100

I'm telling on my self and I'm so embarrassed that my room is bad bugs and trash every where it's how I was living when I was drinking and I just haven't the energy to clean it. I became sick I feel horrible. I already posted but didn't explain the extent of it. My room looks like an episode of horders but I'm not a horder. It's just so bad I can't clean it by my self. I would never tell anyone in real life this. I always have struggled with mess and it's very unsanitary. Mold every where mabey it's why I'm sick. I need help. Sober but struggling not to stay sober that's easy in comparison now.
David

Dee74

Can you afford to pay for someone to help you clean up David?

Free2bme888

David, pick a one foot area at a time. That’s it, baby steps.

Then the rule is you must keep each area you’ve picked up clean. Atomic changes (teeny tiny) make atomic habits (massive).

if you saw a friend in this situation, would you help him? It’s you! Help him a little…

sending hugs

BullDog777

Before I got clean I had an office like that. Just crap everywhere. Old fast food wrappers, empties, dirty clothes, garbage, the whole shabang. I made myself take out 1 trash bag a day until I was done. That was how I tackled it.

Free is right-one foot at a time. Everything can be done with small steps. As long as you keep moving forward. That is the key.

RecklessDrunk

Commit to a little bit at a time. Try forcing yourself to clean for 15 or 20 minutes at a time. Just one little mess at a time. Even if just by a little bit did the place get cleaner today or dirtier today?

dustyfox

Each day throw something away, clean a mug or a plate , clean a little bit of something - in a couple of weeks you will be surprised how different it will look.

100

Part of the problem is I'm so tired. I told my doctor but didn't do anything. I've made some improvements in my diet such as no mc donalds,reduced my sweet Intake. I still need to go to the store and get veggies. I've also been non-compliant with my sleep apena treatment(,I hate my c-pac). I been wearing my sleep mask at least some time most nights. I also cant fall asleep until 1 am most nights and have to get up by seven forty on work days. Then I sleep in till noon on my days because I'm so exhausted. Anyway I can't fall asleep because I have sleep phase disorder which means I fall asleep several hours too late because on circadian rhythm disorder which is the sleep and wake cycle which in my case is several hours later than most people so I don't feel sleepy until 1 am. My doc told I realy would be best off with a second shift job, but that isn't an option because I go too aa at 5. 30 pm and I love that group. Plus I go to so many doctor app that no other employer would give me the the nessary time of to see various specialist I always seem to be seeing. I really don't know how much longer I can take feeling exasusted all the time. I just lie in bed all day my day off.
David

ScottFromWI

Maybe just try one thing at a time David. For example, if the Cpap machine will help you sleep, that may help with some of the fatigue issues. Or find something else like taking a walk or just cleaning up a small space in the apartment. The negative self-talk and continuous heaping of problems upon yourself is probably part of it too - and I'm not sure what to say to help there, other than just try one new thing each day. After a while it all adds up on the positive side.

Dee74

Even if you just commit to cleaning a small area for 15 mins a day you could soon see the benefit, David?

D

100

I'll try it I will spend 15 min at a time 3 times tomorrow cleaning. David

UNITE4STRENGTH

that sounds really tough....all I would really say is focus on the things you can improve. Definitely make sure you are getting all the nutrition you need. And regarding the space you're living in, literally just clear up a small amount whenever you have the slightest bit of energy. Please ask your doctor if they can prescribe you vitamin B-complex strong and vitamin B1 (if it's OK for you to use these). I wish you well, U4S 🇬🇧

sugarbear1

Do 5 minutes of clean-up.

biminiblue

Yeah, the timed cleaning is really helpful.

Just pick a corner, clean and throw away stuff for a few minutes. If you have a phone, you can set a timer.

I agree with Scott too...the CPap machine is important. If I don't get enough sleep I can't function.

uncle holmes

I’d start by getting a trash can and putting a large trash bag in it! Start first by picking up the trash on the floor! Like other people said - even if it’s 5-15 minutes a day! That’s better than not starting at all!

Hang in there David! Whatever you do don’t pick up that first drink!

silentrun

Is there someone you know or someone you can call and just say "I need some help"?

Patcha

Oh honey I am so sorry! It all sounds so exhausting, you poor love. If I lived near you, I would help you clean up! I would make improving your sleep the number two priority (number one being sobriety). Chronic poor sleep is dangerous in so many ways. Third priority is that mold. It could definitely be contributing to making you unwell. Do you have the funds to pay someone to help? I guarantee cleaning services have seen way worse. Reach out to a couple and get some quotes maybe? Just say you've been unwell and haven't been able to clean. No need to explain yourself in great detail. They have seen it all. I used to be a cleaner and I would have compassion for someone in your shoes, not judgement.