Creating New Habits
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Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
With each passing day I have more gratitude for being sober. ITS A RELIEF!
Getting sober means a hell of a lot more than just putting down the drink. All the stuff gets worked on. All of it.
I read that article BB. I am going to implement all the suggestions in the article.
I took yesterday off. Why? Because I am honoring myself and needed rest. I've been struggling with early early mornings and it started to take its toll. This is not from the lame dramas at work. I can handle that ******** even if I think its complete ********. I just needed to sleep. Almost the entire day was sleeping, eating, watching The Goldbergs and more sleep. I am feeling much more myself now and ready to tackle waking life. My health is probably the most important thing to me these days. My family too. Everything else is not that important.......So, I took care of myself and I took care of my cats. My S.O. and I fell asleep extra early.
Yesterday:
NO EMAILS
No spending of money
Spiritual practice for 20 minutes
Sober. GRATEFUL TO BE SOBER!
Studied a bit for the floral design certificate (I have 2 units to go)
Took a run around the hood
Took a bath
Went to sleep.
Slept.
More sleep.
Getting sober means a hell of a lot more than just putting down the drink. All the stuff gets worked on. All of it.
I read that article BB. I am going to implement all the suggestions in the article.
I took yesterday off. Why? Because I am honoring myself and needed rest. I've been struggling with early early mornings and it started to take its toll. This is not from the lame dramas at work. I can handle that ******** even if I think its complete ********. I just needed to sleep. Almost the entire day was sleeping, eating, watching The Goldbergs and more sleep. I am feeling much more myself now and ready to tackle waking life. My health is probably the most important thing to me these days. My family too. Everything else is not that important.......So, I took care of myself and I took care of my cats. My S.O. and I fell asleep extra early.
Yesterday:
NO EMAILS
No spending of money
Spiritual practice for 20 minutes
Sober. GRATEFUL TO BE SOBER!
Studied a bit for the floral design certificate (I have 2 units to go)
Took a run around the hood
Took a bath
Went to sleep.
Slept.
More sleep.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
Back to very early mornings. THANK YOU, Daylight Saving Time!......or the ending of Daylight Saving Time.
3 am wake. YAY! How wonderful. ..........
Also, since I have been working super hard to change this year the one thing I would like to do is change the drama that comes into my life. I have a role. I play a part. We all play the main character in the play that is our lives. Actions to take: Chanting for relief. Chanting for change. Do not engage. Do not show emotion. DO NOT REACT! Do not surrender. NO mercy.
Cobra Kai!
I CAN DO THIS!
Yesterday:
No emails.
Spent A TON of money on Tires (YAY!)
spiritual practice for 20 minutes
read for 30 minutes
ate a donut
3 am wake. YAY! How wonderful. ..........
Also, since I have been working super hard to change this year the one thing I would like to do is change the drama that comes into my life. I have a role. I play a part. We all play the main character in the play that is our lives. Actions to take: Chanting for relief. Chanting for change. Do not engage. Do not show emotion. DO NOT REACT! Do not surrender. NO mercy.
Cobra Kai!
I CAN DO THIS!
Yesterday:
No emails.
Spent A TON of money on Tires (YAY!)
spiritual practice for 20 minutes
read for 30 minutes
ate a donut
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
The last three days have been about resting and rejuvenation. Sleep. Exercise. More sleep. More exercise. Food.
Movies. Sleep. Exercise. Washed the dishes. I have not been stressed. I have been taking care of myself and TODAY I feel like conquering the world again! I slept A TON last night. YAY!
Spiritual practice for 20 minutes
NO EMAILS. I have now gotten out of the habit of email checking and it FEELS SO FREEING! my time is my own again
No money spent
Read. I have a project due with this Floral Certification and then its TWO more units and I am Floral Design Certified. YAY!
No dessert
Onwards and upwards to an amazing day!
Movies. Sleep. Exercise. Washed the dishes. I have not been stressed. I have been taking care of myself and TODAY I feel like conquering the world again! I slept A TON last night. YAY!
Spiritual practice for 20 minutes
NO EMAILS. I have now gotten out of the habit of email checking and it FEELS SO FREEING! my time is my own again
No money spent
Read. I have a project due with this Floral Certification and then its TWO more units and I am Floral Design Certified. YAY!
No dessert
Onwards and upwards to an amazing day!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
Karma. Good and bad.
