Notch8

In other words, what was your rock bottom? Was there one? Did you have a great "revelation?" I think its good for us, as well as others, to tell our stories from time to time. Not to brag or boast, but I think it helps.

Notch8

I think for me, it was kinda in stages. About in 2016 I lost my neighbor to a heroin OD. That was certainly enough to rattle anyone. One time I thought I was for sure gonna die if I fell asleep- I was in that much pain- I thought my organs were melting! One time I was no longer able to perform in bed... that was scary. I think what did it in, though, was I had ten days off work... most likely the most I ever took at one time and I basically drank it away. Had nothing to show for myself after that long vacation but a pile of empty vodka bottles.

snitch

I had many bottoms but my personal rock bottom sounded similar to yours. A 10 day binge drinking from the moment I woke up till I passed out. Only to come at 2/3 am full of terror and despair , popping xanax to keep me knocked out till morning then repeating the cycle. I was drinking to oblivion. That is what I wanted.Oblivion.

On the 11th day I sat in my flat. I had run out of booze run out of pills. And had no desire to go and get anymore. Instead I chain smoked my way through the day and only the day after I realised how long I had been drinking for by piecing the days together on my calendar. I had days I couldnt account for! Days spent in complete blackout. In that time I had called in sick for work, tried to smash someone's window, had 3 falls , one quite serious which I got up from and went home only to wash a xanax down with a large glass of wine(!) I had a police visit for trying to smash the window , I had left my little girl with her dad and I hadnt seen or spoke to her for all that time. I was absolutely f#@ked. I was black and blue all over!!! But I was alive. I suffered 2 nights of absolutely hideous withdrawals where I was hearing things and hallucinating and I really thought I was going to die and I knew that if I survived this then I had to get help if I wanted to live and to live sober. Which I did.

For me personally, I had to be pretty badly mangled to accept I was alcoholic and to really be ready to throw the towel in such was the grip alcohol had on me and I was absolutely desperate. That was my rock bottom 2 years and 9 months ago and I havent had to pick up a drink since. However I am under no illusion that I cannot go even lower if I am to ever pick up a drink again but I work my recovery daily to ensure that doesnt happen.

I'm a grateful alcoholic today 🙏♥️

ScottFromWI

I'm not generally a fan of comparing horror stories and frankly I'm also not a fan of the term "rock bottom" as there really only is one true bottom ( death ). AKA, as bad as it might seem it can always get worse - until the aforementioned of course.

As far as where I was at when I quit, I still had a job and a family, but both were on pretty thin ice. My physical and mental health was probably the area of my life that was the worst off. I had horrible anxiety/panic on the mental health side of the fence . My gastrointestinal system was about ready to call it quits, and I was having pretty scary paleness to my skin at times and I was starting to get ugly yellow bruising very easily. My liver enzymes were pretty far out of whack which was probably part of the reason.

My drinking patterns were such that I was purely consuming alcohol to keep my heart rate down and maintain a BAC that didn't send me into withdrawals. There was no enjoyment in it at all, and my tolerance had decreased too - so I it was very fine line between maintaining that balance and being totally out of whack. I can also remember that my GI health was so bad that when I'd attempt to take down the first beer of the day, i'd sometimes vomit it right back up. I can vividly remember shaking/cowering behind the garbage can outside my house trying to get that first dose of alcohol into my body without my family hearing me wretching. Absolutely stuff of nightmares I'll never forget.

msl999

My decision to make my Big Plan came after a routine Monday hangover after my typical weekend binge. No “rock bottom” to shame me into quitting. I did it for myself.

...and believe me I had some possible “bottoms” that didn’t get me to quit. Like the time I woke up in my neighbors flower bed at 1am, after a six-pack, a pint of vodka, and an Ambien. I kept drinking for four more years.

No, sometimes a “rock-bottom” doesn’t do it. Sometimes we just have to decide, like adults, that this insanity must stop. And that’s what I did.

Notch8

Scott- I too don't want this to become a contest of who was worse off. But it does ourselves some good remind us of how it could have ended if we didn't stop! Just MHO.

