Old 12-23-2021, 08:00 AM
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I must admit this christmas for the first time this festive season i was really tempted.
Im lucky enough to be here in France with my wife and kids and the French inlaws. Im out in the countryside no noise, fresh air, the open fire going inside, some snow outside to keep the teens happy and good food everywhere.
Last night it really hit me at apèro time. Nibbles before we sit for dinner a bottle of red open breathing and Papi having a whiskey.
Before i normally joined him on the free flow glass of my favourite Jameson some ice and i would knock back the first one and go for a second.
I dont know what came over me but for a second i nearly asked for one. It felt much longer but it was there.
Then dinner, the red wine good food the cheese my mouth was watering.
Thankfully i got through it all and woke up very happy this morning.
I really didn't expect this feeling.
Everyones great and not asking or pressuring me to have one or anything like that its just i have to do it all again for the next 3 day's. I'm really surprised i got this way and really felt upset inside, i suppose thats why im on here writing to you all.
Im guessing its something to do with getting away for the first time in 24 months after only dealing with this at home in Ireland.
Anyway that's me at the moment stressed out but staying strong. Thankyou for listening and letting me get this of my chest.
Happy Christmas, Holidays and all the rest everyone.
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Old 12-23-2021, 08:28 AM
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I am glad you got this off your chest Al. s

It is a beautiful setting and it is hard not to romanticise the drinks by the fire etc....talking about it is good.....what would happen if you did have one? I know if it was me it would then be many more than one and the weekend would be ruined....possibly for the people around me. I know you know that as well.

I don't think we need to be upset with ourselves for our thoughts....the point is you did not join your papi for a drink or drink the wine at dinner. You made a choice to honour yourself and your journey. You made a choice to be the sober person you want to be. I think you can be very proud of yourself dear Al ❤️
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Old 12-23-2021, 08:46 AM
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Thankyou i really appreciate that. I will honour my promise because i made it to me and i won't break it this time round. I dissapointed myself and those around me before and didn't like that feeling to say the least. Thanks again.
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Old 12-23-2021, 09:11 AM
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I could not stay sober till I fully committed to the recovery program of Alcoholics Anonymous. One part of that recovery program is meetings. There are plenty of online meetings these days ( ). You might consider checking in on one while you're on vacation even if you're otherwise "meh" about A.A.

linked by permission AAWS Inc.

Last edited by Dee74; 12-23-2021 at 12:42 PM. Reason: All links need the disclaimer
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Old 12-23-2021, 10:28 AM
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Thakyou for the advice
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Old 12-23-2021, 12:46 PM
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Hey AL

yeah those rosy warm memories are hard to beat but the reality is I’d still be drinking a week, 2 weeks, maybe a month later, living amongst empties and other rubbish unbathed and uncaring, full of self hatred and visceral pain.

Its the first drink that starts the madness again, Tell the AV to hop it.

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Old 12-23-2021, 03:20 PM
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Well done AL. Keep reminding yourself that you don't want to put yourself back where you started. The dopamine disaster that will happen if you drink again just isn't worth it.
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Old 12-23-2021, 03:43 PM
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Yes, I get that too, the romanticising around drinking it's easy to do and sometimes feels hard to shake off. So well done for coming here and getting it off your chest.
It's all fake those romantic notions of alcohol - it's poison that ruins our lives, we can do normal or moderate, so we do not drink it!
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Old 12-23-2021, 05:34 PM
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“..and woke up happy this morning” <—-the gift you give yourself that never gets old , in years of mornings I have yet to wake up disappointed in myself for not having drunk.
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Old 12-24-2021, 02:50 AM
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Thanks guys its passed for now. It just felt unexpectedly strong. Ive been so confident lately not wanting or needing any alcohol for months and this caught me by surprise. All good again today though, just back from shopping and heading for a walk which is always good for me. Thankyou again everyone for your support and understanding.
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Old 12-24-2021, 03:10 AM
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Great AL....I'm happy your sobriety is strong enough to side step the Christmas gremlins. Posting before you allow yourself to even contemplate it is always a good idea. Well proud of yourself
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Old 12-24-2021, 07:08 PM
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Glad you nipped it in the bud AL. Even though they were strong feelings, they were indeed just feelings - and you did the right thing by talking it through and asking for help. It also may help for you to accept/understand that it's perfectly normal to get those urges/feelings from time to time. Most of us drank for a long time, so it's not like the old habits and/or feelings just dissapear for ever. Don't let them surprise you again - accept that they will come and then deal with them just like you did this time.
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Old 12-24-2021, 11:33 PM
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Thankyou everyone
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