Graceful123

Vindawgs, I wish you strength in this fight, it is not an easy one by any means. Always feel free to message me or on this forum with any questions. How long have you been quit?

Cabernetgoaway

Good Morning All,
60 days today and already have been crying off and on already. I have never made it this far! So far not as many of the physical symptoms just an emotional rollercoaster. Hope everyone has a better day today.

CBS62

Hi everybody. Quick question I have to go to the dentist today and get some major drilling done in my mouth because I have a broken tooth. Would it really set me back if I took a small amount of valium for my anxiety in terms of my paws symptoms?

CBS62

FYI it was prescribed by the dentist.

ScottFromWI

We really can't offer medical advice here CBS - but I can say that I try to avoid any form of Benzo's - mainlly just because they are the equivalent of alcohol in Pill form as far as there effects. I was prescribed valium for a procedure several years ago and even though I never had a benzo addition issue, I asked for a different non-benzo option.

Steely

I'd avoid Valium CBS.

I had to have a 'test' that really scared me, but was so proud and glad when I got through it on my own steam.

PAWS is a terrible thing, but does improve with time.

You can do it.

Introvrtd1

I’ve been drinking a cup of hot lemon water every afternoon or evening for the past few weeks…I think it’s helping…Paws hasn’t really been any bother since that time…maybe coincidental to my already improving recovery or it may in fact be the lemon water…

I do remember however having 7 months sober about 5 years back before relapsing and hot lemon water was a big part of my improving recovery back then too….

The relapse was due to just having a cocky attitude about being able to get a better handle on my drinking (which failed). not to mention how great I felt and thought i was ‘cured’. 🙁

Vindawgs

Thank you Graceful,
I appreciate your kind words. I free for 19 months

Graceful123

Oh you've been quit longer than me. You must have had a rough recovery. I am sorry to hear this. Stay strong, my friend

BettyP

I've gotten to a somewhat tricky phase of my recovery in PAWS in that I now have strings of pretty normal-feeling days, interspersed with PAWS days. Which is a great place to be in, for sure. But also, when I get yanked back into the PAWS days it's like moderately devastating to be back in it when you've been free for a while. Like you get in your mind that "I'm free, it's over" feeling, but no - nope. Not done with me yet. This recovery is cruel! Cruel I tell ya. Going through a string of symptomatic days this week and like most of last week I was feeling pretty out of the woods.

CBS62

Hey PAWS buddies. 160 days sober here. That is 5 months and 9 days.

Cabernet I can relate to the crying spells. I had those almost daily in early recovery. Now it's just every week or two. Vinny I hope your bad spell has abated. Intro I may try that lemon water. Graceful and Betty I hope you are doing well. Seems like you both are having some good windows.

I went to the dentist and did not take valium but took my normal Gabapentin that I am on. Ended up I got sent to an Endodontist and did not get any work done on my mouth. Just some X-rays and tests. I am probably going to have to have a molar extracted. But I am trying to figure out why I have a sore throat and swollen lymph nodes in my neck. It has been going on for several weeks. I have been to an ENT, and my regular doc. They did an ultrasound and my thyroid is fine. Also had a camera put down my throat and it looks good. Negative strep test and negative COVID test. Anyway, it may be old TMJ acting up or some weird cold. I clench my teeth a lot and must do it in my sleep too. So I bought a mouth guard that I am going to try tonight. My PAWS anxiety keeps ruminating that it is something horrible. Health anxiety sucks! Back when I was drinking I would self medicate my anxiety with lots of wine every night. I find myself missing that release. But I will not drink.

I have had a few very small windows where my rocking/balance issue went away first thing in the morning. But it always comes back at some point during the day. And most days it is with me 24/7.

Anhedonia is still with me all the time. Insomnia is better but last night was rough because I was worried about Endodontist appt.. One good barometer for how I am feeling is if I feel like cooking. I have a real hard time cooking when I am down.

Anyway, I will try to stay busy this holiday weekend and not ruminate about my symptoms.

Be good to yourself everyone!

Graceful123

I myself am feeling very blah today.

No anxiety or depression or anything like that... just blah... Kind of worried but not worried, not sure, just a mess of emotions.

