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Old 10-17-2021, 11:58 AM
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Originally Posted by BlakeV View Post
Creating new habits, *I like that*.

I did reset the sobriety button yesterday after an insane 2021 drinking.
YAY! So glad you are back to sobriety. Every step is worth it. Its all worth it. We are here for you! Onwards and upwards and ALL of the good things!
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Old 10-18-2021, 05:10 AM
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Yesterday:
Spiritual practice.
No emails.
No spending money on things I do not need.
Running and weights and abs.
Im listening to a book from Deepak Chopra. Its called the 7 Spiritual Laws of Success.
I did have dessert but I am now back to discipline today.

In the audio book it says to take time everyday to do nothing. No reading. No speaking. No electronics. Nothing. Just be there doing nothing. Deepak says the noise in the brain will eventually stop due to the lack of participation you are having with it. "I'm not going to keep talking if you are not going to participate" ......Cool! That sounds GREAT! Im in full support of my brain not talking and rambling on. Full support for it to shut the **** up! Respectfully. LOL!

I'm coming for ya Monday! Watch out. We got some positive and productive things to do. I wont settle for less.
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Old 10-18-2021, 06:00 AM
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A new habit I have is that I listen to this They Might Be Giants song called It's Good to Be Alive every morning. We shouldn't take being alive for granted, or granite either! (The video is a little weird, I can't really vouch for anything but the song. )


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Old 10-19-2021, 07:44 AM
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SNAZZY- I really like how you are waking to positive. Starting the day with intentions. Super Awesome! That song is good.

Yesterday:
No emails in the morning.
No spending money at work.
Spiritual practice for 15 minutes.
One soda and a small dessert. Im off track here...... I think I will be okay Getting back on track......This sugar thing is hard.
Listened to a book. Feeding the brain. I've taken to Deepak Chopra books for the time being.
Sober. GRATEFUL to be sober.

Its been over one year and I thought to myself yesterday that all of this feels so new. Every day feels NEW and I am learning so much about myself and others. A new day to conquer and to rise to our challenges. We are doing this!





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Old 10-19-2021, 11:12 AM
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I need to get back in the vegetable/fruit habit myself, just brought home some sweet potatoes and apples this morning after thinking/talking and not doing any doing the last few days. And I've got some killer broccoli in the freezer that's just sitting there too. I feel so much better when I'm eating a lot of vegetables, but it's easy to lapse into the takeout main course habit for me, go grab a burger or sandwich somewhere, and that's not doing my health any favors. Gotta think these things thru and take action to make certain I'm eating things that'll do me some good up the road, not just entertain me in the short term pleasure dept.
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Old 10-20-2021, 05:27 AM
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GOOD MORNING!
I got up earlier than usual. I feel rested.

Yesterday:
No emails
No spending of money at a place where I can spend a whole lot of money
reading for awhile last night
Listened to a book as well
spiritual practice for 20 minutes
No dessert
One San Pelligrino soda
SOBER. SOBER. SOBER.

Todays mission: To conquer any challenge that comes my way with positivity and with a solution oriented mindset.
We live in a negative society here in the US. Its everywhere really. Complaining, bad news, unhappiness, lack of gratitude. Im not a Pollyanna but I do want to be HAPPY and HOPEFUL. I do want to conquer over the inner dialogue and know that my time here on this planet was productive, useful and that I lived in the light. Onwards and upwards to a positive day!
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Old 10-20-2021, 07:56 AM
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congratulations (belated) on your full year of sobriety Mizz- you are an unending source of positivity and brightness. I wish you peace and happiness into year 2!
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Old 10-20-2021, 09:26 AM
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Originally Posted by Mizz View Post
We live in a negative society here in the US. Its everywhere really. Complaining, bad news, unhappiness, lack of gratitude. Im not a Pollyanna but I do want to be HAPPY and HOPEFUL. I do want to conquer over the inner dialogue and know that my time here on this planet was productive, useful and that I lived in the light. Onwards and upwards to a positive day!
I just discovered this thread, Mizz, and am really enjoying it. I love the way you express yourself!

