Graceful123

Folks I just had a glimmer of hope that I’d like to share with all of you who are struggling.

i think all of us had that nasty insomnia when we first quit drinking, right? I didn’t sleep for the first 4 days after my last drink. Part of the whole no GABA and too much glutamate thing as you’re withdrawing,

well for the last few days I have been super lazy (I’m currently unemployed thanks to Covid) and I’ve noticed I’ve been constantly sleepy (in a good, lazy, need a nap kinda way, not a medical problem kinda way. I always loved my sleep). And I felt... no anxiety and no depression, just sleepiness and calmness.

and as I was couch-potatoing and falling asleep and feeling good, I realized I can only attribute that to my neurotransmitters finally beginning to work as intended. (Although I know I still have much healing to do)

for all you folks struggling through this battle, I can only say that i can feel the healing. It takes a very long time but I thought I was losing my mind at first and would NEVER recover, and now I’m 100 times better and you will feel better too!

CBS62

I will report some good news too. Yesterday I had a dizzy/rocking sensation free day until the evening. This is about the 4th time I have had that happen in about a month. I am rocking again today. Boy the brain does some weird stuff. Anyway, hopefully this is a good sign. The rocking is one of my most persistent and annoying PAWS symptoms. Also, I am 6 months sober today! Yay! I practiced some self love and bought myself some flowers today.

Introvrtd1

Wow! That certainly sounds hopeful Graceful 😇 Looks like it really is getting better for you. 😁

Introvrtd1

CBS, That’s good to hear! Like me, I felt really pawsy with blood pressure spikes, palpitations, and irregular heartbeats….At nearly 6 months in, things are finally getting better…For those blessed with quicker recovery I salute you, but as for those of us who take much longer to heal, I say hang in there and keep the sober journey going 👍🏾🙏🏾✌🏾

Vindawgs

That's great to hear CB. That's definitely proof that healing is coming on. It's gradual but it's in the right direction. Hope your having a great day.

ant385

I know dry. Some people drink far more than I did and have no PAWS. They right as rain on stopping. B@#tards!.

BettyP

CB congratulations on six months!!! You are amazing and you are going to get through this! So glad to hear you're having more days without the rocking sensation :-D

Vindawgs

Today was a good day. I had a long day at work with some added unnecessary work which added to my regular load of work and created some stress. I see how stress has really become a burden but when it gets to you I need to just stop and take a 10 min break. A walk, meditate or just a drive to the local store to get a change of scenery. My body can't handle the stress it use to. But in all, I'm getting more used to coping with this stress now that alcohol is not there to save me. Feels good to know that I don't need that toxin to get away or drown in it after a long day at work. It's definitely getting better and I see so much change lately compared to last month and the month before that. But its still there and I can sense it didn't give up yet. We shall keep on keeping on and focus on continuing getting better. Hope you all have a good night and feel amazing tomm.

Vinny

TheSoberNord

Morning gang and happy Saturday hope everyone is feeling good today.
@CBS62 congrats on your 6 months sobriety! Keep up the good work and I'm happy to hear you're having some symptom free days.
@Vindawgs You got a few months on me but we're pretty close in sobriety timeline. I've been noticing lately I seem to be able to handle stress better than I have from a few months ago. And heck even from one month ago for that matter. It's like something in my head is finally saying f**k it we made it this far without dying and I don't think this issue is going to be what does us in so keep going. And if I start to feel overwhelmed I find just taking a few minutes to myself to breathe, walk, do a light chore, lay down for a while and read a book etc is usually enough to bring me back down to earth. I might still feel a little "off" but it's manageable.

Of course now that I wrote all that out I'm probably gonna get hit by a huge wave again! But if it happens it happens, I'll soldier through it like I have before and know that sunny days will be back again.
Anyway have a good weekend everybody keep up the good work and remember we're all gonna make it as long as we stay focused!

BettyP

This is totally totally where I'm at. Like the PAWS stuff is still there, but we are sharing the driving duties more than just PAWS taking the wheel the whole time now. I can get out and have a whole day of being productive, drive with much less fear, process complex thoughts - all things I thought I wouldn't be able to do again. I'm also happy to say that my GI system is back to almost normal - I had soo much trouble with this for almost all of my sobriety - just feeling nausea all the time, not being able to eat anything particularly complex (dairy, bread, etc.). I'm a culinary/dining/restaurant person so not being able to eat was particularly excruciating. I also have been able to listen to an entire day of podcasts without getting frustrated or stressed and have to stop - early in recovery my brain would be so flooded with intrusive thoughts and even just THINKING about things would cause a panic attack, and so reading and listening to podcasts or music was really tough. I'm SO happy to be moving on from that stage - and also just kind of slackjawed in disbelief that alcohol can do what it's done to our brains and bodies. I read Holly Whitaker's book "Quit Like a Woman" - which was a mixed bag for me, but had some good stuff, and one of the things she pointed out that I think about a lot when I don't feel good with PAWS is that ethanol is literally used to fuel engines -- it's poison.

ant385

What can I say except all these symptoms are due to a brain that has speeded up due to the inhibitory nature of alcohol. None of our brains are damaged even though it feels like it. The brain has done what it thought was a clever thing to do… adapt! Adaptation due to external stimuli. It no longer has that external stimuli anymore and when our symptoms are at their worse I do honestly believe this is when the brain is reversing those adaptations the most. Stress is centre stage in all of this. I’m going through a wonderful wave again that got triggered by watching the film ‘Fight Club’ never seen it before but due to its violent negative story I just could not carry on watching it. Plus Brad Pitt’s acting was awful! His lack of talent was too much for my poorly brain 🤒

alphaomega

Hello all

Has anyone tried any supplements (GABA, DLPA, Mag, etc) that have helped in the biochemical recovery of the brain ?

