LazaB

I always read about how the first few months are the hardest , and i know it's always going to be hard but can anyone explain how different the beginning stages of sobriety are to the rest of your life ?

Zebra1275

For me during the 1st year I was very vigilant about drinking. I went to many AA meetings, read a lot of alcohol recovery books, and checked in with my monthly sobriety group on this website everyday single day.

I'm now in my 13th year of sobriety and I never think about drinking. I stopped going to AA meeting several years ago, and I donated all of my alcohol recovery books to others who could use them. I still log onto the website briefly, several times a week, but my purpose for doing that is totally different.

For me the difference between my 1st year and my 13th year is huge.

saoutchik

Hi Laza, my experience was that the first six or seven weeks were extremely tough because of the physical craving and the mental conditioning (drinking was what I did when not at work) For some months after that I had the relief and pleasure of not having those cravings but still very aware that I was a drinker who had recently stopped because of course, not drinking still felt new and different.

After you move into the second year and you have your second sober birthday, Easter, Christmas, summer holiday, whatever, the drinking you starts to feel more distant, almost like someone else. Feeling like a non drinker very gradually becomes the default setting and apart from a little vigilance it requires minimal effort

zjw

First year was about staying sober at all cost and just trying to get thru daily life. It was very difficult for many reasons

second year was more of that but not has hard in that regard I spent a lot of time struggling to figure out wtf I am.

11 years now I’m still kinda trying to figure out who I really am. But I do have a healthy example I’ve created for myself.

i still think about drinking but it’s more a fantasy of sorts. I doubt I’d seriously do it again. I don’t ever wanna go through that quit process again it was just so awful.

i don’t feel some burning desire to go buy beer or something each day all that obsessing over it is long gone.

i try to pay attention to the former addiction tho because I want to be sure I don’t do it again. I also want to be mindful of my mental state so I don’t feel inclined to do it again.

it’s easier at 11 years but life still throws me lots of problems. Alcoholism and the problems it causes however are no longer in the lineup

Farrier

I'm at day 113 and my first time trying to get sober.

Month #1 over emotional and blamed everyone else but me

Month#2 over emotional, blamed mostly everyone else, but recognized I too might be part of the problem, guilt and shame starts

Month#3 still emotional at times, starting to finally see I was the problem, guilt and shame start to overwhelm me

Month#4 emotional highs and lows, little confused about what direction I want to go, but I know I want to stay sober, becoming more selfish about my sobriety and starting to weed out people in my life, thinking more about my future (with or without my wife) as long as I stay sober

Dee74

Apologies if you're not musical, but I liken it to guitar in a lot of ways Laza B

in the beginning my fingers bled I found it hard to make chords and I had no idea of the theory behind playing music....but I kept at it...

I listened to people who had the kind of musicianship I wanted and incorporated their ideas...I started to play music with people who supported me and my growth, my fingers healed, they developed calluses and I was able to play chords and lead to a proficient level...

my knowledge of the music theory behind it all grew with that.

What was a chore in the beginning was now a joy...what was once something I had to work at constantly was now second nature to me

BullDog777

The first year for me, I was just trying to figure out how I was going to have to structure my life in order to survive my past.

My last bender lasted 4 years. My doctors told me I'd never survive another detox. For me, it was almost easier that way. For in my case, it really was do or die time. I was all out of chances.

So that old saying " If you put 1/2 the effort you did drinking, into recovery, you'll get this." I went all in. After I got out of the hospital, I went directly to IOP (intensive outpatient program) and then straight into Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and then went to a psychologist to deal with my trauma. Almost 7 years in, I still go every week.

So in my first year, everything in my life, every action I took, it was centered around one question "Is this good for my sobriety or bad for my sobriety?" If it was bad, it had to go. Simple as that.

Every craving I had, it was dealt with the same way. I was taught to think through the ENTIRE relapse. Not just the few few drinks. What would happen after that. So every time I thought about picking back up, it was "OK ...what happens next?" I would imagine that after a few drinks, I'd go back to drinking through the same shame, rage, and hopelessness I had held onto for most of my life. Thinking forward, now my family has to deal with the fact that I gave up. That I decided that drinking was more important to me than they were. Right about this time I would start going through horrible withdrawals all over again. The shakes. The constant vomiting. The inability to eat and the GD seizures that always came. And then I would be dead. Every scenario I painted, if I was truly honest, all ended the same way. Inevitably it all landed back with me being dead.

So this was the foundation I laid to build myself back again. And I did.

That was the first year.

Now, here's some heavy s#!t....I lost both of my parents in sobriety, got diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver and buried about a dozen friends from covid, suicide and one failed lung transplant.

If someone had told me that this was what was in store for me when I got to the ER the day I got sober, I would probably have never even tried to get my life back together. I was one of those people who felt everything so deeply, I would have probably bet against myself to make it though any amount of time, clean. But I did. An here's the KICKER.....

I NEVER EVER thought I would be able to process such loss and be able to tell you all of the good that has come from my sober life. That I TRULY love my life now. That i wake up with a renewed hunger to live and not just exist trapped inside of a bottle.
I don't think about drinking anymore. I don't think about taking drugs anymore. I think about how I can be a better husband, father, friend and relative to all of my extended family. I think about trying to help people who ask for help, how to make it through this horrific nightmare and let them know that there is a beautiful life ahead of them if they just hang in there and refuse to give up. That this world is open to all things if you just give yourself the chance to do the work.

So year 2 through almost 7 has been about reaping the emotional rewards of getting that F****ng monkey off my back and being who I was always meant to be.

That's pretty F'ing cool. That's how it's different for me.