Sponsorship issue

Old 05-02-2022, 02:52 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 33
Sponsorship issue

I've been sponsoring a young woman since the pandemic started...couple years now.....took her through the steps. We did all that on zoom on a weekly basis at least an hour a week. She is finished working all the steps but still relies heavily on the weekly zoom call. We recently moved to a new area and I am now going to face to face meetings where I am meeting women who need sponsors. My sponsee is doing great and is sponsoring other women. I would like to take the time I was giving to her and use it to help other women who need guidance through the steps. Of course I would continue being her sponsor but just not able to give her the same amount of time. How have others here dealt with an issue like this? I don't want her to feel rejected/abandoned and I'm not sure how to explain this to her. I've never had any woman I sponsor rely so strongly on lengthy scheduled weekly calls....after we finished step work. Suggestions are welcomed, thanks in advance!
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Old 05-03-2022, 09:36 AM
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biminiblue's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
You might ask this over in the 12 Step forum for more feedback, but I would say that you have to be honest and have boundaries with all your sponsees. What does your own sponsor say about it?

I would say to the first one, "I'm going to be increasing my service time in my area face to face with newcomers. You are doing so well, and you are so capable! I'm so proud of you! I will still be available to you if you need me but just on a more limited basis. I'd like to limit our weekly phone calls to XX number of minutes," (whatever you feel is fair and reasonable,) then it's up to you to enforce that boundary.

If she needs more guidance there are plenty of other AA ladies, you're not the only one who can help her. I would think it would be good for her for you to be encouraging her to find her own way now.
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Old 05-06-2022, 08:36 PM
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sugarbear1's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,964
I've worked with my sponsor no less than one hour, usually 2-3 hours, each week for the past 10+ years. We work on discussing spirituality and other topics of spiritual growth or we read and discuss books. My sponsor meets with their sponsor weekly, too.

Everyone works the steps slightly differently.

Can you wean her into relying on her higher power and with her sponsoring others? Keep stressing the 12th step and reliance upon a higher power since they will keep her sober.
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Old 05-07-2022, 06:05 AM
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 33
Thanks to you both for your thoughtful responses. Really appreciate it!
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