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Day 4

Old 05-27-2021, 04:41 AM
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Day 4

Hey One and All
Made it to day 4!

One thing ive been thinking / stressing / 'bargaining' with myself (thanks to Biminiblue for alerting me that that can happen) about is thinking about summer and drinking. I used to love to sit outside a little village pub in the sun having a drink which would relax me and laugh and chill. If I'm sober I can't do that; except I can right?! Just instead of an alcoholic drink I can have a non alcoholic drink. And in this idyllic scene my mind seems to forget I'd get home drink more, have a restless night and feel like death warmed up in the morning.

RecklessDrunk said something in my Day 3 post though that is helping with the above. He/she said:

Its best not to get too caught up in omg, i can never drink again. Make sure not to start worrying about days ahead, how will I stay sober for this event and that. Its easy to get caught up worrying about days that have nothing to do with today. The only thing we know about tomorrow is that it will be easier to deal with if we stay sober today.
My mind is kinda thinking things like 'well other people can moderate, why not you? You used to be able to back in the day?!'. I don't think the latter is really true though I've always had a propensity to overdo it when I drink.

Its life though right? People can't do all sorts of things due to illness etc.
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Old 05-27-2021, 07:54 AM
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Congrats on day 4 Jase. Yes, all those thoughts are pretty common early on, and different times of the year/events/experiences can certainly dredge them up - even months or years into living sober. I have been sober for many years now, but just this AM I got a notification on Facebook from my old favorite Micro-Brew pub about some new beer release that they are having this weekend. For a brief time I started thinking about how I used to anticipate those and how it would be really nice to just go there and have "just one" to taste it. But of course it was never "just one", and even if I did have just a few at the pub, I'd stop on the way home and pick up a 12 pack of cheap beer just to make sure I had enough to last me through the night with whatever I had left over from the night before.

The point being- having the thoughts you are having is normal and to be expected. What needs to be different now is how you react to them and the choices you make. For me the real key was accepting that yes - something is different about me in that if I start drinking, bad things will happen. And that while most people aren't like me, i am this way and it's never going to change. Being OK with that is really important IMHO, even if it doesn't seem just or fair. Once you can do that, it's a lot easer to push those addictive thoughts aside and move on.
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Old 05-27-2021, 11:17 AM
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The people that stay sober long term change their lives and behaviour to suit sobriety. I had a similar outing when i was drinking and tried to continue it in sobriety, i would go out and drink coffee or diet coke and it sucked ass as i learned the alcohol was definitely part of the experience. Obviously sober things i did whilst drinking i could continue to do if i wanted to but going down the pub with 10 pint mates on a Friday night whilst drinking diet coke was not much fun lol. Lots of stuff to do without drinking though.
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Old 05-27-2021, 11:32 AM
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Yeah you both make good points.

In a strange way I think Covid coming along has helped me out because before the pubs had to close I'd go most days on top of drinking at home oc. It had become a habit to go and I got to know the people and become friends with them. But now I suspect if I go but don't drink alcohol (like you and your friends Scd) it wouldn't be much fun.

Like you Scott I liked the little Micro brew pubs what with them being independent and doing their own special beers etc. But I think sometimes you have to give up 'good' things in order to replace them with better things? Like a benefit v cost. For eg I might miss the cosy micro pub but I won't miss the damage to my health, self loathing, causing arguments, interrupted sleep etc, etc..
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Old 05-27-2021, 05:13 PM
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Hey Jase

once you get sober and get to a point where you want to stay that way,. you'll be able to do anything you like.
Funny tho - I always said I'd miss sitting in a beer garden - but I don't...no interest in it...

being other places with friends and having good times tho - yes please
Pubs are not the only places to meet up and sit around

D
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