Think I'm about to relapse.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Miami , Florida
Posts: 25
Think I'm about to relapse.
I have felt this moment coming for a while, but I think I am at the point that I want to start drinking again. The daily cravings and the depression that causes them are slowly wearing me down. I just can't seem to manage my life, I feel like I'm going to have to take a class to learn what everyone takes for granted. I have been sober for a year and a half(I think) and am wondering if I really want to do this. I stopped on my own without outside help, but I feel lonely, isolated, scared to reach out, and feel like a loser for crying about it-I wish I had a hug.
Guest
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HUG !!!!
This too shall pass.
Have you tried meetings and support. Do you have a sponsor. It's times like this that you need PEOPLE.
It's not going to make it better if you drink. It will only get worse. Don't look at life from the way you feel today. Don't throw it away because things don't feel right today. Accept the way you feel and keep going.
Maybe you could see a doctor and try some medication to help with the depression.
I don't have answers the way others do here, but I do have a hug.
You can handle it just for today.
MG
This too shall pass.
Have you tried meetings and support. Do you have a sponsor. It's times like this that you need PEOPLE.
It's not going to make it better if you drink. It will only get worse. Don't look at life from the way you feel today. Don't throw it away because things don't feel right today. Accept the way you feel and keep going.
Maybe you could see a doctor and try some medication to help with the depression.
I don't have answers the way others do here, but I do have a hug.
You can handle it just for today.
MG
But Very, Very Bruisable...
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Palm Springs, Ca.
Posts: 548
First...
Right here, right now, you DO NOT have to drink tonight. And I understand completely the feelings of being alone and isolated. Pick up your phone and call AA. You don't have to DO anything, just share whats going on with the person who answers. There is no obligation to go to a meeting, there are no fees, just a talk with someone who has been where you are and is now sober. Log off, pick up the phone, and save your life...a day at a time.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
It is good you are reaching out here. At least you recognize that you are not in a good place with your recovery right now and seem to want to do something about it...and picking up a drink isn't the answer, but I know you know that too.
If you are afraid to go to an AA meeting, why don't you call the AA phone number in your phone book and just talk to someone. They will not twist your arm to go to a meeting, but they will offer some suggestions that may help, and if you do decide to go to a meeting, they will be there to support you too.
You do not have to do this alone.
Or call your doctor, and maybe they can recommend some counselling and/or medication that is safe to help your depression.
In recovery there will always be good days and bad days, but when the bad days linger too long, it is time to reach further for some help.
Good luck and God Bless.
If you are afraid to go to an AA meeting, why don't you call the AA phone number in your phone book and just talk to someone. They will not twist your arm to go to a meeting, but they will offer some suggestions that may help, and if you do decide to go to a meeting, they will be there to support you too.
You do not have to do this alone.
Or call your doctor, and maybe they can recommend some counselling and/or medication that is safe to help your depression.
In recovery there will always be good days and bad days, but when the bad days linger too long, it is time to reach further for some help.
Good luck and God Bless.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Miami , Florida
Posts: 25
Thanks for the support. When I quit I got really depressed and found caffeine to be a good substitute. Today I down caffeine like crack and actually get high off of it-but it's not the same. As for AA, I don't believe in God or a higher power. I have a hard time letting others in and tend to seperate myself from those who get to know me out of shame. I'm just glad someone is here to listen-thanks.
Guest
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I know how that feels. I carry shame with me too. I have to force myself to have contact with people even though it causes that feeling of shame.
Does the shame come from childhood or is something in the present that causes you to feel that way.
MG
Does the shame come from childhood or is something in the present that causes you to feel that way.
MG
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Miami , Florida
Posts: 25
The shame has manifested itself in different forms over the years. Now it revolves around the fact that I can't support myself and am in a dead end job. My few friends met me at this point andare now leaving me behind,and I can't even bring myself to talk to them. I have lost many good friends because of shame.
Guest
Posts: n/a
Read this post and see if it relates to the way you feel.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...&threadid=4099
Also, maybe there are small steps you can start taking to improve your life. Set some goals and take the steps necessary.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...&threadid=4099
Also, maybe there are small steps you can start taking to improve your life. Set some goals and take the steps necessary.
Paused
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: CA
Posts: 25
Good Morning Thinkingofwhen22....It sounds like your in a rut. The newness of sobriety seems to have worn off. After all you've been sober now for a year and a half. This sounds pretty normal to me. After some time in sobriety I got bored with just staying sober and my old thoughts and ideas came back on me. Don't worry about it. Remember why you got sober in the first place. Nothing has happened to change the situation. Your still an alcoholic and your life will definately go in the toilet if you drink. Am I right?
