Sobriety and Dealing with Loss
Life is Grand
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,039
Sobriety and Dealing with Loss
** This may trigger, if death is a problem, probably should not read **
Just two days ago, I held my mom's hand as she took her last breath. I am numb. I feel such a range of emotion it is indescribable. It was not expected, I was the one who found her and called 911. I saw her the day before and she was ok. My last words to her were "I love you and I will see you tomorrow". Spent the next day at the hospital with my brother and son, with no hope of regained brain activity, the decision to end life support was made, it was what she wanted, she always told us not to keep her alive on a machine. I can't remember when I cried that much (still crying). I can't help but think, what if I was not sober? How long would she have been on the floor? I would not have been there to help her in the last years. I would never have been able to let her go with peace and dignity. I would have left my brother to deal with the loss alone. Right now, I am so very sad, I miss my mom so much. I am confused, scared, unsure of the future. Most of all, I am sober and will stay that way. There is nothing in this scenario that wouldn't be 1,000 times worse if I was drinking. If you are reading this and are the praying type, my family could use some.
Thanks, Cathy
Just two days ago, I held my mom's hand as she took her last breath. I am numb. I feel such a range of emotion it is indescribable. It was not expected, I was the one who found her and called 911. I saw her the day before and she was ok. My last words to her were "I love you and I will see you tomorrow". Spent the next day at the hospital with my brother and son, with no hope of regained brain activity, the decision to end life support was made, it was what she wanted, she always told us not to keep her alive on a machine. I can't remember when I cried that much (still crying). I can't help but think, what if I was not sober? How long would she have been on the floor? I would not have been there to help her in the last years. I would never have been able to let her go with peace and dignity. I would have left my brother to deal with the loss alone. Right now, I am so very sad, I miss my mom so much. I am confused, scared, unsure of the future. Most of all, I am sober and will stay that way. There is nothing in this scenario that wouldn't be 1,000 times worse if I was drinking. If you are reading this and are the praying type, my family could use some.
Thanks, Cathy
I will pray for peace of mind for you and your family. Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,336
Oh Cathy, my heart goes out to you and your brother, and any other family affected by your great loss.
What a gift your sobriety is to your Mom, and your family. I’m grateful you got to be with your mom in those last few moments. I was with mine too, and it is such a wonderful blessing. So many don’t get the chance to say how much they love another, or the “Im sorry”.
Thank you for sharing this vulnerable part of you with us, your sober family.
Big hugs and prayers,
L
♥️🙏🏼
What a gift your sobriety is to your Mom, and your family. I’m grateful you got to be with your mom in those last few moments. I was with mine too, and it is such a wonderful blessing. So many don’t get the chance to say how much they love another, or the “Im sorry”.
Thank you for sharing this vulnerable part of you with us, your sober family.
Big hugs and prayers,
L
♥️🙏🏼
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,906
Hi Cathy,
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost both of my parents within a year of each other. My mom passed 2 years ago. My dad, last year. I went through a huge range of emotions.
Here's what I did. Let yourself feel it. Don't try to bottle it or push it away. Talk about it as much as you need to and be extra kind to yourself. (that one is very important)
Most importantly....You honor your loved ones by living productively and living as they would have wanted you to live. To laugh and love and not to hurt yourself with destructive behavior. I honor my parents by being the kind of man I was, am, and they knew at my best, in sobriety. That's what I owe them, and myself. The rest just takes time.
I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
Hugs,
Jeff
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost both of my parents within a year of each other. My mom passed 2 years ago. My dad, last year. I went through a huge range of emotions.
Here's what I did. Let yourself feel it. Don't try to bottle it or push it away. Talk about it as much as you need to and be extra kind to yourself. (that one is very important)
Most importantly....You honor your loved ones by living productively and living as they would have wanted you to live. To laugh and love and not to hurt yourself with destructive behavior. I honor my parents by being the kind of man I was, am, and they knew at my best, in sobriety. That's what I owe them, and myself. The rest just takes time.
I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
Hugs,
Jeff
Life is Grand
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,039
Originally Posted by BullDog777 
Hi Cathy,
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost both of my parents within a year of each other. My mom passed 2 years ago. My dad, last year. I went through a huge range of emotions.
Here's what I did. Let yourself feel it. Don't try to bottle it or push it away. Talk about it as much as you need to and be extra kind to yourself. (that one is very important)
Most importantly....You honor your loved ones by living productively and living as they would have wanted you to live. To laugh and love and not to hurt yourself with destructive behavior. I honor my parents by being the kind of man I was, am, and they knew at my best, in sobriety. That's what I owe them, and myself. The rest just takes time.
I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
Hugs,
Jeff
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost both of my parents within a year of each other. My mom passed 2 years ago. My dad, last year. I went through a huge range of emotions.
Here's what I did. Let yourself feel it. Don't try to bottle it or push it away. Talk about it as much as you need to and be extra kind to yourself. (that one is very important)
Most importantly....You honor your loved ones by living productively and living as they would have wanted you to live. To laugh and love and not to hurt yourself with destructive behavior. I honor my parents by being the kind of man I was, am, and they knew at my best, in sobriety. That's what I owe them, and myself. The rest just takes time.
I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
Hugs,
Jeff
Cathy
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
