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Old 05-20-2022, 08:42 PM
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Yes you can, and yes you ARE 🎊🎏🎁😁
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Old 05-21-2022, 05:56 PM
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Hi, Miss,
As you navigate the professional water—the real stuff— let me weigh in on the running shoes thing. For years I tried to figure out the perfect shoe. I'd find one I liked and then they'd change the shoe or discontinue it and I'd be devastated. Devastated meaning injured. The wrong pair would result in small but debilitating injury. Then I found the magic answer: Rotate back and forth between two or three pairs—different brands. I literally haven't been injured since. I have come to believe, non-scientifically, that those of us who put lots of mileage on our feet need said feet to have different ways to land.
For what it's worth.

Best of luck with the job thing
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Old 05-21-2022, 08:52 PM
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Why have I never thought of this shoes rotation thing? Seriously. WOW!

So my new brand of shoes showed up and they are going to do the job. They do not fit my feet like Mizuno did but I am ready to accept this new shoe and see what it can do. So, Ill report back on the new Brooks shoes. Also, I think I will buy another pair and rotate. I need a little time for that though....These things get pricey!

I spent the day writing a proposal. This 8 page masterpiece has a table of contents, a cover, an entire breakdown of the job, the staffing, the objectives, the accomplishments, the future. It has just about everything needed. I am going to buy a report cover tomorrow and then submit this masterpiece to the bosses on Monday.

If anything, it was a great exercise in writing a proposal, advocating for staff, and the departments, and utilizing my professional writing voice. It was a positive experience. One that I can just let go of now. Taking the first step to create change is the goal. If I dont take this step, I dont really know if anything will change. I mean, I get frustrated at times thinking things wont change....like the other day. I think that attitude is defeating actually. So, I am aiming towards positive change and positive results. We will never know unless we ask. Ask for whatever it is you might need to fulfill the mission.

Also, this proposal is not the only solution. Its ONE solution. If its a "NO" then lets find another solution. Its there. The solution is there. I will keep aiming for the answer and keep moving forward. We can do this!

I also found myself down at the batting cages today. So, I dont ever hit balls that are flying at fast speeds towards me with bats. There I was though, trying my hardest to hit these fast balls with a stick and HOPING these balls did not hit my eye. They didnt.
Im not the best at this batting thing. In fact, I just looked like I was in battle and attacking everything that came my way. I think.....I have a bit of potential to be good at this bat thing. I mean, Beyonce did not become Beyonce without hard work and dedication.

So, I guess the question is this? Do I want to be good at hitting balls with bats at the batting cage? No.
I showed up for my friend who invited me randomly in the early afternoon. I want to be GOOD at showing up for my friends. So, If she invites me again Ill gladly battle the balls flying at me. Its not all about me! Its about showing up for a friend....Even if that means you absolutely suck at the activity.

Great day today. Im feeling healthy.
Have a great night, SR!

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Old 05-22-2022, 08:17 AM
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I love your posts, Mizz. You may not be great at batting cage but you're great at writing. I'm no expert but I'd even say you're better at it than a lot of pro writers are, for real.
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Old 05-22-2022, 02:13 PM
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What SD says. ❤️🤓

And rotating shoes? Nothing short of BRILLIANT
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Old 05-22-2022, 03:18 PM
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Home Run!
The proposal is NOW finished. I thought it was finished yesterday, but there I was at 5 am hammering away working towards perfection. Its professional and well designed. Structured with thorough detail and clear objectives. It holds clarity. Skill. Determination. Words like: Employee engagement, margins, experience, education, recouping losses, momentum.....Profit. On and on and ON! I think Im just repeating myself here....

It contains the entirety of my professional brain over the course of two days. Edited and edited some more. More editing. More clarity. More editing. Housed in a proposal binder and ready to be placed in my two bosses mailbox tomorrow morning. Its over NOW! I did my part. The work will speak for itself.

This is that moment where you either run or keep forging ahead. Where you can doubt yourself and doubt your abilities. I have none of those feelings. I am not scared. I do not doubt my abilities, or my work, or what I am capable of doing in this life. I might not be Babe Ruth but........Im something!