Get involved with a group. Attend more meetings. You'll feel uncomfortable at first, everyone does, but little by little you'll make some friends. Go to coffee afterwards. Have you got a sponsor? Keep posting here. What step are you on? Read the Big Book. Pages 83 and 84 were particularly helpful to me. But open the book at random and start reading, you'll be surprised at what you find.
Don't worry about believing in God. But it's important to beieve in something. I used the group as my Higher Power. They were staying sober and were reasonably happy and I wasn't. So I wanted what they had. If you don't like one meeting, go to another. You'll find one that you feel more or less comfortable in. I'm talking to much but one last piece of advice that was very helpful to me was.... Take what you can use and leave the rest. Don't ever forget why you're staying sober and good luck.
Get involved with a group. Attend more meetings. You'll feel uncomfortable at first, everyone does, but little by little you'll make some friends. Go to coffee afterwards. Have you got a sponsor? Keep posting here. What step are you on? Read the Big Book. Pages 83 and 84 were particularly helpful to me. But open the book at random and start reading, you'll be surprised at what you find.
Don't worry about believing in God. But it's important to beieve in something. I used the group as my Higher Power. They were staying sober and were reasonably happy and I wasn't. So I wanted what they had. If you don't like one meeting, go to another. You'll find one that you feel more or less comfortable in. I'm talking to much but one last piece of advice that was very helpful to me was.... Take what you can use and leave the rest. Don't ever forget why you're staying sober and good luck.
It is what it is!!!
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Sobriety
Posts: 5,767
I can only say Ditto to the above posts.
Call the AA hotline, just to have someone to talk to. I volunteer once a week on the NA hotline in my area. Sometimes people call me just cause they want to talk, they are thinking about using and want to talk. If they want to go to a meeting I tell them where one is but if they don't I just listen sometimes that is all we need, someone to listen to us. Call I promise there will be a friendly voice on the other end, who will listen to you, no matter what you say.
And if you want to go to a meeting, go. You don't have to believe in God, just believe that there is a different way to live, and you don't have to drink.
Call the AA hotline, just to have someone to talk to. I volunteer once a week on the NA hotline in my area. Sometimes people call me just cause they want to talk, they are thinking about using and want to talk. If they want to go to a meeting I tell them where one is but if they don't I just listen sometimes that is all we need, someone to listen to us. Call I promise there will be a friendly voice on the other end, who will listen to you, no matter what you say.
And if you want to go to a meeting, go. You don't have to believe in God, just believe that there is a different way to live, and you don't have to drink.
Guest
Posts: n/a
OVERCOMING GUILT and SHAME IN RECOVERY
Guilt is a reactive feeling to a mistake. We make the amend, and we feel better. Guilt can be good, if we respond to it appropriately. If guilt had a voice, it would say, "You made a mistake."
Shame is different. It is not a feeling or an emotion as much as it is a belief about ourselves. It is also a bad feeling that doesn't go away, no matter how good our performance. If shame had a voice, it would say, "You are a mistake." There's a world of difference between guilt and shame. Someone has said, "Shame is the judge within us that pushes us to perform, and then condemns us anyway." So how do we "get past" the shame?
First: Stop believing the lie that you are worthless.
Second: Share honestly and openly with someone who has your best interests in mind.
Third: Accept the truth that human beings do make mistakes.
Fourth: Take responsibility for your actions and your emotions.
Fifth: Decide what you believe, what your values are, and then live by them.
Guilt is a reactive feeling to a mistake. We make the amend, and we feel better. Guilt can be good, if we respond to it appropriately. If guilt had a voice, it would say, "You made a mistake."
Shame is different. It is not a feeling or an emotion as much as it is a belief about ourselves. It is also a bad feeling that doesn't go away, no matter how good our performance. If shame had a voice, it would say, "You are a mistake." There's a world of difference between guilt and shame. Someone has said, "Shame is the judge within us that pushes us to perform, and then condemns us anyway." So how do we "get past" the shame?
First: Stop believing the lie that you are worthless.
Second: Share honestly and openly with someone who has your best interests in mind.
Third: Accept the truth that human beings do make mistakes.
Fourth: Take responsibility for your actions and your emotions.
Fifth: Decide what you believe, what your values are, and then live by them.
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