Dating in Sobriety
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 9
Dating in Sobriety
Good evening to all,
Any good advice out there on meeting people in sobriety? Company over coffee, lunch, or dinner would be nice....seems so hard to meet people. Any thoughts?
Take care !
Any good advice out there on meeting people in sobriety? Company over coffee, lunch, or dinner would be nice....seems so hard to meet people. Any thoughts?
Take care !
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
There used to be sober meet up groups in various cities but COVID may have affected that. Are you interested in AA or some other kind of meeting based approach?
it still is probably the most fundamental way to make new sober friends.
D
it still is probably the most fundamental way to make new sober friends.
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
Most dating apps allow selection for those who "never drink". When I was actively dating about a decade ago I had to do that because almost all the women I met in Northern Calif and the Pacific Northwest were wine-drinkers. Like 95%. It was one of the reasons I found it so hard to quit when I was in my late 40's, early 50's. Hard to resist that wine on a dinner date. I think it's less of a thing now though, especially among younger people. And coffee or lunch dates are easy without booze.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2021
Location: London
Posts: 333
Same as everyone else nowadays if you want a social life, it is hobbies and online sites that put people together. I would concentrate more on the similarities when meeting new people rather than if they drink or not because most people won't care if you do or don't drink
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
I'm Aussie so wasn't sure if you meant friendship or dating.
As far as dating goes, I had to wait until I was comfortable with who I was, and until I had sorted myself out after 20 years of drinking.
That took a little while.
I don't know where you're at but inviting someone to share my life (however short or long term) any sooner than I did would be like me inflicting myself on someone else.
D
As far as dating goes, I had to wait until I was comfortable with who I was, and until I had sorted myself out after 20 years of drinking.
That took a little while.
I don't know where you're at but inviting someone to share my life (however short or long term) any sooner than I did would be like me inflicting myself on someone else.
D
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Meeting someone to start a relationship is hard regardless of whether one is sober or not. As alcoholics I think we tend to obsess about the fact that we don't drink, when for the most part no one else even notices or cares. I also honestly think that while it may seem "easier" to meet people when we are drinking - it's really just easier to meet other people who also drink.
Better late than never
Join Date: Feb 2021
Location: middle of no where, missouri
Posts: 142
Kind of feel like that song from Grand Funk Railroad Bad time to be in Love when it comes to dating and relationships right now. But when I'm ready to start mingling again I don't think it will be a problem to be with someone who likes to have a drink now and again since right now I can be around someone who has a drink without it bothering me.
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