In Nichiren Buddhism there is a thought that obtaining good Karma and getting out the bad karma is like turning on a hose.
Initially the water comes out with dirt and is muddy. The more we chant, getting rid of the dirt, the more our hose will run with clear pure water. I have some dirt in my hose. Working out the old behaviors and chanting for clarity to overcome my challenges. The dirt is not as muddy as it was in the beginning but I still see there is a block with some stuff. Change does not happen overnight.
As much as I don't want to operate off of old behavior and get stuck in places......I need have a bit of compassion for myself and know that I will get to the change eventually. Chanting is a mirror. Sometimes it is really hard to look at yourself.
I CAN DO THIS!
Spiritual practice for 20 minutes
NO EMAILS
NO spending of money
I got a free haircut. YAY!
Slept well enough
Reading in the am.
SOBER. Very very sober.
OFF TO MAKE THE DAY AMAZING! Over and out!
In Nichiren Buddhism there is a thought that obtaining good Karma and getting out the bad karma is like turning on a hose.
Initially the water comes out with dirt and is muddy. The more we chant, getting rid of the dirt, the more our hose will run with clear pure water. I have some dirt in my hose. Working out the old behaviors and chanting for clarity to overcome my challenges. The dirt is not as muddy as it was in the beginning but I still see there is a block with some stuff. Change does not happen overnight.
As much as I don't want to operate off of old behavior and get stuck in places......I need have a bit of compassion for myself and know that I will get to the change eventually. Chanting is a mirror. Sometimes it is really hard to look at yourself.
I CAN DO THIS!
Spiritual practice for 20 minutes
NO EMAILS
NO spending of money
I got a free haircut. YAY!
Slept well enough
Reading in the am.
SOBER. Very very sober.
OFF TO MAKE THE DAY AMAZING! Over and out!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
Yesterday:
Did all the stuff.
No emails
spiritual practice for 25 minutes
Reading
Dessert. I had dessert and watched The Morning show. I don't really like how this series is going. Its a bummer.
Excited to have TODAY and to make it count. I will rise to the occasion and overcome any challenges that come my way.
Onwards and upwards!
Did all the stuff.
No emails
spiritual practice for 25 minutes
Reading
Dessert. I had dessert and watched The Morning show. I don't really like how this series is going. Its a bummer.
Excited to have TODAY and to make it count. I will rise to the occasion and overcome any challenges that come my way.
Onwards and upwards!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
I was working yesterday and thought it was Thursday. It was quite the surprise to learn it was FRIDAY! A couple people said "Happy Friday" to me and in my head I was like "Yeah, yeah! Good for you! I've got another day to go." I mean, I was happy for THEM and their Friday. I just didnt know it was also my Friday.
I must of seemed rude or mute. I dont really care what I seemed. Apparently I was confused.
Hysterical!
ME to Coworker: This is a serious question. Is it Friday?
Coworker: Yes.
Me: Are you sure?
Coworker: Im 100% sure.
Me: WOW!
Yesterday:
All the stuff. Did all the things.
No dessert.
Fell asleep before 8 pm....
Got in my course work. Its cleaning day around this house.
Run. Clean. Eat. Read. Nap. Pet the cats. Talk to cats.
BE.
I must of seemed rude or mute. I dont really care what I seemed. Apparently I was confused.
Hysterical!
ME to Coworker: This is a serious question. Is it Friday?
Coworker: Yes.
Me: Are you sure?
Coworker: Im 100% sure.
Me: WOW!
Yesterday:
All the stuff. Did all the things.
No dessert.
Fell asleep before 8 pm....
Got in my course work. Its cleaning day around this house.
Run. Clean. Eat. Read. Nap. Pet the cats. Talk to cats.
BE.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
I have an email friendship with a Teddy Bear. His name is Bear. He lives with my friends out in the valley. Bear and I exchange our life happenings. It is really a lot of fun to write a Teddy Bear and then to hear his response. Sometimes I am sent pictures of him sitting in a chair or playing cards or staring out the window.......
He is really a misunderstood Bear with lots to say about his caretakers and how they do not know how to take care of him. Bear asked if he could live with me? I've never lived with a Bear and I am not sure If Little Miss and Mr. Max will like him? Anyways......
I was thinking that I will try to get these emails printed out and then create a small book as a gift for my friends. It would be neat to have these conversations between Bear and I in a child's book format.
The things we do to keep ourselves entertained.
