100

I recognize I need to change to stay sober. I live in my parents house, am 40 years old . I don't drive because (scared to) have no friends no life. Pretty much only feel good when drunk or high which I recognize is partly an allusion. Basically I have no life and am ashamed of my self. Suffer from sever anxiety and depression which hasn't responded to treatment . . I completely cut from society don't live near public transportation. So I'm alone all the time.

I need to change but don't know how.
If I don't change I will drink again. It's my only solution.
I need a new solution.
David



Anyway I feeling

Dee74

Maybe you can flip that around - you need to stay sober to change?

Thinking that I had to sort myself out totally before I could stop drinking...kept me drinking.

In my experience, stopping drinking was not actually too hard - its the staying stopped that really hurts.

A lot of the things I wanted to sort out could not be done until I stopped drinking?

D

Surlyredhead

Hello David,
I used to think I only felt good drunk, then as I got sober, I realized that I didn't feel AT ALL when I was drunk. Problem was, that is exactly what I was going for because I was so ashamed of what I let my life become. Only with sobriety was I able to deal with what I had gotten myself into(there was A LOT) and begin to see the light. I know it is really hard to see right now, but there really is no shame in being a recovering alcoholic or addict. We in recovery are success stories!

Change comes slowly, one day at a time, sometimes one hour or minute at a time. Most importantly, do not drink or use. Baby steps, things will slowly come into focus, some might be really hard, but running back into addiction will compound the issues ten fold. Deal with one thing at a time. There are WAY more of us out here than anyone realizes. Reach out here, there is always someone on line, you are not alone.

Hugs...Cathy

biminiblue

The only way out of my anxiety and lonely depression was sobriety.

Good thing it works.

There are solutions to all your issues, but like Dee says it starts with not drinking or doing drugs. That's the only way out. Nothing else can get sorted without a clear head.

ZIP

Hey, one of the things you might consider is an online degree program.
Years ago, I earned an AAS degree and then was invited into the US Army, ... life and kids happened, so I never did achieve my goal of a Baccalaureate degree.
At nearly 45, I finally enrolled in an accredited online program and earned my BA. Check it out! You communicate with your fellow scholars online and it actually is fun after you hunt and peck through enrollment and a class or two...

LadyBug66

Have you thought about Volunteering somewhere? The Hospital, Big Brother/Big Sisters, Food Bank, Senior Citizen Center is a few suggestions. I am happier and feel so much better about myself when I am helping someone else.

Introvrtd1

Oh Man...I so feel for you....The feelin of being stuck!! Drinking was my ‘Escape’....I know how bad you feel....Not sure I have the words that can help you break free...

I do wish you the best in your sobriety...

RecklessDrunk

Thats a chapter in the big book of alcoholics anonymous, "There is a Solution ".

If you were to try out an AA meeting it might be a good place to get use to being around people. I think you may be surprised how much we have in common. We are all kinds of people. There are people that drank daily, functioning, homeless, millionaires, everything in between. I am surprised if people don't have anxiety and depression. You never have to be alone again.

There are people that have been where you are and know the way out.

SnazzyDresser

It's kinda a 2-horned dilemma imo. You do have to change to get sober, and you do have to be sober to really change. I'd like to offer some general encouragement to not give up on yourself even when things seem so bleak. First and foremost of course is to stay sober every day, nothing good happens without that. As you start awakening to what's real, I'd guess you'll get a few small ideas about how to tinker with things for the better. Take action then even if it seems small or trivial, with a curious spirit and as much optimism as you can muster up. Keep track of what happens, what works, what doesn't. This new sober you you'll be creating isn't the old you; give him a fair shot and all the time, energy, and good faith you've got. Things will go wrong, they always do, that's life! But you're not naturally cursed to always be miserable, no one is. You have a divine spark of life within you that, with sobriety and carefully nurturing, could end up up working wonders and moving mountains. That'll only come with time and effort and patient attention though. All the best to you, 100.

Vik88

This might seem a weird suggestions but if you play games or do something else you enjoy. find a forum that shares the same interests that you do, you might find alot of new online friends? talking with a headset and things like that. It might lessen your anxiety a bit because remember this, what people think about you isn't really important. You're talking here to a guy who lived about 27 years home or so because of my problem. couldn't finish a course or so because booze got in the way. Just focus on this, you're here. you want help and booze/drugs whatever isn't gonna make you really happy. I'm ashamed sometimes myself because of having to live of my parents but you know what, they want me to get better and i bet your parents do too. There's nothing for you to be ashamed of since you've gotten here and see that a change is needed, that is in itself something to be proud of.