100

well I started getting cravings for nicotine gum but the gas station next to my house only had vapes so i bought one and tried it. I don't even smoke used to but havent in 14 years. it sucked only made me anxious never trying that again. my head told me I needed it and I couldn't stop thinking about it so I gave in a did it. I knew it would suck but did it anyway. at least I didn't drink or use marijuana. man addiction is literally hiding under every rock. I'm never doing it again it only made light head and was nothing like smoking cigarettes. I'm okay though.
on a brighter note I'm officially doing step 4 soon like tomorrow I began, I did the 3 rd step pray with my sponsor and another aa member.
I know I have to do this soon.
David

Dee74

I'm glad you're making your way through the steps...this bouncing from addiction to addiction must be very tiring for you David.

D

100

I stayed up all night and basically vaped non stop and I told myself I had become physically dependent in a few hours and so basically had to keep doing it. which is ludicrous clearly not true yet and is just additive thought process that's lies to me. not going to do it again. im liked the feeling if I'm honest but i used it completely compulsively and at first it made me dizy but I still did it again. I feel like crap and didn't sleep at all last night. it's clear if something additive im going to get addicted to it.
I'm throwing the dam thing out. what I did was completely insane.
David

biminiblue

At some point you'll have to come to the realization that an outside substance or person is not going to be a long-term solution for any of your problems.

If you were honest about that 3rd Step prayer, then really dig in to that 4th Step.



God, help me realize that my problems are all of my own making. Therefore, so are the solutions.

100

I know I'm not intentionaly trying to do this, but this makes realize I use so many other things and abuse them(food and process addictions) to change how I feel. it's ingrained in who I am it's automatic in many cases.. I realize that's why I need to do my 4th step and I have all week off after Sunday so I can get a big part if not all of it done this week. I thought I could control the nicotine I couldn't. I was obsessing about it all week before I did it. I threw it away and I want to start living in the solution. I'm trying my best but addictions seem to come out from behind every door. so many compulsive behaviors as well that I can't stop no matter how hard I try.
David

biminiblue

Yes, you can.

Keep at it. I still struggle with food, David, and I've been working at that for nearly 20 years. It's a tough one for me, but I have gotten SO MUCH better. The worst of my addictions like smoking and drinking I can and did just completely give up but food is something that I can't completely give up so I have to use a whole bunch of different strategies.

We're with you. You're learning every day. Stay with us, and talk to your sponsor. You're okay. God loves you.

100

well after only one day I already was in withdrawal from
nicotine which surprised me. I felt fine until 10 am when the cravings kicked in and the urge to use nicotine was overwhelming. Anyway I got some nicotine gum to help me come off the vape. I vaped 200 times yesterday and basically made my self sick. well had some gum and feeling better, I'm using it as directed. I'm only going to use when it gets really bad. plan to ween myself of it slowly. I only bought the gum because I was having urges to get some cigarettes and I don't want to do it. as a bonus the gum helps my anxiety a lot. honestly having the gum to use does take away desire to drink. it helps to have something.
David