Withdrawal - remember.??
Choosing Life
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: London
Posts: 889
Withdrawal - remember.??
I wrote this - need a reminder.? I do.
Withdrawals are the worst. I've had hallucinations so many times - they get progressively worse with every episode. Some of them are quite comical and amusing, some are so frightening you think you are going mad. I remember one night waking up covered in sweat, the bed was ringing wet (quite usual) and the shakes were really bad, and I could hear bells ringing. Church bells, which is quite odd, as I am a bellringer. My first thought was that they were practising without me - more bastards - but then I looked at the clock and it was five to three in the morning. I thought I was dreaming but I got up and walked around and pinched myself and even wrote something down on a piece of paper to prove that I wasn't dreaming - I could hear the bells as clear as a Sunday morning. Another hallucination was spiders, big spiders' legs around the edge of the bed, waggling around, crazy stuff. Elephant's head in the corner of the room, little old lady shuffling towards me crying because she had a bad leg - that was terrifying - but now I sleep so soundly, peacefuly, I find it hard to remember those nights and mornings of chronic bewilderment and fear - but I do remember them - I force myself to and you know what, I can have all that back again if I like - all I need is that first drink.
much love
JC
Withdrawals are the worst. I've had hallucinations so many times - they get progressively worse with every episode. Some of them are quite comical and amusing, some are so frightening you think you are going mad. I remember one night waking up covered in sweat, the bed was ringing wet (quite usual) and the shakes were really bad, and I could hear bells ringing. Church bells, which is quite odd, as I am a bellringer. My first thought was that they were practising without me - more bastards - but then I looked at the clock and it was five to three in the morning. I thought I was dreaming but I got up and walked around and pinched myself and even wrote something down on a piece of paper to prove that I wasn't dreaming - I could hear the bells as clear as a Sunday morning. Another hallucination was spiders, big spiders' legs around the edge of the bed, waggling around, crazy stuff. Elephant's head in the corner of the room, little old lady shuffling towards me crying because she had a bad leg - that was terrifying - but now I sleep so soundly, peacefuly, I find it hard to remember those nights and mornings of chronic bewilderment and fear - but I do remember them - I force myself to and you know what, I can have all that back again if I like - all I need is that first drink.
much love
JC
In Memory Of
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Connecticut.
Posts: 3,736
Oh Yeah..
I remember them very well,I spent the last half of 10 yrs going in and out of them,pure hell..how wonderful it is to be free today..thanks for the gratitude check ! ((( JC ))) 
Trish
Trish
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: The Mohave Desert
Posts: 2,306
Yep, the withdrawals.... :insane
The sweats, the soaking wet sheets, the shakes.... walls moving... and you know JC I was in the hospital and my sponsor was there and i was trying to warn her that there were bugs and spiders climbing on the walls...
Yes my friend I do not miss coming of the booze...
But you are right, we do need to remember the bad stuff...
it is the ammunition we need to kill that friggin demon when it rears it ugly head and tries to tell us that a drink might be nice...
We know better
The sweats, the soaking wet sheets, the shakes.... walls moving... and you know JC I was in the hospital and my sponsor was there and i was trying to warn her that there were bugs and spiders climbing on the walls...
Yes my friend I do not miss coming of the booze...
But you are right, we do need to remember the bad stuff...
it is the ammunition we need to kill that friggin demon when it rears it ugly head and tries to tell us that a drink might be nice...
We know better
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Beaver, WA
Posts: 1,346
(((((((((JC)))))))))
Working with other wet drunks is a good reminder of the hell I could put myself through if somehow I decide that I have the OPTION or CHOICE to take that first drink again. Grateful to have lost the power of choice in drink.
((((((((((SR A-Z #'s included))))))))))
3 Legs
Working with other wet drunks is a good reminder of the hell I could put myself through if somehow I decide that I have the OPTION or CHOICE to take that first drink again. Grateful to have lost the power of choice in drink.
((((((((((SR A-Z #'s included))))))))))
3 Legs
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