Blamed for his Drinking
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Join Date: Sep 2021
Posts: 1
Blamed for his Drinking
I have been in a relationship for 4 years my partner has drunk since we met but the amounts have gradually increased I rarely see him without a drink in his hand even when out in public which I知 not comfortable with .
everytime he comes to my house he brings alcohol and when he goes home buys more .
He is verbally abusive when drunk and has recently become very ill and passing blood and showing signs of liver damage .
I lost my mum a year ago due to alcoholism she passed away from liver cirrhosis today is the 1st anniversary of her funeral and my partner has turned to me and said I知 part of the reason he drinks and he has to drink to deal with me and only drinks when he comes here and I知 part of the habit when I知 tee total and don稚 drink .He said he wanted to stop drinking I知 the reason why and I知 part of the problem .
This has genuinely hurt me as my mother would say similar things to me .
He was drinking when we met and drinks with his friends and at home in public everywhere he chooses to buy alcohol and bring it here but it痴 my Fault.
Am I responsible for this ?
everytime he comes to my house he brings alcohol and when he goes home buys more .
He is verbally abusive when drunk and has recently become very ill and passing blood and showing signs of liver damage .
I lost my mum a year ago due to alcoholism she passed away from liver cirrhosis today is the 1st anniversary of her funeral and my partner has turned to me and said I知 part of the reason he drinks and he has to drink to deal with me and only drinks when he comes here and I知 part of the habit when I知 tee total and don稚 drink .He said he wanted to stop drinking I知 the reason why and I知 part of the problem .
This has genuinely hurt me as my mother would say similar things to me .
He was drinking when we met and drinks with his friends and at home in public everywhere he chooses to buy alcohol and bring it here but it痴 my Fault.
Am I responsible for this ?
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,908
Not unless you tie him down and pour the alcohol down his throat. He and he alone is responsible. He drinks because he wants to drink. If he is an alcoholic, he made himself an alcoholic. Alcoholics are prolific liars and will blame their drinking on anyone or anything. Please don't let him deceive you.
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Join Date: Sep 2021
Location: Central NC
Posts: 205
Originally Posted by Magneta82 
Am I responsible for this?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 464
You're not responsible for your partner's decision to drink...and drink excessively, for that matter.
Addicts -drug or alcohol- often exhibit manipulative behavior, particularly when questioned or confronted about their addiction.
Been there. Done that.
Don't fall for that blame game. You're not the one pouring alcohol into him.
Hopefully, he chooses to get help.
Addicts -drug or alcohol- often exhibit manipulative behavior, particularly when questioned or confronted about their addiction.
Been there. Done that.
Don't fall for that blame game. You're not the one pouring alcohol into him.
Hopefully, he chooses to get help.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
You are not responsible in any way for his drinking and abusive behavior. I'd get rid of him like the trash he is. He's not treating you decently and you deserve better. A lot better. 
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Definitely not you who's responsible for his problem or his choices Magneta82
Welcome to SR - you'll find a lot of support both here and in our family and friends forums too.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ly-alcoholics/
D
Welcome to SR - you'll find a lot of support both here and in our family and friends forums too.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ly-alcoholics/
D
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Dublin, Ireland.
Posts: 739
Originally Posted by Magneta82
I have been in a relationship for 4 years my partner has drunk since we met but the amounts have gradually increased I rarely see him without a drink in his hand even when out in public which I知 not comfortable with .
everytime he comes to my house he brings alcohol and when he goes home buys more .
He is verbally abusive when drunk and has recently become very ill and passing blood and showing signs of liver damage .
I lost my mum a year ago due to alcoholism she passed away from liver cirrhosis today is the 1st anniversary of her funeral and my partner has turned to me and said I知 part of the reason he drinks and he has to drink to deal with me and only drinks when he comes here and I知 part of the habit when I知 tee total and don稚 drink .He said he wanted to stop drinking I知 the reason why and I知 part of the problem .
This has genuinely hurt me as my mother would say similar things to me .
He was drinking when we met and drinks with his friends and at home in public everywhere he chooses to buy alcohol and bring it here but it痴 my Fault.
Am I responsible for this ?
everytime he comes to my house he brings alcohol and when he goes home buys more .
He is verbally abusive when drunk and has recently become very ill and passing blood and showing signs of liver damage .
I lost my mum a year ago due to alcoholism she passed away from liver cirrhosis today is the 1st anniversary of her funeral and my partner has turned to me and said I知 part of the reason he drinks and he has to drink to deal with me and only drinks when he comes here and I知 part of the habit when I知 tee total and don稚 drink .He said he wanted to stop drinking I知 the reason why and I知 part of the problem .
This has genuinely hurt me as my mother would say similar things to me .
He was drinking when we met and drinks with his friends and at home in public everywhere he chooses to buy alcohol and bring it here but it痴 my Fault.
Am I responsible for this ?
Not for his drinking or his ***** behaviour.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
no, you are not responsible for his drinking. or your mother’s.
no matter which way they twist(ed) it.
what you ARE responsible for is for taking care of yourself and getting help, if you need it, with getting a clear picture of how you’re being treated and why you are sticking around for this and then see if you want to change your circumstances.
wishing you all the best with that!
no matter which way they twist(ed) it.
what you ARE responsible for is for taking care of yourself and getting help, if you need it, with getting a clear picture of how you’re being treated and why you are sticking around for this and then see if you want to change your circumstances.
wishing you all the best with that!
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