That is so true about the anger and negativity - it has become pervasive, but you are a beacon of light and hope. You are so POSITIVE and UPBEAT, I sooo enjoy reading your posts.

I am sure your eye will be fine, and glad you are getting appropriate care and not ruminating on it.

My mind chatter is non-stop, The ease with which anxiety can creep in from a simple thought, or the way it will take me off course is amazing. I clearly need to read The Power of NOW again, and Silence, by Thich Nhat Hanh. Learn to be mindful, be in the moment, and let the thoughts pass.

I really have a problem with sugar. Love those San Pellegrino's - they saved my life more than once and I pretty much rotate through the Rossa, Limonata and currently have Aranciata in the fridge this week. I shoot for one a day but if I work in the yard it will turn into two. Better than booze in every way.

Keep up the great observations and efforts at positive change. You're an inspiration!

Congrats on making that year and keep it going!
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Old 10-21-2021, 05:42 AM
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Yesterday was a whirlwind of chaos. There was so much going on and so much energy from all directions.
As I drove to pick up my glasses an elderly woman took out a crosswalk sign in her car. I think she said she was in her late 80's. It was quite the destruction for her car and for the sign. I stayed with her until help arrived. Help was the form of police. She had dropped her husband off for a PET scan. He has cancer. She had a list of errands to run within that time. I felt real bad. Coffee all over the place. Her back window smashed in. She was really pleasant to be around even with her car being in the condition it was. She was embarrassed. Stuff happens. That street sign needed to be updated anyways.
I do hope everything turned out well and she was able to get her husband in time.

So, off to pick up my glasses and then CHAOS at work. Just lots of little things. People being people. Smoothies being spilled all over the place. Teenagers being teenagers. When the high school gets out for lunch we like to get on the intercom before they arrive and say "Everyone to their BATTLE STATIONS." We see them coming down the block in GIANT groups and we brace ourselves for the madness. Teenagers, not all of them but a majority of them, have no sense of personal space or that you are even standing where you are standing. They take up space and then they take up your space and then they are rude and chaotic and the entire thing is a sea of weird energy. Standing in huddles. Stealing burritos. Pushing. Acting tough. A lack of awareness.
So...... Ya. Two more days to go.

When the weekends are here I turn into a hermit. I pull my hoodie over my head and get real quiet. When I was a drinker I was very extroverted. I realize that I need to recharge and not be around people. No noise. No commotion. Nothing to disturb the lack of chaos around me for a few days. The chatter or inner dialogue is always happening but the quiet is something that I really cherish. I even ask my SO if he can not do all the things for a day. Just ONE day of us not producing noise. Please just no commotion.

No emails. Spiritual practice for 20 minutes. No spending money on stuff I didn't need. Listened to a chapter when I got home. My brain hurt some so I watched a show on tv. Fell asleep. Sober.

I applied to receive the Gohonzon yesterday. Its a scroll for Nichiren Buddhism practice. It is set up in the space that a person has devoted to their practice. Chanting sessions take place in front of the Gohonzon. Since the pandemic all Nichiren Buddhist centers have been closed and there has not been a way to go in and apply for the Gohonzon. In fact, there is not a place here in my area at all. I do hope to receive the Gohonzon. I told them in the email that I am too far away from an actual center and I cannot seem to find any person who practices Nichiren Buddhism. The paperwork/ application asks if you have a sponsor. Someone who is guiding you through the learning process. I have all the information I can have with the resources I have. I have taught myself. I feel really proud of what I have learned. Gongyo and Daimoku are spoken in Japanese. Gongyo is very complex and it has taken me many many months to learn how to pronounce and recite Gongyo. The power of the INTERNET is real! The power of determination and never being defeated is real.

Have a splendid day, ALL!
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Old 10-21-2021, 08:04 AM
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Cool stuff, Mizz!
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Old 10-23-2021, 01:32 AM
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Cool about your Buddhism, Mizz. Weird thing, the Rissho Kosei-Kai Buddhist Center is right up the street from me here in San Antonio, it's a Nichiren place. There's another Mayahana Buddhist temple even closer. I've dabbled a little into Therevada Buddhism myself, the Thai Forest tradition. I tried to set up a visit with that one temple but they never got back to me, still might drop by this Nichiren place and see what's happening there. I think they're opening up a little now.