I'm almost 3 weeks sober, and some of the crazy symptoms I have been having is cold sores, my tounge feeling like it's too big for my mouth, canker sores, days of nearly urinating 4 times an hour (then it abates, then it comes back) swollen glands (this happens every time I quit), and lethargy that comes as goes in waves but can flatline me for 14 hours.

I am grateful for this thread. I'm a lifelong consumer of ethanol, and i'm freaking DONE !

XO AO

alphaomega

Hi BettyP

Do you have driving anxiety ? I have all but stopped for the better part of 10 years. I am hoping with brain repair, the motion and traffic will become more managable.

Graceful123

Hey AlphaOmega,

I like your nickname btw.

I was prescribed gabapentin after about 2 months in detox, it didn't do anything for me (as far as I could tell). Diazepam helped with initial withdrawals but you don't want to take more than prescribed, I hear benzo withdrawals make alcohol withdrawals look like a walk in the park, and anyways it's just for the acute withdrawals which by 3 weeks you would have passed, so you won't get it prescribed.


Week 3 is can be very tough (it was unbelievably bad for me), but I would wait a few months before even considering any supplements that could change your brain chemistry in any way (gabapentin being one of them).

I am no doctor and only giving you advice based on my own experience.

Graceful123

To reply to this part:

Yes, it will all go back to normal over the course of many-many months (at least for me it is taking many-many months).

Being in the car could send me spiraling into a really bad panic attack well into the 6th month of my recovery. It has since abated and I consider that symptom gone and forgotten, therefore I am no longer worried about being in a car or driving, but I could not do any of those things in the initial months of detox.

You should certainly not be driving if your head is placing PAWS symptoms on you such as panic attacks, dizziness, disorientation, depersonalization, etc. as much for your own safety as for the safety of others.

BettyP

Alphaomega, I never really loved driving as an adult, and would sometimes have panic attacks - especially when getting stuck in traffic or driving on the highway (where you can't just pull over and stop). In PAWS, though, the excruciating anxiety made me feel like I was actually under the influence of something and that felt (and still sometimes feels) really scary and dangerous and unsafe for driving. I would also get constant panic attacks and would become more and more fearful the further I got away from home as I was afraid of being in an out-of-control state and being out somewhere. That has been getting better SLOWLY over time. I normally live in Boston but have been spending most of my sobriety in Vermont with my family for the relative calmness and safety of the country, and only in the past two months or so have I been able to feel pretty ok driving back and forth to the city for day trips, and have just recently started spending the night again.
I distinctly remember in the earlier months of PAWS thinking that I will never be able to do normal things again, or that there is some sort of way of thinking and acting that I needed to find to "snap out of it." When in fact just like everyone in this thread who recovered has described - you just gotta wait and give it time, and it all does go away.
Regarding supplements and medications, I recommend going through all the old posts of this thread (there are three "chapters") - I think you'll find that some people found help to varying degrees, but overall PAWS is pretty much a waiting game. If you haven't already established one, I would see a doctor you trust and get testing done jusdt to be sure you're not missing other things that could be important like thyroid (you're probably not, but health anxiety is SUPER big for PAWS).

BettyP

Oh and I also wanted to speak to these physical symptoms -- when I was in my first two to three months my body literally went into mutiny. I had the urinating thing. I got sores in my mouth. I had a weird taste in my mouth a lot that tasted like metallic? I could not eat anything - I gagged at the smell of most food. I got an ingrown hair on my bikini line that blew up into a gigantic infection that I had to see a doctor for and the doctor was even like "yikes." - basically your body doesn't have any fuel for your immune system because it's all hands on deck for your cells that are freaking out over the loss of alcohol. Early recovery puts a tremendous amount of stress on your body - as you can feel in your brain. So this will manifest as a lot of physical symptoms for a while - which I know they suck, but also look at them as proof that your body is really fighting for you to stay alive here. The real challenge is when the physical stuff starts to fade and then the mental component starts taking center stage. At that point I was even sometimes grateful to have some of my physical symptoms around to remind me that I was going through a major transition and that it wasn't all "just in my head." This getting sober is a very rough ride! Stay strong and post here any time - we have all lived through varying stages of this, and it's pretty likely that anything you're going through probably someone else here experienced the same thing or similar. Just do NOT pick up a drink - even though it's going to be tough because you just want all the PAWS symptoms to go away -- they will, but then you'll have to start again at the beginning, and it's infinitely tougher the second time. You only have to go through this once in your life - you can do this and you're much stronger than you even know you are. We are all here for you :-)

alphaomega

Oh my goodness, the comfort you are all giving me - you have no idea !!!

I have the metal taste, I have the bikini line (whatever the heck that thing is !!). The driving, wow. Just wow.

I feel so understood and so very grateful... XOAO

LoveDD

Some good news for me at six months as well! Finallllly starting to get my energy back. Two days in a row I haven’t felt absolutely exhausted mid day! I’ve also started to feel more engaged in everyday activities. Hoping this is the start of some positive in terms of energy levels, motivation and engagement.

BettyP

I have gotten to a stage where I am super tired and sleep for hours? I guess now that I'm moving away from 24/7 anxiety my body is starting to catch up on that lost rest? I have been going to bed at 10 or 11 and not waking up until 10 or 11 for a couple of weeks(!)