SarahSmiles12

Worsening hangovers are common as we're getting ready to get sober. Thank God someone put me into a locked down clinic. I had public health insurance which was the best for that. Longer stay. A year later I went back and got off Benzos. You can do it too. I told someone I didn't want to live and thank God I did. I felt safe there. And I never had to drink again.

Karthas

Join the DUI club lol... Yeah I've been there before. Can I ask how are u dealing with your depression or anxiety than? Did you luck out with prozac or something to help your mood? Because that's why I drank alcohol was for depression relief and anxiety I'm not having much luck with meds I'm trying buspar and an SSRI currently. What worked for your mood?

Karthas

that's what I need is to be at an inpatient place how do I get into one? The doctors seem to do everything they can to not admit me. Do I have to say I'm suicidal? Because something has to give here. How are you dealing with your anxiety or depression did you find a medication that worked?

ScottFromWI

If you feel inpatient is where you need to be, then do whatever you can to get there.

Regarding medication for anxiety and depression, it's important to remember that most of them are ineffective while you are still drinking. Alcohol itself is a very powerful central nervous system depressant, so it can counteract many anti-depressants, and also have very unpredictable results when mixed with any other drug. I am a diagnosed GAD/health anxiety sufferer and quitting drinking was the singlemost effective step you can take to get on the path to recovery.

AKA - when your house is on fire, you need the fire department to put out the fire. You will need to rebuild/repair the house at some point but if you don't put it out you'll have nothing left to work with.

Evoo

That's because they aren't just "hangovers" anymore, you are experiencing chemical withdrawal -- addiction. Yes, it's absolutely horrific. It's part of what kept me in a cycle of drinking and relapsing for so long. The twitching, the despair, the crushing anxiety and inescapable feeling of mortal terror... many of us have lived that (and many here are living it now). I also obsessed over health and whether I had caused permanent damage to my internal organs and nervous system.

Luckily, the damage was not permanent. For many, health issues caused by alcohol can be healed or managed with treatment.

But it takes time, your body needs to heal - then you mind and spirit need to heal. But the only way to lay the foundation for that recovery is to lay the first brick. Sobriety. Alcohol is straight poison to an alcoholic - there is no moderate amount that is safe.

I recommend seeing a doctor if you can. Lean into your program. I never did AA or anything like it, but I did lean into SR and my wife (who is a therapist) when I needed to talk. You really can do this.

Edit: Oh also to address the second note, I totally understand why you're on the lookout for a "replacement," but I've been down that road. I tried it with marijuana. I've even tried it with intensive daily diet and exercise. These efforts to "replace" alcohol have always failed me. I had to rebuild myself from the ground up and find real healing, to find a version of myself who didn't need to be constantly filling that void. Quit drinking (with rehab or even a medical detox if you need it), be 100 percent honest with your doctor and get every test under the sun, then start the long journey to understand your addiction and heal through therapy or treatment. All of these things are important.

I'm only a year fully sober, but so much great advice here. So many wise and thoughtful people with decades of sobriety under their belts. Learn from them . Good luck and lean into SR!!

Obladi

From what you've described, it seems like you've gone to the hospital and asked them to find the problem. Medical professionals are trained to respect the patient. If they don't find anything physically wrong with you and you don't mention that you have no desire to live anymore, they won't necessarily think that's something they need to ask.

Yes, when you go to the Emergency Room or when you call the rehab, you need to say, "I am struggling with finding a reason to live and I don't feel safe." Or whatever words you can put together that are honest and make the point that you are in grave danger - because you are, Karthas. The withdrawals you are experiencing could literally kill you.

I've found medication that helps with anxiety and depression, but it didn't make much of a dent until it was properly dosed by medical professionals familiar with addiction and I was alcohol-free. Benzos are a very bad idea for those such as us, so those definitely are not on the menu.

I know it's hard to find the words that feel honest and really express your desperate need for help. I know it because I've been there and it took several trips to the ER for me to actually own up to my own desperation - out loud, to people who were terribly busy treating other people in need. But your need is important, too. You are important enough to ask for help. Believe it. Do it.

O

Zebra1275

I will tell them I'm suicidal.... Flat out maybe that's the secret word for them to actually help u. Seems like that's my only option. ? What do u think....

That's a really dumb idea, and I doubt that it will work. .

The reason you can't get admitted to the hospital, probably has absolutely nothing to do with you. Many hospitals are so overwhelmed with Covid patients, that people with very significant health concerns (heart, late stage kidney disease, etc.) are being turned away. Getting admitted to the hospital because of alcoholism is pretty far down the list.

Go to a couple of AA meetings, today! And don't hang back and keep silent, ask for guidance from the group.

BullDog777

No disrespect intended here but he led the thread name with

"I'm probably killing myself if this goes on"

How exactly is that not a medical emergency? His withdrawal symptoms can be deadly in and of itself if he doesn't do this the right way. It seems like it's the general consensus that he's beyond "self help" and needs medical professionals. At this point, if it were me, I'd be screaming it from the rooftops if it got me the help I needed.

Having detoxed from both, I can tell you this combo makes detoxing the right way much more complicated. I couldn't do it and neither can most other people without medical help. What makes this detox infinitely more complicated is he's addicted to the medication that he needs to detox from booze.

I dunno-I'm no doctor but it was some terrifying stuff for me to try to manage.

Obladi

There are some situations that can not be addressed by more fervent application of AA. Even in the Big Book, it is recommended that the alcoholic should be hospitalized first to stabilize their medical condition. Advising that seeking medical help is 'stupid' does an injustice to AA and a disservice to the person who is suffering.

Karthas, you are experiencing a life-threatening emergency. People with life-threatening emergencies need medical attention. Forgive me; something in the way you post has me thinking that you may not have been completely straightforward with the medical professionals about your alcohol and benzo consumption/withdrawals. You've consistently requested advice on what medication(s) might be a replacement or might help you through this crisis. It seems like if someone told you the name of a miracle medication (of which there is none) to help you avoid the 'hangovers,' you'd be off to the gp to ask them to prescribe that medication. It's like you want to be armed with the name of the treatment so that you can tell the doctors what you need, perhaps to 'bother' them as least as possible.

I can't emphasize enough how important it is to be completely straightforward when you are seeking medical assistance. If you can't stop drinking/using (which you've said) and you can't work because of the side affects (which you've also said), and you're at the point of contemplating suicide (ditto), then you are in a bonafide medical crisis that needs medical attention. This counts even if you are 'only' sometimes thinking about finding a way not to live anymore, if the withdrawals are a little less bad today than they were yesterday, or if you're not drinking as much but need to take more valium to offset the twitches. I don't know if any of this last stuff is true for you - I'm just trying to make the point that this is not getting any better on its own and your need for help should not be minimized by you or anyone else.

Have you looked into these resources Nez posted earlier?O