Disclaimer: I'm a Christian first and foremost but still meditate 20-30 minutes first thing every day (now there's an excellent habit btw!) and still listen to dharma/dhamma talks. Very profound ideas, amazing that Buddha figured this stuff out around 500 BC or so.
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Old 10-23-2021, 06:08 AM
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Snazzy- Wonderful to hear about the centers in your area and that you are open to seeing what they have to offer. I am going to keep searching for a Nichiren Center here. I did find a Zen Center and I think I will email them to see what they might know. The Soka Gakkai has been emailed (Nichiren Buddhist Organization) and they also may lead me to other practitioners.

I was raised as a Christian and my extended family is Mormon. There is a lot of religion going on with my blood line! The beautiful thing about all of these belief systems is that they have a lot in common that nourishes the spirit. Prayer and meditation exists in one form or another with most of them. Its just so beautiful to me to see the commonality. I think if we as humans are doing right by others and ourselves then we are on the right path. Many many many roads to the same destination. Its all real and true. Lets keep praying and realizing and learning!

I upheld my goals for Thursday and Friday. Life got a little hectic at the end of the week and I focused on getting through. Nothing major. By 4 pm yesterday I was ready to come home and shut the doors to the outside world. Overstimulated. Tired. I tried to stay up until 9pm last night so I didn't wake up at 4 am this morning. I did not make it until 9pm but that is OKAY! My sober life has a whole different wake and sleep time. I am rolling with it. I never understood the idea of sleeping in anyways. It feels like wasted time to me.

On a different note, I do not know how I actually survived active alcoholism? Its astonishing to me how much I drank and how sick my mind had become. The dedication to my wellbeing and finding tools to stay sober has been one of my greatest accomplishments so far. I was deeply afraid of getting sober due to how my brain was operating. No light. Only dark. An anxiety disorder that was a menace to my life. Past trauma that wont be articulated here kept me from realizing my own potential for a very very long time. Months into my sobriety I knew that If I didn't find something to calm this brain and keep me focused that I would be hitting the wine shelves again. A feeling always crept in and that "feeling" was the catalyst to my destruction. When I woke this morning I was grateful. So happy to have one more day to focus and to be here. Sober. Gratitude is a GIANT gift and one that I think is essential in this life. Gratitude, giving to others, showing up, and believing in the endless potential that exists.

I wont be going back to that hole in the ground that has misery, self loathing and destruction in it. I know what that life is and that life is not one I am proud to live. This sober life is not hard. Active alcoholism is hard. Hangovers are hard. Emotional, mental, spiritual and physical illness is hard. This though...This thing we are doing that is worthy of our time and our hearts is not actually hard. Its learning. Its growing. Its uncomfortable at times but uncomfortable never hurt anyone.

YAY!


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Old 10-23-2021, 09:04 PM
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Definitely feeling your lists and goals OP. Congrats on 2 years, and desire to improve.

For me, it's like ever since things opened up in my area, I'm spending again, and I could really use a morning and night routine that's anything but mine as it is right now.

I used to practice and do service in the SGI community in my town. I can't get myself to chant for more than 30 seconds right now, and sort of lost touch when I "started a new life" and the person that introduced be to the practice passed away. I can definitely see how the lower worlds are driving me to unnecessary drama and suffering right now.
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Old 10-24-2021, 05:57 AM
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YAY and congratulations on stepping into your second year of sober you, Mizz.
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Old 10-24-2021, 06:12 AM
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NYCLifer- It is so good you posted here. I think there was a reason for you to run across this thread. I am very new to Nichiren Buddhism but the one thing I do know is that encouragement to get back to practice is a part of this. So, I encourage and hope for you to start your practice again. I know you have experienced the benefits of this practice and will experience them again. You can do this!