Purplrks3647

Too many factors to count, but one that stuck with me is when a friend at the bar said "Don't get sloppy" and I realized I was becoming a sloppy drunk....

Bunker

I went to a “writers” weekend at an upmarket country retreat with some 20 posh participants who fortunately But for two others I did not know. The entire weekend was a blackout. I returned home black and blue and full of shame. I ruined the weekend not only for myself but for all the rest too. I am still ashamed.

SnazzyDresser

Thread title reminds me of that Bob Dylan song, one of the best of his later years:

Every nerve in my body is so vacant and numb
I can't even remember what it was I came here to get away from
Don't even hear a murmur of a prayer
It's not dark yet, but it's getting there

Briansy

In some ways, I'm jealous of those people who get into such a bad state that at a certain point it's like flicking a switch. For me, my worst moments were absolutely in 2018 and since then it's been a slow but steady adjustment to, and coming to terms with, the idea I can't drink anymore. It still hasn't fully stuck but drinking is certainly feeling more and more pointless - probably as those euphoria highs are hugely diminished - my brain trying to protect me. And the sobriety stretches are longer. I just need to not give into the quick fix when bored and restless.

least

I don't consider my 'awakening' as my rock bottom. I just woke up that morning after drinking for two days and knew I couldn't go on like that. I just knew I was done. That was over 11 yrs ago and haven't had a drink since.

Outonthetiles

Something in me just clicked. It was a standard Tuesday, nothing particularly good or bad happened. I didn't have one last beer or take any selfies with my last bottle. I can't remember whether my last drink was hard alcohol or beer. All I know is that I'm deeply grateful and humbled that I was able to stop.

Delilah1

I also did not have a rock bottom moment. It was NYE 2015, and I was thinking about the upcoming year and how I didn’t want to drink anymore, I wanted to be done with alcohol. I wanted to focus on making healthy choices for me both physically and mentally. I’d had periods of sobriety before, but something about this was different. I had my last drink a little before midnight NYE 2015, so just celebrated five years sobriety on January 1st.

NONIA

No rock bottom for me I just quit after 30 days in rehab .
They really doped me up in last rehab and felt better .

otter

My body was completely out of whack. Pretty much everything was but what scared the poop out of me was when I was unable to keep my balance and my eyesight was all of a sudden terrible. It took about a week to recover then I tried drinking again and same thing happened. Nor myself or the doctor could figure out what was wrong besides both my blood pressure and enzymes being elevated.

I fell off the wagon over the summer down at my sister's beach house and the same thing happened to a lesser extent after a couple days of drinking. That's scary as poop and it scares the hell out of me.

It's not worth it and I'm a much better person without alcohol physically, mentally, and in life overall.

shortstop81

I never really hit a “bottom” per se. I had a good job, custody of my son, was starting a new relationship. For me, I came to a realization that the life I truly wanted would be out of reach with alcohol. And that I still had SO much to lose and that eventually my luck would run out.

Almost as though after nearly a decade of trying to quit, I finally found myself wanting sobriety more than the booze. It was a fundamental change within myself.

LateBloominCait

TBH, I hit my rock bottom long before I actually stopped. I consider the last two years of my drinking to be similar to a suicide attempt since I had already fully accepted that I was an alcoholic and that alcohol was killing me. I'm not sure how much lower you can go than actively doing something you know is shutting your body down. The bottom is not why I got sober. My survival instinct is what kicked in at the end. Once I stopped being ambivalent about life, I realized I had to stop drinking if I wanted to live.

thisisme

He died after only 4 days. A shoebox sized coffin. The spiral for answers lead me to 5+ bottles a day for years. Dark years. I decided that was it and wanted no more of this life. "Hang on Andrew, the others will be here soon" and they came and took my hand those 14 years ago....

waynetheking

I got so physically and mentally sick that suicide was a viable option. I knew at that point that alcohol was bigger than me. Only my higher power kept me from pulling the trigger.