I think at this point it's less about the chemical imbalance and more about not having that "shield" that prevented me from taking life at face value.

I now understand where the two year timing comes from, I think it's the time it takes for us to get back used to living life sober, without artificial dopamine coursing through our veins.

Stay strong everyone, it does get better day by day.

window

Hello! This is my first post but I've been lurking on this thread for a while now. I'm 8 months deep into PAWS and gradually recovering after drinking for 6 years. The first 4 months was actual hell on earth, but through the waves and windows I am definitely improving.

I'm only posting now because I have some questions. Addiction and PAWS has been tough for me because it has taken away what it means to be human. Most choices, situations and moments should be governed by emotion and it leaves a huge void when you can't feel them properly. Instead, I find myself going through the motions in every situation without ever being fully present. It was acceptable when I was in survival mode for the first 4 months, but it is not a long term option. It's something which I haven't seen discussed so far and would love to hear the thoughts of people here. Do emotions and feelings come back? Does the desire to connect with people come back? Does the capacity to fall in love with someone come back?

Thank you.

Dee74

Hi and welcome window
I think anhedonia is fairly common.

I'd just about go to the point where I thought never feeling joy again was the price I'd pay for sobriety - but it came back - for me that started around 3 months but some people find it happens sooner and some later.

Things do get better tho - trust me

D

BettyP

My last three days have been relentless nonstop crushing depression. Super fun. I really feel like I will never feel better on these days, or that I will forget how feeling good actually feels and just get stuck here.

BettyP

I really appreciate you bringing this up, Window, because it something that bothers me a lot about PAWS and recovery. Like I overthink this to the point of having anxiety attacks and wonder if I will ever feel like normal me again. That I'm going to be in this weird limbo world of not feeling things. And then there are days when I feel great and those concerns fall to the wayside. From what I've gathered in this thread and elsewhere on this subject, eventually it all gets better and you feel like yourself again. It just takes time - lots of it. I'm just about a week away from 11 months and I'm just so bitter and resentful that I don't feel amazing and perfect and have put all of PAWS behind me. I'm very achievement driven and it's so frustrating to me to not be able to just do all the things on a checklist and just "boom" the problem is over and solved and on with my life. I just have to endure this major hurdle in early recovery. A lot of my days are pretty good now. And way way better than at six months and eight months. A lot of alcoholics I have heard who went through this said that eventually it just stops being so severe and fades away. Looking forward to that time! Stay strong and keep posting with us!

Dee74

I think bad day happen to everyone at some point. I generally console myself with the thought that a few bad days are better than the bad weeks months, even years I had as a drinker?

I hope you feel better soon Betty.

D

TheSoberNord

Checking in and hope everyone is doing well. Feels like I'm going through another wave right now these past couple days but it's not packing quite the same punch as it has before. Thursday night was my only real bad day where for a couple hours I felt like I was ready to jump out of my skin even though it wasn't my normal anxiety/panic attack I would get. Just real squirrelly like I couldn't sit still and my mind was racing a 100mph.
But regardless of how uncomfortable it is I feel functional at least like I can do the everyday life things and not let it distract me too much unlike a few months ago when my PAWS was really getting the best of me where doing what I had to do was like being on a death march and at the first chance I got to hide myself away I took it!

LoveDD

Just taking some time to read through this thread. I too am suffering from PAWS related symptoms. Mainly very low energy levels (have had a medical work up that does not show any other medical reason why) and anhedonia. I take anti depressants which I believe help but wish I could shake these two things. I’m five months sober now hoping by a year these symptoms ease up a little for me.

TheSoberNord

My earliest days of sobriety was similar. My first 3 months I was constantly tired and would get easily fatigued from even doing the lightest of activities. You got to remember 5 months is still pretty fresh into sobriety even though it feels like a long time. I'm 13 months sober and now that I'm seeing the bigger picture of long term sobriety and recovery I accept that this is a long haul and it's going to take time to feel normal. But it does slowly get better over time. I'm way better off than I was during months 6-9 and even a little better than I was just one month ago.
As for the benzos I don't know much about them never took them but I do know you don't want to just suddenly stop taking them either. There's some other members who post here who know more about that stuff but from what I gather that's a conversation with your doctor you should have and typically they slowly tapper you off them over time.