Yesterday:
ALL THE THINGS.
Cleaned like crazy
Slept enough
Awake at 3:30 am. YAY!
He is really a misunderstood Bear with lots to say about his caretakers and how they do not know how to take care of him. Bear asked if he could live with me? I've never lived with a Bear and I am not sure If Little Miss and Mr. Max will like him? Anyways......
I was thinking that I will try to get these emails printed out and then create a small book as a gift for my friends. It would be neat to have these conversations between Bear and I in a child's book format.
The things we do to keep ourselves entertained.
Yesterday:
ALL THE THINGS.
Cleaned like crazy
Slept enough
Awake at 3:30 am. YAY!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 464
..."Getting sober means a hell of a lot more than just putting down the drink. All the stuff gets worked on. All of it..."
Very well stated. Relationships improve, physical and emotional health improves, and old nasty habits start to fade away. Nice work!
Very well stated. Relationships improve, physical and emotional health improves, and old nasty habits start to fade away. Nice work!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I go through periods where I wake at 3AM and have to get up, it's usually when I'm letting some issue in my life get to me. When I pray for a good night's sleep and to have a quiet mind it really helps.
...also, mouth tape.
...also, mouth tape.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
I dont have any pressing issues on my mind these days. Surprising. Ive noticed that my mental world is quieting down a lot. I dont want to jinx myself here. .... But my mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health all seem to be healthy at this moment. THANK SOBRIETY FOR THAT!
Another 3 am wake up today. Im rolling with it.
Yesterday:
Did all the things
Read. No money spent. No emails. No destructive this and that.
Took a 4 mile run in the early morning.
I have a stun gun/ flashlight coming. Nothing like a bit of protection when Im out there in the dark.
We have a plan for Thanksgiving centerpieces. All the supplies are ordered. Planning and execute.
I am GRATEFUL for my coworker. We call her "The Machine." She will run circles around most people and not break a sweat. She works diligently, quietly and methodically. When the two of us are working together we can accomplish just about anything we put our minds to. Running multiple departments is a breeze when she is on shift. So SO SO THANKFUL AND GRATEFUL! There is no "I" in TEAM!
Onwards to a productive day!
Another 3 am wake up today. Im rolling with it.
Yesterday:
Did all the things
Read. No money spent. No emails. No destructive this and that.
Took a 4 mile run in the early morning.
I have a stun gun/ flashlight coming. Nothing like a bit of protection when Im out there in the dark.
We have a plan for Thanksgiving centerpieces. All the supplies are ordered. Planning and execute.
I am GRATEFUL for my coworker. We call her "The Machine." She will run circles around most people and not break a sweat. She works diligently, quietly and methodically. When the two of us are working together we can accomplish just about anything we put our minds to. Running multiple departments is a breeze when she is on shift. So SO SO THANKFUL AND GRATEFUL! There is no "I" in TEAM!
Onwards to a productive day!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
Slept in a little later. Im taking an herbal supplement with melatonin. Not every night. Im trying to get myself on a normal sleep pattern. As long as I am energized, productive and staying level then I am good.
My spiritual practice is literally changing my life. I can feel its effects throughout my day and the positivity that is unfolding cannot be explained. Its a feeling. A centering. A profound thing. It is called the mystic law for a reason. It is very very powerful. This is what I know to be true at this moment.
Did all the things I set out to do yesterday.
Today I shall conquer and succeed in whatever comes my way!
Onwards and upwards.
My spiritual practice is literally changing my life. I can feel its effects throughout my day and the positivity that is unfolding cannot be explained. Its a feeling. A centering. A profound thing. It is called the mystic law for a reason. It is very very powerful. This is what I know to be true at this moment.
Did all the things I set out to do yesterday.
Today I shall conquer and succeed in whatever comes my way!
Onwards and upwards.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
Did all the things yesterday.
Dealt with a challenge yesterday and was not rocked by it. Usually the challenges that come up would have me in a tail spin.
Even though I am thinking about it and navigating I am not emotional nor I am putting a lot of weight into it. Signs of growth. I think?
Onwards and upwards to a productive day.
Dealt with a challenge yesterday and was not rocked by it. Usually the challenges that come up would have me in a tail spin.
Even though I am thinking about it and navigating I am not emotional nor I am putting a lot of weight into it. Signs of growth. I think?
Onwards and upwards to a productive day.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
Silence. This is not the road I can walk anymore.