Yesterday:
Practice in the morning and then sleep. Lots and lots of sleep. No emails.
No reading. No worries though. Its nice when my head doesn't become a Olympian with twists and turns and crazy moves of thought. The head stuff is one of the biggest reasons why I started chanting.

I did eat dessert at 9am. Yes, 9 am and I was eating cherry pie. It was wonderful!

I feel very rested this AM. I have a few chores to get to and a run to run but it will be another day of quiet and rest. I am grateful for my health and the fact that my life allows me to unwind and just be. There was WAY TOO much drama when alcohol was involved. Blessed and alive!

It is raining so intensely here. Im surprised we are not floating on down the river right now. My cats are in. They are fed and happy and dry. Everyone is alive and well!

Happy Sunday!
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Old 10-25-2021, 05:27 AM
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My lower back despises the rain and cold.
Up early to take Aleve and then to wait for it to kick in. Monday has come quickly.

Yesterday:
Spiritual practice
No emails.
Small amount of reading
No money spent
Ate two donuts.......... Back to discipline today!
Spent my time wisely by watching Squid Games. I refused for the longest time and then......I was hooked.

Todays mission:
Conquer any and all challenges. My mind is a challenge so I am going to try to conquer that first. Quiet down the noise in there. There is nothing happening for my mind to be so rambunctious. This is what I live with though. For now. I live with this for now. Baby steps to a brain that doesnt talk so much.

Have an amazing day!
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Old 10-25-2021, 03:49 PM
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Heartened to read of all your good rhythms and routines -
Squid Games - Yep - Hooked and now finished - who knows what I can watch after that......
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Old 10-26-2021, 07:24 AM
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Sacroiliac Joints are screaming at me. I realize now that I need to take NSAIDS around the clock until this inflammation goes down. So, NSAIDS IT IS!

I was able to achieve some really large goals at work over the last few months. The information was shown to me yesterday. Margins were off in 4 areas. I manage 3 areas with beauty, supplements, houseware and floral. Beauty and supps are combined in theory but separated when it comes to crunching numbers. I set about to tackle every single area and make sure cost, price, quantity and sales were accurate. It has taken A LOT of work. I dont know how it all got scrambled but I knew I could correct it.
I think the pandemic, my active alcoholism, stress and possibly being BURNED OUT lead to my areas falling apart. It was not just one thing. It was almost everything. Its too much to go into but I MADE IT! I succeeded. GOOOOOO TEAM! GOOOO TO NEVER BEING DEFEATED! GOOOO TEAM! (I just cant stress this enough)

Yesterday:
Spiritual practice for 20 minutes.
No reading.
Tackled some bill stuff and personal financial steps last night
Drank a soda and ate a donut (this is not out of control but I really want to knock out this dessert thing. I dont need dessert every single day. I say this but then when it comes down to it, I am eating donuts and not giving a ****! )
No emails

Im going to listen to my book on audible when I get ready for work today. This makes up for my lack of reading last night! In my mind it makes up for something and Im just rolling with it. Rolling with it all! Rolling on the river.

Have a wonderful glorious positive super day!
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Old 10-26-2021, 07:44 AM
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I'll help.

TeeHee.

A donut is 300-500 empty calories of mostly inflammatory ingredients, which erases all the good you are doing with your running and weights. It takes more than 30 minutes of running to get back to even on the calories. The sugar, weird fats, and flour will cause inflammation that is counter to your pain relief efforts. Plus for me it sets up cravings.


A bowl of 100g non-fat Greek yogurt with 100g of fresh fruit and 7g of walnuts? So satisfying to body and spirit!

156 Calories, 18g Carbs, 0 Saturated-Fat, 13g Protein, 11% daily Calcium, 39mg Salt

...do the next right thing.
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Old 10-26-2021, 08:19 AM
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If anything is going to get me to change it would be the fact that I am creating the inflammation and I need to stop. I cannot live on NSAIDS, donuts and prayers. lol!

Thank you for this, BB!

TODAY IS MY DAY! I am NOT eating sugar today. I will reduce this inflammation with one choice at a time. Wise anti-inflammatory choices. Wish me luck! Its rough out there.

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