Yet again.
Hey, friend.
Anytime is the right time, especially if it's now.
Why don't you give us a hint about what's going on with you?
There is no requirement that you need x amount of time sober (even 0) to post here.
xo
O
Anytime is the right time, especially if it's now.
Why don't you give us a hint about what's going on with you?
There is no requirement that you need x amount of time sober (even 0) to post here.
xo
O
Originally Posted by Sohard (from 16 months ago)
Thanks so much for the update. First, I’m very glad that the system has been working for you and that it doesn’t seem you have had major catastrophes, like a lost job or a DUI or something of that sort. But I think that can make it seem like there’s been no major repercussions. But in fact, you’ve been losing something just as important. You’ve been losing time. TIME.
I agree life is short.
You can’t really understand what I mean by this because you’re still actively drinking. But if you quit, and got past the difficult phase and to the part where things become peaceful, then you would understand what I mean. And you would be sad for all that lost time. I just want more for you. I really do. I hope you consider quitting for just 100 days. That’s what someone pushed me to do. At that point, I realized life would be better without alcohol. You don’t have to believe me right now, just try it. 100 days. What could it hurt? Since your life depends on it, isn’t it worth a shot? You obviously don’t know me and I don’t know you. I think you’re probably a pretty funny person though. I’m guessing your name is from Seinfeld, right? I‘M sure you have a lot of great qualities. And you can do a lot with your life. A lot more than you’re doing now. Just give it 100 days. Trust me. A stranger. :-)
Drop in and let’s see if we can help motivate you to try out your plan.
GT
Hey So Hard,
I was reading this morning (!) and happened across a section in The Spirituality of Imperfection that made me think of you. The authors write that we can get really frustrated on this journey because we keep trying to find the thing that will work for us by using the thing that worked for other people. As it turns out, the journey to sobriety doesn't require a formula; it requires a map. So that made me think of re-mapping neural pathways, which made me think of you and our friend Tatsy. You know, cuz you guys were so into that - maybe still are. Then there's a story (because this book is about story-telling) of a guy who had a fantastic map to help him get from the airport to his destination, but he ended up getting hopelessly lost. It turns out that map was never going to help him because the fantastic map was not of the city he was in!
So that put me in mind of how difficult it has been for you to get back here. In large part it seems that you are frustrated that the map you used before isn't working for you anymore. You had x number of sober days using one particular mind frame, and it's just so deflating to have lost that. I get it. That's the groundhog day stuff I suffered while I was in active addiction, taking occasional sobriety breaks. For the life of me, I couldn't figure it out. If I was doing all of right things, then why did I find myself drinking again? I mean, I even went through this whole exercise in one of those rehabs and the conclusion was, "Yep, you've been doing all the right stuff - there must be something else." Wow, that was vindicating. I didn't realize or fully trust myself enough until my experiences last year to understand that I was the only one who could draw my map. Other people could tell me about their routes and I could try to follow them, but damned if a fallen tree didn't land in front of me. Or I'd step off the path just a smidgen and end up with poison ivy. Same thing happened when I tried to retrace the steps I'd taken with some success previously. It had rained or snowed or the path had become overgrown...
The thing I'm trying to convey with my flowery analogy is that everyone's journey is different. And that everyone includes ourselves. The thing is, to learn from it. To really pay attention to the details that are important for you. To tend to those details even if (especially if?) you think they're no big deal; normal people wouldn't be worried about this thing that really bothers you. To understand that your map has to be your own because it actually does need to be tailored to your singular journey. That's the commonality among all of us, I think - we are all unique, all headed in the same general direction toward the same state of non-addiction, but doing it in our unique ways. Some people can travel on the highway, but other people simply can't. And that's a-ok.
xo
O
I was reading this morning (!) and happened across a section in The Spirituality of Imperfection that made me think of you. The authors write that we can get really frustrated on this journey because we keep trying to find the thing that will work for us by using the thing that worked for other people. As it turns out, the journey to sobriety doesn't require a formula; it requires a map. So that made me think of re-mapping neural pathways, which made me think of you and our friend Tatsy. You know, cuz you guys were so into that - maybe still are. Then there's a story (because this book is about story-telling) of a guy who had a fantastic map to help him get from the airport to his destination, but he ended up getting hopelessly lost. It turns out that map was never going to help him because the fantastic map was not of the city he was in!
So that put me in mind of how difficult it has been for you to get back here. In large part it seems that you are frustrated that the map you used before isn't working for you anymore. You had x number of sober days using one particular mind frame, and it's just so deflating to have lost that. I get it. That's the groundhog day stuff I suffered while I was in active addiction, taking occasional sobriety breaks. For the life of me, I couldn't figure it out. If I was doing all of right things, then why did I find myself drinking again? I mean, I even went through this whole exercise in one of those rehabs and the conclusion was, "Yep, you've been doing all the right stuff - there must be something else." Wow, that was vindicating. I didn't realize or fully trust myself enough until my experiences last year to understand that I was the only one who could draw my map. Other people could tell me about their routes and I could try to follow them, but damned if a fallen tree didn't land in front of me. Or I'd step off the path just a smidgen and end up with poison ivy. Same thing happened when I tried to retrace the steps I'd taken with some success previously. It had rained or snowed or the path had become overgrown...
The thing I'm trying to convey with my flowery analogy is that everyone's journey is different. And that everyone includes ourselves. The thing is, to learn from it. To really pay attention to the details that are important for you. To tend to those details even if (especially if?) you think they're no big deal; normal people wouldn't be worried about this thing that really bothers you. To understand that your map has to be your own because it actually does need to be tailored to your singular journey. That's the commonality among all of us, I think - we are all unique, all headed in the same general direction toward the same state of non-addiction, but doing it in our unique ways. Some people can travel on the highway, but other people simply can't. And that's a-ok.
xo
O
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