craving so bad
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 476
craving so bad
man today I wanted to use so bad. I realize yes this is a relapse and scared I won't ve able to stop myself from doing it again. all my friends know what happened they told me they still loved me that meant the world . I'm feeling the true nature of my powerlessness' I realize I still believed I could handle pot. I can't and today I'm feeling devastated I feel like bawling my eyes out. I also realize how miserable I've been for awhile. I know I didn't let go appsolutly I wasn't letting people help me. I'm going to be real from know on
I was acting how I thought I needed to for people to like me.
i wanted friends so badly and so scared they would not like me.
what if I can't stop myself from using. it much harder than it was before. I'm not beating myself up because I honestly did my best and was as honest as I was capable of.
I recently went off with doctors approval a lot of meds ' and i feel much better but I was withdrawing off those meds when I relapsed . I think those meds where clouding my thoughts and keeping me from feeling.
I'm going to bed now.
David
I was acting how I thought I needed to for people to like me.
i wanted friends so badly and so scared they would not like me.
what if I can't stop myself from using. it much harder than it was before. I'm not beating myself up because I honestly did my best and was as honest as I was capable of.
I recently went off with doctors approval a lot of meds ' and i feel much better but I was withdrawing off those meds when I relapsed . I think those meds where clouding my thoughts and keeping me from feeling.
I'm going to bed now.
David
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,420
Tomorrow is another day- It's great that you didn't use today- keep going until you get your balance again. With your sober time, you know what's best for you, David. You can do this- you have done it before and this is a blip- get the support you need by asking in your support group. You can stop.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Try and not panic David - I stayed off pot after using it daily for about 30 years...even tho this is not your first time round, you've used it for a week or two....
You can stay strong and stay clean and sober
D
You can stay strong and stay clean and sober
D
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
There are some links here that may help, anyway:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ful-links.html (Recovery Toolbox - helpful links)
D
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ful-links.html (Recovery Toolbox - helpful links)
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 743
Maybe instead of do my friends like me, you need to ask do I like my friends? I sense that you are probably OK with your friends. If not you figured out how to get these friends so you can probably figure out how to get new ones if you have to.
If it were me and my own spiritual path I would look at this as more of a sin then relapse. I have a huge history with weed. I tried it out at 9 years old and smoked every single day from late teens to late 20s. Late 20s to early 40s smoked on and off until I stopped drinking. I would probably decide i need weed while high and get stuck with a bag for a little while. Possibly buy it along with opiates to use to come down from smoking crack.
My weed use is a completely different animal then my drinking. A completely different allergy and completely different obsession. I never looked for weed to bail me out of emergencies. Emergencies, like the anxiety that would fire up after walking into a crowded bar. I would get high and feel too high to drive. I never got drunk and thought I better smoke a doob before I drive. (Though my drunk AV may suggest cocaine to get home safely).
For me i think smoking weed would be a sin because it is something that would detour my spiritual path. Sometimes we have to choose between what pleases the spirit and what pleases the flesh. When the spirit is in control both usually benefit. When the flesh is in control its usually a disaster for both.
Sin starts in the mind so a lot of this probably comes down to that steps 4 through 7 stuff.
I would repent and move on. You did not allow the poison of alcohol back in and start this day 1 game again. There is anxiety and then there is the supercharged anxiety of a hangover. I think weed and too much choosing the flesh over the spirit can lead to relapse but its not starting this whole mess over again.
If it were me and my own spiritual path I would look at this as more of a sin then relapse. I have a huge history with weed. I tried it out at 9 years old and smoked every single day from late teens to late 20s. Late 20s to early 40s smoked on and off until I stopped drinking. I would probably decide i need weed while high and get stuck with a bag for a little while. Possibly buy it along with opiates to use to come down from smoking crack.
My weed use is a completely different animal then my drinking. A completely different allergy and completely different obsession. I never looked for weed to bail me out of emergencies. Emergencies, like the anxiety that would fire up after walking into a crowded bar. I would get high and feel too high to drive. I never got drunk and thought I better smoke a doob before I drive. (Though my drunk AV may suggest cocaine to get home safely).
For me i think smoking weed would be a sin because it is something that would detour my spiritual path. Sometimes we have to choose between what pleases the spirit and what pleases the flesh. When the spirit is in control both usually benefit. When the flesh is in control its usually a disaster for both.
Sin starts in the mind so a lot of this probably comes down to that steps 4 through 7 stuff.
I would repent and move on. You did not allow the poison of alcohol back in and start this day 1 game again. There is anxiety and then there is the supercharged anxiety of a hangover. I think weed and too much choosing the flesh over the spirit can lead to relapse but its not starting this whole mess over again.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: 49 degrees north
Posts: 1,036
I think that the one thing most who successfully quit will say is...it gets better. The time it takes may vary. But, in time, your body and your neurology will accustom to "normal." Normal isn't always nirvana. There be snakes! But, day in, day out, it is the most skillful and joyful way of being.
Consider exercise when cravings are at their peak. Worked (and continues to work long after cravings have stopped) for me. Physical fitness is a very important component of my near 11 year recovery from alcohol, pot, and tobacco, and I will be 75 in a couple of weeks. Put that in your pipe and smoke it!
Warren
Consider exercise when cravings are at their peak. Worked (and continues to work long after cravings have stopped) for me. Physical fitness is a very important component of my near 11 year recovery from alcohol, pot, and tobacco, and I will be 75 in a couple of weeks. Put that in your pipe and smoke it!
Warren
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