ninthchance

I drink probably 5 days a week...basically any chance i can carve out a suitable time period that i won't get "caught". This problem has just gotten worse and worse over the past four years. I'm 24- i have no job, no boyfriend, no responsibilities, no life really. i don't even really hang out with my friends anymore.

My problem is that i feel numb. it's like i don't care about anything anymore. i want TO WANT to stop. I have become so lost in this addiction that I don't even know what I want from life anymore...have no idea who i am. Does anyone have any advice as to how i can give myself a boost and get some motivation back in my life? i don't want to hit bottom just to get a kick in the butt.

Choices

Hi, I'm also 24 and started drinking around 16. I can identify with you completely. I felt that way and still do at times. I have been through recovery programs and have a criminal record now. The point I'm trying to make is that you CAN NOT find yourself in your addiction...all you will find is more about your addiction and the "yets". What I have learned is that you need to become totally honest with yourself first and then be honest with the people and programs that will give you the tools to recover. Alcohol produces that feeling of numbness and apathy. I think Jerry Garcia said that "alcohol and drugs are solutions for many problems, until, in the end, you only have one problem...alcohol and drugs". Something like that. Anyway, I'm new here too, but the folks here have some great knowledge and advice. I hope you feel better and know that you can recover.

John

KelKel

icecream pete

Hi ninth,

Unfortunately you wont come alive until you quit the booze, I am 49 and it took me 20 + years of heavy drinking to get that. Can you imagine yourself in 25 years time still feeling as you do today?

You may already be at your bottom, we dont all end up huddled in a shop door, if you have had enough now, then try and stop. The moment you do life will start to find you.

The fact that you have come here shows you desire to quit and move on, stick around, read the posts and post some too. This is a good place to start if you want to give up drinking and there are loads of good people here too.

Good luck and keep coming back.

Pete

birdonawire

As KelKel said, alcohol is a depressant...and a lot of us end up drinking alone, because we can't be bothered with other people...even our friends.
I thought I was depressed so I went to my doctor. She told me to quit drinking first to see exactly how severe my depression was...and guess what?
It was just the drink...I feel just fine now.
When you quit you may feel restless and irritable...you may even suffer mild withdrawal symptoms if you have been drinking a lot. Borrow a neighbours dog (with permission of course!) and go for long walks in the fresh air. You should start to feel like a wilted flower that has just been given water and sunshine...long walks give your endorphins a boost, make you think more clearly. Phone your favourite friend and go out for coffee...you need to interact with people. See your doctor and be honest about your drinking.
Please try all this...and keep posting. All the best, Bird

ted

You may already be at your bottom, we dont all end up huddled in a shop door,
if you have had enough now, then try and stop.
The moment you do life will start to find you.

HEY 9TH,WELCOME.PETE SAID IT ALL.
HAVE YOU TRIED A.A.?STICK AROUND GREAT PEOPLE HERE.

............ted

Anna

Welcome!

I'm definitely not 24 but I wish I had dealt with my depression when I was that age. Instead I just blamed myself for not trying hard enough to get on with life. But it took twenty more years of living with depression before I began drinking. If you stop drinking your depression may very well lessen. If not, check with your dr. There are lots of options for medication.

Love, Anna

SpiritPath

Problem free, or not, we don't live our best life when we are drinking. In the beginning of my sobriety I am learning that no matter what, when my life is over, I want to know I lived an authentic life. A life where I faced adversity, and was kind to others--especially myself.
I quit when I realized I didn't have any excuses anymore for not living an honest life. In the beginning it is hard to give up the drinks and see something more, but it is there. When you get a clear head you start to realize the possibilities. I know I have a long way to go...but the people here really help me every day. Keep coming back.

Stephanie

Music

I was amazed when I first came to AA at what happened almost immediately. I was depressed, scared, unhappy, frustrated, and alone. Even in my own home I felt alone. At my first AA meeting I started to feel like there was hope. I was accepted by the people there and most of them didn't know me. Let's face it. As Ms. bird mentioned, alcohol is a depressant drug. Couple that with the fact that we tend to do depressing things, and depressing things happen to us when we drink; it's no damn wonder we're drpressed. I started going to meetings almost daily. I got a sponsor right away so he and I did things together, before, during, and after the meetings. I made a bunch of new friends who didn't drink and who were for the most part, struggling just like I was. I started going to sober AA functions. Dances, cookouts, conventions, and workshops. All the while I was learning and "not drinking." What an awakening when I reached about 3 months and realized I hadn't even thought about taking a drink.

If you want to wake up again, do things that will cause you to wake up, with people who can help you wake up and stay awake.

Peter

Go to an AA meeting. AA can help you to WANT to stop.It can also help with some suggestions to help you with that awesome boredom.

birdonawire

I also agree that AA meetings are very helpful, it is especially good to make new friends that don't drink...going for coffee with people was really something new for me...it seems strange that before I wouldn't have seen the point of meeting people unless it was in the pub. The meetings are a good way to get out of your house and out of a rut...it's a whole new world out there, one worth living! Bird