VikingGF

Sometimes falling off makes us get back on stronger. You haven't lost anything- you still had 76 days and you felt how good that was, right? Now, you just start back and you think long and hard about what happened and recommit to it never happening again. It was horrible, right? The end result is you feel terrible. So, you never do that again. Have a plan, do not put yourself in a precarious position and be very protective of your sobriety. Do not make this into a huge thing- it was a bad move, you made it, it's over, now focus on moving FORWARD. Understand it and move on. Lamenting it will drag you down and you do not need that. Many of us have fallen but getting back up is the important thing- and the fact that you are here the very next day is HUGE. It's ok- just keep going FORWARD and you will get where you want to be. You can do this.

Lautca

Hi, StartingLife. No two alcoholics are the same, and there are a lot of roads we can take to get to sobriety. Some of those roads can get to be awful rough in spite of our best efforts to do everything right. It sounds like you just found out how rough your own personal road to sobriety can be.

Now, even though every alcoholic is different, there are some things we do have in common! One of those things a lot of us alcoholics have in common is not making it to permanent sobriety on our first attempt. It took me from 1980 to 1997 to get it right, 17 years. I'm not the perfect example of how to get sober!

But what I'm getting at is that it can be done, and a good part of how I did it was ACTIVELY and consciously looking for the causes of why I was drinking, and then getting them out of my life so I would be less tempted to take that one drink later on, which would end my sobriety. Alcoholics who want to stop drinking must become detectives, of sorts, to find the problems in their lives that cause them to drink. Things like aches and pains and other medical problems, psychological problems, etc., and then actually do something to get rid of those problems. If you don't get rid of things like those, your ability to stop drinking will be greatly diminished - I guarantee that getting rid of as many problems in your life as you can will be a big help in getting sober.

Another way of looking at it is I got better and better at finding out how to become sober.

So, in your case, after 76 days, perhaps you are now a little better at being sober than you used to be. But there is one more thing you might do, which is look back through your 76 days of sobriety, and think about any changes you might make that will make your life a little nicer. I know that becoming a multi-millionaire and getting a maid and butler are not realistic, but is there anything within reason you can do or change? View this as a learning experience, not a failure - which many others have already pointed out. Take a good look at it and analyze what was going on. From what you already wrote, I think you've already figured out some things, so, keep looking for more.

One more very important thing! I've been sober for a very long time, but that doesn't mean that my struggle has ended and I can just sit back and take it easy from here on out. NO WAY! Every once in awhile, something very unexpectedly pops up from my long-ago past that bites me in the butt hard enough to remind me that alcohol is still my Number One Enemy.

A good thing I can tell you is the vast majority of alcoholics who have long-time sobriety say that the more time you have sober, the easier it is to stay sober, which includes my own experience. Hopefully, this will give you something to hang on to, as well as look forward to. Good Luck!

dwtbd

I think you need to reflect on the exact thought you were having when you went up to the rum bar , and then especially the thought you had the second you tipped back the first drink.

For me it would have been I wanted to get drunk, fullstop.

To quit and end my addiction , I had to come up with a plan against drinking even if I wanted to.

Whats your plan for future use ?