BTW.....My spouse has helped me to brainstorm on writing. He thinks I should take a creative writing class. This is so my brain can focus on subject matter and I'm not confused as to what I am to write about. I think this is the biggest hurdle with this writing thing. The subject matter. When I looked into online magazines (is that what they are called?) for creative writing submissions, the short stories seemed way out of my ball park. Descriptive words that I would never use or even think to use. I have to remember that I have my own voice. Perhaps the creative writing course will give me a bit of direction, and help me to hone in on my voice. There have been numerous people saying to get on the writing train. I don't know the destination and unfortunately I am not a "Fly by the seat of my pants" kind of person. I need direction and structure and safety and and and........

Things I don't want to write about:
Past trauma. Past prison stays as a child. Homelessness. Religious abuse. More Trauma. Abusive family members. You know all the stuff that generates a certain amount of pain that I locked up behind a door and welded shut. I'm older now ....I'm stronger now. I can probably get in there without being harmed. I'm not sure if I should go in there alone? I'm just going to keep FORGING ahead and whatever comes comes. I hear the message and I am working towards the goal.

I do have some writings that took a lot of time to produce. They sit beside me face down.

The Book:
She once was a wino. Now she is not.
The end.





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Old 05-22-2022, 03:44 PM
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Wonderful, mizz. My past traumas are book worthy, and now and again they pop us uninvited. And sometimes I DO invite them in, as I’m trying to discover why sometimes I make mountains out of molehills in my head.

Big hugs
🤓❤️
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Old 05-22-2022, 06:50 PM
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Thank you, Snazzy!
Thank you, Free!
Truly. Thank YOU!
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Old 05-23-2022, 07:31 AM
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I think we are supposed to write about what we know. I'm not sure who said this and I am wondering if I told myself this? I don't think I did. It sounds good though. Write about what you know.

So, I was sitting outside yesterday and I thought about the roller skates I had as a kid. White with hot pink wheels. I thought about how much I loved rolling around, on the hot asphalt, listening to my walk-man with George Michael blaring into my ears. I also thought about how I still love to hit the pavement but I have running shoes now, and to no surprise, I still listen to 80's pop jams.

I wrote about that experience. The feeling. The escape. The method I found to think, and be, and breathe, and self nurture.

Sober. Monday.
Happy.
About to chant for clarity and purpose.
Keeping the wheels on the bus one day at a time.
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Old 05-23-2022, 08:54 AM
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Originally Posted by Mizz View Post
So, I was sitting outside yesterday and I thought about the roller skates I had as a kid. White with hot pink wheels. I thought about how much I loved rolling around, on the hot asphalt, listening to my walk-man with George Michael blaring into my ears.
George Michael!
Brings back memories. I haven't heard that name or any of his music for a long time.
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Old 05-23-2022, 07:56 PM
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Originally Posted by FindingMyNext View Post
Hi, Miss,
As you navigate the professional water—the real stuff— let me weigh in on the running shoes thing. For years I tried to figure out the perfect shoe. I'd find one I liked and then they'd change the shoe or discontinue it and I'd be devastated. Devastated meaning injured. The wrong pair would result in small but debilitating injury. Then I found the magic answer: Rotate back and forth between two or three pairs—different brands. I literally haven't been injured since. I have come to believe, non-scientifically, that those of us who put lots of mileage on our feet need said feet to have different ways to land.
For what it's worth.

Best of luck with the job thing
Yikes, Mizz— sorry for calling you Miss— it was autocorrect and I didn’t catch it!

Also —agreed that running shoes are expensive. If you have a couple pairs, though, they last twice as long. Obviously.

I always have a pair going out and a pair coming in. So I’m never buying 2 pairs at once. It just takes one time of buying an extra pair and you’re back on schedule! Hope that makes sense!
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Old 05-24-2022, 06:14 AM
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FindingMyNext- Autocorrect has a mind of its own.
Operation rotating shoes will happen just as soon as Operation Laundry room floor tile is done. It makes sense. Also, with the implementation of this new idea, I just might find another brand that makes my heart sing.

Im signing the divorce papers with Mizuno Sportswear Co in the coming weeks. My decision to move on with my life has been a hard one to make. I've become less satisfied and more frustrated in this relationship. My last pair of running shoes turned out to be abusive to my left foot. So, Its time to see if the grass can be greener elsewhere. I know the grass is not always greener but maybe....just maybe..... Brooks will treat me better. We have gone on one date thus far. A walk around the home building store and some trips around the house. I'm hesitant to open up to this new shoe. They do not present themselves as cushiony as Mizuno. They also do not fit me like I am adjusted too, but I have to remember they are not Mizuno. They are a whole new shoe.

