fishkiller

If you feel you need the help, start planning how you can achieve getting the help and still keep everything together.
Make some calls to some rehabs, ask friends and family for help if you can. Anything but keeping on drinking. Maybe an outpatient program?

Dropsie

SOR,

That sounds really tough. I never did anything except this place. No rehab, no AA, just a decision, a lot of reading, and this place. It was enough.

But first I decided.

You can too, you really can. Take a decision, give yourself no other option.

If I can, you can. I believe you can do this, but you need to believe it.

X

StuckOnRepeat

Thanks all...Dropsie...I wish I believed...I want to. I swear I do. But...I don't believe...I don't feel it's in my future...c'est la vie.

StuckOnRepeat

Pretty sure I'm close to losing the best job I've ever had...typical, right...l..o..l...right...😶

StuckOnRepeat

Rockbottom1964

Hi, SOR. Ditto what Dropsie says. You have to make the decision yourself - nobody can do it for you. Sure, rehab, etc. can help, but only if YOU really want to stop. I'm reading a lot of "defeatism" in your post? And that you're not truly trying to stop YET. I also see that you still have a lot going for you - wife, kids, a home, etc. Don't wait too long before you do something drastic about the drinking, friend, or someday soon you may find yourself in a place - like many of us here - where you have lost them (family, friends, self-respect, etc.) as well.
Make that decision only you can: stop drinking. And I'm sorry for saying this, but try to stop counting your sorrows, and start counting your blessings. Change your attitude to gratitude.
Good luck to you.

StuckOnRepeat

I will try. Really beginning to believe I won't stop till i lose everything. Maybe thats what I'm looking for... Thanks for the response though. I appreciate every one...

StuckOnRepeat

....and I feel defeated man...over and over...again and again...fudge tha though...I can manage. Been doing it for years....just in a rut...self pit and waaah is me...I can bet this too...notbsure why I think I can't...probably best I stop posting... the best to you and yours. 🖤

ZIP

How about an out-patient program? Meet a couple of times a week in a group setting...maybe add a AA meeting or two. It's worth checking into, Stuck'. You'll meet hardworking folks, like yourself, and maybe make a few friends. It's often therapeutic to talk with others who are similarly situated. Just an idea...

msl999

Hi StuckOnRepeat, that’s an interesting username. Sounds like you are struggling with that inner voice we call the AV (addictive voice). If you would like to read more about it here is a thread talking about the technique that got me 3.5 years happy and alcohol-free: https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ined-long.html (AVRT Explained (long))

I know it seems bleak right now. I too have felt that hopelessness, but let me assure you that you have everything inside you to quit for good and live a happy alcohol-free life. Good luck & stick around.

Rockbottom1964

One thing you absolutely should NOT do, SOR, is to stop posting here. SR is a place filled with friends and people who have been exactly where you are, and who can give you better advice than someone who has been there and done it? Or still is, and can share it? Stay here, and always remember that you're not alone in this.
Again - Good luck to you, friend.

fishkiller

Definitely don't stop posting. It helps to get it out. We do not mind.

We are listening and are here when you are ready to drop the bottle.

When you do that it will get Much Better.

The sooner you do it the sooner it will get better.

Don't let the addiction tell you any differently.

RecklessEric

Maybe go talk to your doctor?
The desperation in your posting is something I can totally relate to.
I was an everyday drinker and could not imagine life without it.
Cognitive behavioural therapy really helped me with my thinking.
I haven't managed to avoid relapses but I know I'm not doomed to drink every day and I really have found happiness away from booze.
The addict in me sometimes fools me into thinking I want a drink though.

Hevyn

I agree that you shouldn't stop posting.
You're miserable - surely a sober life will have to be better than this.
It isn't you against the world. We believe in you.

Mizz

Its easy to feel defeated, hopeless and stuck in despair. Those feelings are real easy to wade into and it is our choice to feel that way. The opposite of the above feelings is successful, hopeful and optimistic.

I felt defeated when I was drinking. I felt stuck. I felt a lot of negative emotions. Today I am successful in sobriety and I feel hopeful. I feel optimistic. I feel a lot of positivity. Those positive feelings have to be worked on in order for them to BE in our lives.

You do have the power to change your situation and to feel better about your life. Removing the alcohol will allow you to really get clear with yourself and allow you to create the life that you want to live. The change starts when you are ready to make the change.

StuckOnRepeat

I am so tired of this...the feelings of absolute defeat are numbing...I don't know what to do...

Mizz

I am not sure what that means when you say you don't know what to do? Is it that you are unsure if you want to be sober?

StuckOnRepeat

Oh I want to be sober. I so freaking do...I just keep failing over and over my willpower just washes away at the blink of an eye. I just keep thinking like at what point do I just give up and accept that fact that I'm a drunk and destined to lose everything...I know thats what's going to happen. I know it with every cell in my body, and yet I don't stop. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me...my brain is just broken I guess.

Mizz

Before I got sober this time (there has been many times of sobriety for me) I was in your shoes. I wanted to be sober and I really felt like I was unable to do it. I kept resorting to alcohol even though I felt terrible and my entire being was screaming for me to quit.

I did get sober though. I just kept wanting to be sober. I know you can do this. Every single one of us has been where you are.
Dont stop believing in yourself. You can make this happen. Today is a new day. Today can be the day for a change. I believe in you.

fishkiller

It's called Addiction. Your brain is not broken but it Is being manipulated by alcohol.

I too felt the way you do know. For a decade or 2 actually. Hopefully this time for me it will stick. I am optimistic.

As for you, never give up trying. You are worth the effort and effort it will take.
You say your willpower gives out and you drink? Stop relying on willpower alone to keep you sober.
Post here before you drink. Hit a meeting before you drink. Anything to get you through the hard times.

It does get easier but you have to start first.