I got in self protection mode and became silent and inward with a particular situation. It has become a GIANT energy in my life.
One that was recognized and called out yesterday. I don't always know how to handle situations and I am not the best with being healthy with others. I can say I have reasons but those reasons or excuses or whatever they are cannot be used and they are only holding me back from growing. I cannot rely on this behavior as a means to an end.
Today:
I will face this challenge and will walk with integrity.
I will own my **** and I will do my best to overcome any issues I have. I will not create a mountain or wall. The wall and self protection is not helping and its only making matters worse.
I will not cry. I will be positive and not swim in anxiety and fear. I will not cry. Yesterday, I cried. I cried a lot. That is okay. Crying never hurt anyone.
I am done feeling this way. Onwards and upwards. Sober. I was emotionally drunk yesterday. It has been awhile since I went into one of those episodes. Today I resolve to be emotionally and mentally sober. Not toxic.
I got in self protection mode and became silent and inward with a particular situation. It has become a GIANT energy in my life.
One that was recognized and called out yesterday. I don't always know how to handle situations and I am not the best with being healthy with others. I can say I have reasons but those reasons or excuses or whatever they are cannot be used and they are only holding me back from growing. I cannot rely on this behavior as a means to an end.
Today:
I will face this challenge and will walk with integrity.
I will own my **** and I will do my best to overcome any issues I have. I will not create a mountain or wall. The wall and self protection is not helping and its only making matters worse.
I will not cry. I will be positive and not swim in anxiety and fear. I will not cry. Yesterday, I cried. I cried a lot. That is okay. Crying never hurt anyone.
I am done feeling this way. Onwards and upwards. Sober. I was emotionally drunk yesterday. It has been awhile since I went into one of those episodes. Today I resolve to be emotionally and mentally sober. Not toxic.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
Also,
I am so grateful to be learning and growing and to own up to all this humanness. Human. Its so hard at times. Dealing. Dynamics. People. Perspectives. Truths. Lies. Manipulations. Emotions. Doing the right thing even though its VERY VERY HARD and uncomfortable. It leaves room for behaviors to come out and I dont want those and me me me me me me me me me ........
Its all been about me.
I guess hitting the "IGNORE" button in real life does not actually work. That feature was only meant for the internet. Not people.
Note to self: Do not treat life or people like an internet function.
I am so grateful to be learning and growing and to own up to all this humanness. Human. Its so hard at times. Dealing. Dynamics. People. Perspectives. Truths. Lies. Manipulations. Emotions. Doing the right thing even though its VERY VERY HARD and uncomfortable. It leaves room for behaviors to come out and I dont want those and me me me me me me me me me ........
Its all been about me. I guess hitting the "IGNORE" button in real life does not actually work. That feature was only meant for the internet. Not people.
Note to self: Do not treat life or people like an internet function.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
I have been doing all of the things I need to do to keep myself steady and level.
This week is extremely busy. We spent the day yesterday making holiday centerpieces. I built a garland. The installation of a garland is a whole other ball game and one that I do not completely understand yet. That is okay. With enough practice and enough "tools" I can master and bring to life what I see in my mind.
Ive been spending a lot of time working on removing a wall in my brain. Hammer, jack, drill, ropes.....Im using all the things I can to get past some internal/ mental wall. I've been suffering to an extent and then also laughing hysterically at myself because I see what this is and I just have not made any significant headway.
My friend described it as a boat with some water. The water is being removed and I'm feeling good about how much water I am removing. I even got the radio playing and am enjoying the task. I got this. Its okay. Im singing. Enjoying the scene even if there is water in my little boat. Then someone comes along and they decide to add more water into the boat. I mean......So, if you are in my boat then your boat is without a Captain. Also, will you please stop adding in more water. When I get to the shore we can talk about this but for now.......Removing water. Carrying water. Chopping wood ,etc.
Some things take time. More time then we would like but I am not the creator of time and I cant just snap my fingers and "poof" its gone. Actually, I dont even know if that is true? Maybe I can just snap my fingers and CHOOSE to remove the block. I'll try it and then see where I land.
Onwards and Upwards.
This week is extremely busy. We spent the day yesterday making holiday centerpieces. I built a garland. The installation of a garland is a whole other ball game and one that I do not completely understand yet. That is okay. With enough practice and enough "tools" I can master and bring to life what I see in my mind.