Maybe this is the "I'm seeing you, but there is not a commitment" relationship? Maybe I never commit again. My heart is still broken from this divorce. This forum tells me how wonderful the other shoe brands are, but I have been in a very long long relationship with Mizuno. I've never strayed. Mizuno has changed though and its not for the better. So, we must get on with our lives now.

On a different note, Operation Proposal submission went down yesterday morning. Come to find out, this Proposal submission is supported by my boss, and now we need to get our other boss to agree, so our other boss can consider. My boss thinks its a wonderful idea. The proposal is for me to be the boss of the group I already boss. This means that my boss will no longer be my boss, and I will solely report to the operation boss, who reports to the main boss, who also has a boss.

So, my boss and I are going to sit down with our boss and talk. Then our boss will go to the other boss, and then hopefully, after some long conversations, the bosses will agree. In my opinion, and its my opinion and the opinion of many others, I am treated like the boss anyway. All that is being asked: A title change, a wage increase (I highly doubt Ill get what I have asked for) and the responsibility to write the schedule. Other than that......I am working the position as the boss, who reports to the boss, who reports to the main boss who has a boss too. I mean, its really simple, ya know?



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Old 05-24-2022, 03:48 PM
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Spending as much time as I do in hot climates, I spend a lot of time in flip flops now (decent ones), but when I do have to wear shoes, whether for running, hiking or dress.. they are the minimalist type. Wide toe-box, zero drop. They saved my feet after decades of abuse in stylish and expensive sports and dress shoes. Our feet aren't meant to have heels lifted, toes squeezed and curled upward, and be cushioned to death. I spend a lot of time in the tropics, and the people there have gorgeous natural feet and almost never an injury or ailment - because they rarely cram their feet into western shoes.
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Old 05-24-2022, 04:14 PM
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Old 05-24-2022, 08:38 PM
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I spend A LOT of time in flip flops too, Advbike.

It shouldn't come as a surprise when I tell you that I am also a loyal brand fan to the flip flops. Teva Olowahu Flip flops. Every single summer I buy a pair. Sometimes I get a bit wild and choose a different color. Just to keep things fresh and new, ya know? I'm starting to see a pattern here........ Anyways, I basically wear these flip flops out until Its time for another.

I've yet to try the minimalist type shoe. I'm no longer committed to a brand, so the sky is the limit. Thanks for that suggestion.
I do agree that our feet should not be crammed into shoes with lifts and bells and whistles.

This morning:
I wrote about poison oak. Then I wrote about an invisible button I had on my wall to stop the dark from eating me alive. Then I wrote about a cigarette I stole when I was 12. So, I write these things out, and then press the print button. I put the printed paper in a folder. I close the folder and move on with my day.

I think these subjects, and the way I am doing this, will eventually produce some substance. I plan to go back to the short story with additions and subtractions. I think this is what this is? I may have found a way to produce, and not feel overwhelmed thinking I am in nowhere land. I am "somewhere."

I have made a commitment to 'produce' for 45 minutes a day. Day two down.

Free- That is hilarious.
I was going to say that no one writes ducking. No one. No, that is not what I meant iPhone. Nope. I probably should not use that word anyways....

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Old 05-24-2022, 09:46 PM
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Mine are Teva’s too. The Mush.. or Mush II. I have two pairs, one for indoors and one for outdoors but I always mess it up, lol. I also buy a new pair about yearly. $25.. haha, such a bargain, especially compared to cycling shoes, but those last a long time.

Interesting topics.. haha your mind is so creative! I’m so glad you're pursuing that.

Thats a funny one, Free.. I hate autocorrect too, but it does speed things up. What i hate the most is typing on this accursed iPad.. I much prefer either the phone or the laptop (best!).. so I go now.. lol.
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Old 05-25-2022, 06:52 AM
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Tevas are the greatest. Advbike. We know a good flip flop when we wear one. haha! My spouse said "They are probably going to discontinue your flip flop in about a decade." How dare he even use the word "discontinue" and "flip flop" in the same sentence. Now this is taking it too far.

Solving problems one mirror at a time:
I'm working away at my computer yesterday. My desk sits in the middle of the store. On one side I get the hear the music of the blenders and juicers. On the other side, there is a aisle of wine and our salad/ hot bar. My desk and department of a million tiny bottles is in the middle. We have a small square space to put our things, the computer, and a mirror hangs with some lights over it. We are surrounded by two counters. Its not an ideal space for more than one person, and its not an ideal space for customers to waltz into.

