not as scary as I thought.