Still tired.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 111
Still tired.
July of this year will be four years. For the most part, things are objectively good but very stressful right now. Things at work are going well (I think), I am making more money than I ever have and doing a good job according to my foreman and bosses. The house needs a ton of work and has been in a state of remodel since we bought it. I have a gym membership that I'm trying to use (2 days a week at best), but work is hard on my body and wears me out. I guess I haven't fully committed yet? I am looking forward to hunting season in the fall, but can't share that with my girlfriend (vegetarian). Even though we have some common interests, our personalities are different enough that we don't really 'share' experiences together. We dated for four years while I was still drinking, together for almost 8 years.
I feel a lot of regret still for the last 4 years of my drinking in particular. I had to move away from a very special place. In a way, I would give a lot to go back if I could? I am not finding purpose in what I am doing right now. Not in my relationship, the house, the job, being sober. It feels like my drive is gone and I haven't done anything useful with my sobriety besides not drink. My girlfriend said that one of the best things I've done is get sober, but I don't know if I feel that way. It was more a fix to a problem, not an accomplishment if that makes sense? There are some things I'd like to focus more on but plumbing (new construction) is a monster grind and I feel a lot of pressure to complete these house projects. Balancing school work, remodeling the house, work-work, and trying to get in shape for hunting season is seeming to be too much. It was suggested to me that I maybe need to temper my expectations about what I can get done. Maybe I need to? It is disappointing that I have to.
Be well.
I feel a lot of regret still for the last 4 years of my drinking in particular. I had to move away from a very special place. In a way, I would give a lot to go back if I could? I am not finding purpose in what I am doing right now. Not in my relationship, the house, the job, being sober. It feels like my drive is gone and I haven't done anything useful with my sobriety besides not drink. My girlfriend said that one of the best things I've done is get sober, but I don't know if I feel that way. It was more a fix to a problem, not an accomplishment if that makes sense? There are some things I'd like to focus more on but plumbing (new construction) is a monster grind and I feel a lot of pressure to complete these house projects. Balancing school work, remodeling the house, work-work, and trying to get in shape for hunting season is seeming to be too much. It was suggested to me that I maybe need to temper my expectations about what I can get done. Maybe I need to? It is disappointing that I have to.
Be well.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: NW USA
Posts: 41
Not sure what your age is, but I noticed a huge energy loss once I hit my thirties. It sucks but I've learned to live with it. I don't work on projects that require too much energy. I used to save money by working on my cars, still do, but anything major I just pay to have done because I can afford it and because I just don't have the energy to do it... We all have regrets, but it doesn't do much good looking back on them. Working in construction is very tough work, I'm surprised you have any energy at all to go exercise. It kinda sounds like you aren't content with how things are in your life and want a change. That is normal and if you have the means to do it and can find something to do that's more fulfilling, then you might consider it. However, you are gonna have to give up something the process, nobody can do everything. Congrats on 4 years btw, its a big accomplishment.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
It sounds to me like you are actually accomplishing a lot, and 4 years sober is fantastic.
One thing that helps me with motivation is using gratitude. For example, what if you re-wrote the post you just wrote and only included the positives? You have a lot of them - however each includes a "but" statement. For example, things are "good...but stressful". I would imagine that even though the house needs a lot of work, there is a lot of work that has already been done that looks nice, right? Your job seems to be going well all across the board too, compensation included. And heck - being 4 years sober is an accomplishment that a lot of people cannot even fathom right now..you should be very proud of that.
Maybe organizing your work a little more would also help? Break down the house project into stages, and celebrate each one as you finish it. Set up a time to exercise for hunting and track your progress. Set time up to do something fun with a few of the extra bucks you are making - go on a picnic with your GF or find a new hunting spot, etc.
One thing that helps me with motivation is using gratitude. For example, what if you re-wrote the post you just wrote and only included the positives? You have a lot of them - however each includes a "but" statement. For example, things are "good...but stressful". I would imagine that even though the house needs a lot of work, there is a lot of work that has already been done that looks nice, right? Your job seems to be going well all across the board too, compensation included. And heck - being 4 years sober is an accomplishment that a lot of people cannot even fathom right now..you should be very proud of that.
Maybe organizing your work a little more would also help? Break down the house project into stages, and celebrate each one as you finish it. Set up a time to exercise for hunting and track your progress. Set time up to do something fun with a few of the extra bucks you are making - go on a picnic with your GF or find a new hunting spot, etc.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
Sounds overwhelming to me. Take a break, man, Stop and smell the roses. Appreciate life a little bit.
It's such a rat race here in the States. I have done it too but it finally burned me out. Can you pay someone to help you? I know it probably goes against your thinking, but why not? Spend time with your girl, life will get better.
Congrats on 4 years, that really is amazing.
It's such a rat race here in the States. I have done it too but it finally burned me out. Can you pay someone to help you? I know it probably goes against your thinking, but why not? Spend time with your girl, life will get better.
Congrats on 4 years, that really is amazing.
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