Ive been spending a lot of time working on removing a wall in my brain. Hammer, jack, drill, ropes.....Im using all the things I can to get past some internal/ mental wall. I've been suffering to an extent and then also laughing hysterically at myself because I see what this is and I just have not made any significant headway.
My friend described it as a boat with some water. The water is being removed and I'm feeling good about how much water I am removing. I even got the radio playing and am enjoying the task. I got this. Its okay. Im singing. Enjoying the scene even if there is water in my little boat. Then someone comes along and they decide to add more water into the boat. I mean......So, if you are in my boat then your boat is without a Captain. Also, will you please stop adding in more water. When I get to the shore we can talk about this but for now.......Removing water. Carrying water. Chopping wood ,etc.
Some things take time. More time then we would like but I am not the creator of time and I cant just snap my fingers and "poof" its gone. Actually, I dont even know if that is true? Maybe I can just snap my fingers and CHOOSE to remove the block. I'll try it and then see where I land.
Onwards and Upwards.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
Running.
Sometimes I run to think. I run to run. I run for all kinds of reasons but......
Sometimes I run because my brain is not quiet and it feels unsafe to be listening to what it is saying. Not unsafe in a self harm kind of way, but my brain likes to go down memory lane and I personally think that is an unsafe place. I drown out the chatter and get off the memory lane by focusing on running up and down hills and just about everywhere until the chatter is non existent. Until the lane is in my rearview mirror.....so to speak.
This morning I ran up and down hills and all over the place. Ran until I felt exhausted. Walked half a mile home. It takes what it takes. That chatter is relentless at times.
Doing all the things I need to do to stay level.
Relaxing for the day now. Sober. Very very sober. Happily sober. Grateful to be sober. Thankful. Blessed.
I mean... emotionally and mentally sober? Working on it. Always working on it. Some days or weeks are great. Some days or weeks are like tightrope walking. Some days or weeks I'm just drowning in the ball pit. It it what it is. Here I am world!
Sometimes I run to think. I run to run. I run for all kinds of reasons but......
Sometimes I run because my brain is not quiet and it feels unsafe to be listening to what it is saying. Not unsafe in a self harm kind of way, but my brain likes to go down memory lane and I personally think that is an unsafe place. I drown out the chatter and get off the memory lane by focusing on running up and down hills and just about everywhere until the chatter is non existent. Until the lane is in my rearview mirror.....so to speak.
This morning I ran up and down hills and all over the place. Ran until I felt exhausted. Walked half a mile home. It takes what it takes. That chatter is relentless at times.
Doing all the things I need to do to stay level.
Relaxing for the day now. Sober. Very very sober. Happily sober. Grateful to be sober. Thankful. Blessed.
I mean... emotionally and mentally sober? Working on it. Always working on it. Some days or weeks are great. Some days or weeks are like tightrope walking. Some days or weeks I'm just drowning in the ball pit. It it what it is. Here I am world!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
The past few days have been very rough in terms of my mental health.
I cant specifically pinpoint what has triggered me, or rather my brain, but I am aware that this is not good and Its becoming concerning. I want desperately to not cycle through thought and some thoughts are intrusive. The intrusive thoughts are causing stress and I am very uncomfortable. I don't know what this is? I do know its a pattern. I do know that I need more tools. I do know that once the thoughts start they start to snowball and I am stuck in a loop. I am not able to get myself out of this loop easily.......
I did all the things that I needed to do yesterday. Calmed myself by running and distracting myself. Spiritual practice. No emails. No spending money. No destructive this and that.
This morning I ran and will go to work. I think I need to speak with a professional who specializes in anxiety or OCD or something .....Whatever this is .....
Have a good day, EVERYONE!
I cant specifically pinpoint what has triggered me, or rather my brain, but I am aware that this is not good and Its becoming concerning. I want desperately to not cycle through thought and some thoughts are intrusive. The intrusive thoughts are causing stress and I am very uncomfortable. I don't know what this is? I do know its a pattern. I do know that I need more tools. I do know that once the thoughts start they start to snowball and I am stuck in a loop. I am not able to get myself out of this loop easily.......
I did all the things that I needed to do yesterday. Calmed myself by running and distracting myself. Spiritual practice. No emails. No spending money. No destructive this and that.
This morning I ran and will go to work. I think I need to speak with a professional who specializes in anxiety or OCD or something .....Whatever this is .....
Have a good day, EVERYONE!
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