500 Days Sober
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 307
500 Days Sober
It’s amazing how fast time flies, is it not? It’s after midnight in South Africa, and I’m in bed writing/editing. I had this thought suddenly, that I must be close to the 500-day-sober mark by now, and when I pulled up the calculator, saw that I passed that mark two days ago. I stopped on the 12th December 2019 – a day before my ex-wife’s birthday. And 2020 was a leap year... So, here I am - 500 days clean. One published novel later, and book two just about done. (I’m doing some more work (editing) on book one before releasing book two).
My situation, which many of you know, remains the same, but I have to say, my dad is fast sliding even further down into the pit of drunken ugliness; I cringe with distaste when I just see him – never mind hear him – which is like listening to a demented madman, once he starts drinking, which still is around three each afternoon, without fail. He’s like a burst-open boil, weeping hate and ugliness like liters of yellow puss. He’ll die soon I think (almost 80 years old), and may God forgive me, but I will be glad. Stepmom too, is getting worse; she does not go to bed before the day’s bottle is empty, and sometimes when a second is half-empty as well, falling over drunk and mumbling gibberish or weepy-drunk; I’m talking a 750ml+ of brandy a day. EVERY single day. If it wasn’t for my two little dogs, I would have left here long ago; even sleeping on the beach or in the bush is better than this.
What the future holds, I don’t know, and remember that this is South Africa, a country with a 40% unemployment rate and rising each year; much higher when it comes to white males in their 50’s. But I carry on; who knows what tomorrow will bring? And in the meantime, I practice Gratitude, and talk to God a lot. Perhaps I’ll have a best-seller..
..
To those of you out there who are struggling with sobriety – I was a bottle (750ml Scotch) a day guy, for many, many years, and sobriety was a struggle, but if I could do it, in my circumstances, so can you. And always remember, that no matter how bad your personal life might be, there is always someone who has it worse than you.
Have a wonderful weekend, everyone.
RB (Corrie).
My situation, which many of you know, remains the same, but I have to say, my dad is fast sliding even further down into the pit of drunken ugliness; I cringe with distaste when I just see him – never mind hear him – which is like listening to a demented madman, once he starts drinking, which still is around three each afternoon, without fail. He’s like a burst-open boil, weeping hate and ugliness like liters of yellow puss. He’ll die soon I think (almost 80 years old), and may God forgive me, but I will be glad. Stepmom too, is getting worse; she does not go to bed before the day’s bottle is empty, and sometimes when a second is half-empty as well, falling over drunk and mumbling gibberish or weepy-drunk; I’m talking a 750ml+ of brandy a day. EVERY single day. If it wasn’t for my two little dogs, I would have left here long ago; even sleeping on the beach or in the bush is better than this.
What the future holds, I don’t know, and remember that this is South Africa, a country with a 40% unemployment rate and rising each year; much higher when it comes to white males in their 50’s. But I carry on; who knows what tomorrow will bring? And in the meantime, I practice Gratitude, and talk to God a lot. Perhaps I’ll have a best-seller..
..To those of you out there who are struggling with sobriety – I was a bottle (750ml Scotch) a day guy, for many, many years, and sobriety was a struggle, but if I could do it, in my circumstances, so can you. And always remember, that no matter how bad your personal life might be, there is always someone who has it worse than you.
Have a wonderful weekend, everyone.
RB (Corrie).
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Congratulations rockbottom, and it's encouraging to hear that you are still keeping your sobriety as a high priority even in spite of all the other things that could derail it. Sounds like you are using a lot of great tools as well, keep it up and glad you are here with us sharing.
EnjoyingTheJourney
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 3,847
Congratulations on your 500 Days Corrie!! That is quite an achievement especially under your circumstances. 
So glad that you have your 2 lovely dogs for emotional support. Take care & let us know when you're a bestselling author......
So glad that you have your 2 lovely dogs for emotional support. Take care & let us know when you're a bestselling author......
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Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 1,602
Inspirational stuff. How are the book sales going? It's amazing how your Dad and Step Mom keep going day in and day out. I found that after a certain period drinking, the discomfort of the withdrawals would have made waiting til 3PM a very unsatisfactory scenario. But some people's brain chemistry are obviously "hardier" or something. But the anger that you speak of: that's the way I go after a certain amount of alcohol - anger and total lack of impulse control. Even if you were to commit to a life of drinking and there were no health consequences at all, this side effect in and of itself would make me want to quit. It's an absolutely horrible state to be in. I appreciate it is nigh on impossible for you to be sympathetic at this stage, but their lives sound like a living hell.
It's good to be out of the chaos. It can be frustrating at times and feel a little "empty" - but that side of life was there for me well before drinking became an escape and I guess it's a side of life we all have to work on to fill that emptiness. Not just addicts.
It's good to be out of the chaos. It can be frustrating at times and feel a little "empty" - but that side of life was there for me well before drinking became an escape and I guess it's a side of life we all have to work on to fill that emptiness. Not just addicts.
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Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
CONGRATULATIONS!
I am so proud of you. The focus you have is really commendable. I am sorry to hear of your parents circumstances as well. It is hard.
Your positive attitude is the winning ticket. Keep on keeping on!
I am so proud of you. The focus you have is really commendable. I am sorry to hear of your parents circumstances as well. It is hard.
Your positive attitude is the winning ticket. Keep on keeping on!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 307
Originally Posted by Mizz 
CONGRATULATIONS!
I am so proud of you. The focus you have is really commendable. I am sorry to hear of your parents circumstances as well. It is hard.
Your positive attitude is the winning ticket. Keep on keeping on!
I am so proud of you. The focus you have is really commendable. I am sorry to hear of your parents circumstances as well. It is hard.
Your positive attitude is the winning ticket. Keep on keeping on!
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