was a dry drunk
I was a in a meeting and someone said if you did the steps right you should have changed. I realize I never had a spiritual awakening, in aas big book they say the same man will drink again. I did the steps but something was missing because I never had the radical reorganize of self people talk about in meetings. I was still scared and anxious all the time. I'm doing the steps again and I'm going to put thought in to each one. I realize I glossed over 2 and 3 just looking at as a stepping stone. sure I have higher power but something is missing. I didn't think much it and moved on. I know what I need to do now. know wonder I drank and used again because I still had untreated alcoholism. this needed to happen in order for me to get better. its not the substance that the problem it's who I am when I'm not drinking that's the problem. it is hell to be just dry worse than drinking. I can wait to get better to change for real this time.
David | 