I was focused on computer work. I've learned throughout the years to tune all the noises out. I learned to focus when I need too. There is not much "thinking" time free of noise or people or helping people. I think better when its quiet but this is not the job I have or signed up for. So, there I was, doing my job, and a customer walks right into my desk area wanting to use the mirror.
I was startled. I didn't see her coming. The look on my face was one of surprise. "I just want to use this mirror" as she steps into my work zone stopping right before the invisible line that lives on the floor. My eyes dart from the computer and make my way to hers "I would like to step out of here first" I say. Her face contorts and she is offended by my eyes and the way I spoke. She tells me that I have looked at her wrong, and she now does not want to use the mirror. I apologize. Tell her I am sorry. I was "zoned" in on my work and didnt see her coming. Its okay to use the mirror I say. I would like to get out of the space though. In my defense, We are just getting out of COVID. I dont know her. I do not want to be crammed into a small square with a customer. Also, in her defense, she is the customer and she is right.

She makes her way to the register with all her products. I follow. Apologizing and apologizing some more. Is this one of those "Ive destroyed my hopes and dreams of a job title change before I even begin?" I work to smooth over the disgruntled customer and thinking about my proposal I submitted the day prior. Please don't let this be my Will Smith moment.

After more apologies and more words she says "Its okay. I don't live here. Its not going to ruin your reputation!"
I mean, okay. Thanks for that. I am not sure the damage she can do but apparently it involves peoples reputations and I'm not sure if I am being YELPED or canceled somewhere on the BIG WORLD that is the internet?

After she leaves in her mini skirt and boots, I immediately take the mirror down from the work space and set about to tear apart the department. This mirror is going to have a new home and everyone will be safe from darting eyes and startled tones. This is me: SOLVING PROBLEMS

I hang a sun hat in the space where the mirror lived. I have a million products in a million baskets. I am determined to not have this situation come up again. So, I am going to work today to finish this remodel and to wait and see if I have been canceled.
I dont really have a home for these products I have removed. Ive become good at TETRIS in real life. Thank GOD for that Nintendo game when I was a kid. Its prepared me for this moment.

Sober.
Solving life's problems one mirror at a time.




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Old 05-25-2022, 07:38 AM
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Originally Posted by FiveTries View Post
George Michael!
Brings back memories. I haven't heard that name or any of his music for a long time.
Jesus to a child. Still blows me away after all these years. What a talent he was. God Bless x
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Old 06-01-2022, 08:37 PM
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Hey Mizz, how are things going? Haven't heard from you for a while.

I sincerely hope everything is going well with you.
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Old 06-02-2022, 07:15 AM
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Originally Posted by advbike View Post
Hey Mizz, how are things going? Haven't heard from you for a while.

I sincerely hope everything is going well with you.
GOOD MORNING!
I am doing well, Advbike. I have been on a schedule of writing in the mornings. Wake up, write for two hours or more, and then I head to work. When I get off I am exhausted. Rinse and repeat. Producing and more producing. Working towards getting something bigger accomplished. So far, I have produced a good amount. I think one in 5 pages might be worthy of saving but that is the process. Write, write, write....toss it out. Write, write, write.... this sounds good. Write, write, write, and file it away to revisit later. The process is arduous.

The goal: To write for the next 6 months. Edit. Edit. Edit. Send off to publishers. I will keep sending if off until someone takes a chance on it. I could actually be at this process for the next year, but I am making it my job and I am taking this seriously.

Moonlighting as a writer....Without the pay...haha!

Writing about what I know has been triggering. Very triggering. I swim in and out of memories and relive these memories. This process is not easy on my psyche. Not easy at all. I am finding a balance to it. I've created a format where I can swim into the deep end for a bit, and If I notice I am getting overly triggered then I go back to the shallow end of the pool.

It takes me some time to recover emotionally from the swimming but I level out. I can do this. I wont relapse. My feelings wont kill me. I have a goal. I will accomplish this goal.

I actually just took a break, due to diving into some stuff, and thought.....I need to get back to the forum. So, here I am. About to run and then head off to the circus.

Sober for twenty months in a few days.

I've yet to hear back about the AWESOME proposal I wrote. Is my heart set on the outcome? No.
I put it out there and I am moving forward. I don't expect. No expectations. My life is full. It is what it is. Its a paycheck. Give it my all and then clock off for the day.
Also, I was not canceled by that woman and our strange encounter. That was a positive.

How are you doing? How is the weather and all your animal friends visiting your yard?
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