AL48

After listening to a podcast recently where a now adult who lived with an alcoholic parent wanted to understand as much as possible about how her parent must have felt before they eventually died (RIP).
She spoke to a man who had quit and felt would have been in the same place if he kept on drinking.
She struggled with the reasons her parent couldn't stop after trying many times to do so, she would also feel guilt herself for what she felt was not helping enough. The man told her about his own struggles. how he was afraid to go to the doctor and a lot more he also made sure to say the blame wasn't hers.
So this struck a nerve with me.
I also feared going to the doctors for help. I was afraid firstly of the shame i thought I would feel, would i be judged but also how much damage i did to myself and what would i do? How would i explain this to my family?
This was something she felt her father was feeling that he put himself in this situation and didn't deserve help. That a hospital bed was wasted on him and someone more deserving should be in it.
Lucky for me it was never the situation i had to deal with only i waited to go to the doctor for 6 months after i quit still nervous of what might be found. Not advisable nor a smart thing to do to wait so long. The doctor was very kind and sensitive and offered future help if needed.
It was just interesting to here i wasnt the first to feel the same way "The fear".

TorontoGuy28

Thanks for sharing.

Yes, fear and anxiety/shame etc. is our disease being active.

Many, including myself had to solve for living sober, medicated with alcohol for too many years.

When we remove the alcohol, from alcoholism - we must learn to live with "ism". Often referred to as Emotional Sobriety.