StuckOnRepeat

Just got off work. Been fine all day, maybe thought of drinking like 3 or 4 times, but easily brushed it off...Ive been sitting in my car about 10 minutes not without leaving my spot. I've convinced myself a couple already that I was going to get some beer. Then changed my mind. Then back. Like with certainty "I'm going to drink, just like 2 or 3, maybe 5 or 6 but no more, you dont work the next 3 days it's totally fine. You'll be fine" then I talk myself out of...I haven't let my spot though, I'm scared to I guess. I'm at work, I'm not drinking, I don't want to, but when when I put the car in drive and pull away, I won't be there anymore...****. This is really ridiculous to have to sit here like this...I can do it...here I go.

ManInTheArena

Good luck StuckOnRepeat. I think we've all been there - that witching hour after work on a Friday and the AV kicks into hyper mode. It will tell you anything to get you to drink. The result will be the same though - bad news.

You can do it - I know you can.

Dee74

some really lifesaving tips here SOR.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-cravings.html (CarolD's tips for cravings)

You know what beats an intense urge to drink? an intense desire for change

you can do this
D

Rockbottom1964

This one is old but it worked/works for me, SOR. "Tomorrow, maybe - but not today".
And each day the same after that, and on and on... You'll be surprised how fast the days start piling up after a while. I'm not saying it will work for you, but it did for me. The pure WILL to stop is still paramount; you have to honest-to-God-really-truly-without a doubt WANT to stop. Don't wait until things are so bad, you HAVE to; much easier when you WANT to.
Have a great sober weekend.

Dropsie

How are you?

Obladi

Oh, I remember the intensity of that ambivalence. Seems like a contradiction in terms - overwhelming ambivalence - but that's what it's like, isn't it?

I eventually learned that what works for me is "I Never drink Now." Not on constant repeat because for me, that would be trying to counter an obsessive thought with another obsessive thought. I just invoke the phrase when I need it. If I "hear" that voice starting to convince me to drink, a firm but calm "but I never drink now" response is enough to push beyond that impulse and then endure what's beyond that. Because, for me, it's not so much that I must drink - it's that I am feeling something else that seems unbearable. Not that I know what I'm feeling at that time - I usually don't. But "I Never drink Now" sort of puts a period at the end of the drinking thought, then I can just say, "Whelp, it seems I feel like crap right now. Guess I'll just have to feel like crap until I don't."

Yeah, what Dropsie says - how are you doing?

O

Dropsie

I do the same thing, I may want to go buy booze but I don't drink, so might as well skip it.

Libby06

I hope you pulled through without giving in SOR. I know that feeling well. It won't always be this hard, I promise.

StuckOnRepeat

I didn't drink. I made it home. I put on a sober podcast and just drove, when I was getting to the main gas station I normally pulled over at I called my 92 year old grandmother to check in with her. I felt very good and happy when I got home...but after getting everyone to bed, I was wide awake, could not fall asleep for anything. When I finally didn't it was restless, I feel exhausted.

I'm going to try to not leave the house at all today if I can help it.

Thanks for the advice, I will try to put some of it into action.

Libby06

Way to build those sober muscles SOR!