Notch8

We have threads on the issue, and I've heard both sides. I'm kinda neutral... if counting your days sober works for you, great. If its no big deal and you just worry about your new life, also great.

Vote in the poll and discuss as warranted.

Erica375

Never benefited ME, but I know it helps other people to do so. It was one of the things I disliked about AA meetings, how people with long-term sobriety were seen as heroes and fountains of wisdom, but some of them were just angry, arrogant jerks. Well, maybe that was my problem, my resentment, but I certainly did not want to emulate them.

I only know the date of my last drink because I had a doctor's appointment that day and it's written on my calendar. What's more important to me is STAY-- Sober Today And Yesterday.

I have no problem with others wanting to count their sober time. And I have no problem congratulating others who do keep track. Just don't brag about it at a meeting after you got into a fist fight in the parking lot with another guy at yesterday's meeting.

Notch8

I voted neutral because I don't want to put down something that helps someone else.

My take on it: the drunk me was the old me. It was another period in my life, at another time in my life, which is now in the past. What got me in trouble before (again, this is my experience!) was I managed three months and decided to give drinking a try. Epic fail. Another time was ten weeks, thought I deserved to "try it" again. Guess what? Failed.

I now just don't care. Yes, with some thought I can nail down my first day sober but its not something I dwell on. Its like people who are "born again": they remember the date but they're in all likelihood not counting days since then. Its behind them.

Again, whatever works for you.

Zebra1275

The first time I got sober I counted days and got over 2,000.

Then I relapsed, and had to start over at 1. At that point counting days was damn depressing and I had plenty of other issues to deal with, so I didn't bother counting.

I now no longer count days, but I will be coming up on 11 years sober in a few months. Some quick math tells me I will then be over 4,000 days. That's nice, but I really only focus on the day I'm currently living, which is today. Going to bed sober tonight is a victory to be repeated again tomorrow.

Aellyce

I voted "neutral" because I see it's being beneficial, uninteresting, and sometimes even counterproductive to people who have stayed sober for long periods. I experienced both myself. When I first decided to try to stop drinking (not doing much else than that plus SR) almost 7 years ago, I liked it at first but relapsed pretty quickly (less than 2 weeks I think), and then I was more just frustrated with counting as it gave me a sense of incompetence (which was actually accurate as I did almost nothing for my recovery).

Fast forward to now: five weeks ago I decided to make a real sharp turn and embark on recovery with a much stronger determination, changing and doing a lot of things for it every day. With a very different mindset and actions, I had no relapse so far and find counting day empowering again, although I don't track exactly how many on a daily basis unless I find it especially interesting for some reason or want to report it in a meeting or something similar. I think counting the days might lose its appeal again if I relapsed, but that's not even a possibility I allow myself to entertain seriously now, so quantifying the progress has been rewarding. I think at the very beginning it can be counting days, then more just weeks, months, years. I find the idea of this much more personally meaningful than celebrating my birthdays, which I never care about because it's just a passive date to which I contributed nothing other than existing.

Mizz

Interesting you should bring up this topic. I was just thinking about this yesterday.

I would like to get to place where counting days does not exist for me. Given that sobriety is not linear, when a person relapses and they are counting days it sets the stage for "shame" to set in. It sets the stage for all of the prior sober work to be disregarded. Even if we don't speak it aloud, in our mind there is the concept that one has failed.

I do think that changing behavior takes time, takes rewiring and takes learning a new set of healthier "coping skills.'
There is something to the counting that has a "weighty" feel and I am really thinking this one through just for my own self and my recovery.

Thank you for starting this thread.

Voted; Neutral

Dropsie

I never counted and now truly don't know when I stopped. Which is sort of frustrating in its own way. I do know the year....

SnazzyDresser

Is this the new counting thread? Cool, I'm at 1426 days now! Just a month or so shy of 4 years.

Notch8

So I guess we know how you voted!

tornrealization

There’s some changes and healing milestones I’ve read about that I want to reach, so it’s not counting days at this point but I want to know when I hit milestones. I think I read plenty of people say by year three you really start to feel free. I’ve read I think some places clinically don’t think you’re recovered until five years by their standards. The body cells all supposedly refresh every 7 years, so at that point, no cells that have experienced a drunk. Days in the beginning matter most. I did think wow, I made it nine months! That’s a pregnancy! (I haven’t had kids and wondered if I could make it that long theoretically).

The 1.5 year cravings seem normal, lotsa time based things. I voted whatever works for you. Getting distracted by days goals or letting missed goals keep you drinking is not good either. So if ignoring day counts helps, let it help. If it brings you down or full of anxiety...skip it.

advbike

It helps me in the beginning. I count each day the first week, then after about 10 days I lose track. First couple months I remember the anniversary, after that it's pretty much all in the rearview mirror except for 90 days, 6 months, 1 year. I guess I spent too much time in AA meeting over the years.

Interestingly (or not, haha) I have a weird OCD thing about picking a good day to quit, with an interesting number combination or math significance in the numbers. I know, really weird. But it helps me to stay strong and not cave if I like the date.

For those still thinking about it, January 1st is *always* a good day!

Zencat

I'm no clock watcher that I know. So no I don't count the days.
Whatever floats your boat on this subject is cool with me.

Notch8

I was kinda that way. I had set a date and started a taper maybe a week before. Got where I had two more days to go and realized I was just done with it all and stopped. That was it. I don't have the date written down or even know how long its been. Granted, I could figure it out if I had to.

advbike

Good job on that!

I went to AA for awhile and got into the mentality of counting days. I kind of agree that it shouldn't be important, and may even be detrimental upon a relapse, but it does kind of help at the beginning in order to "gain some momentum". In contrast, I can't even remember the YEAR that I last smoked weed. I think it was 2002 or 2003, lol.

Notch8

If someone wants to remember a date, I don't see anything wrong with that. I used to count days and every week figure out how much money I saved thus far from not drinking. That was a real eye opener, for sure. But I tried not to dwell on numbers, days, dollars, or otherwise.

least

I voted 'neutral' cause it doesn't matter to me who does what. I counted my days, then I started counting months, now I count in years and months. I like it as a reminder of how far I've come.

Notch8

Lately, whenever I get any where near a craving, I stop myself. No matter what rational the voices are using on me, whatever justification rolls through my head, I simply tell my myself "I'm not that person anymore."

Rockbottom1964

I still count them. Not each and every day, like in the first few months, but enough to know that I'm on a year and about three weeks, getting closer to that 400-day mark. To me, I think, it's a thing of the more I pile up, the harder it will be to throw away.
Counting helped me stop; it made me set goals and feel good when I reached milestones. I suppose I'll eventually stop counting, but not yet. Maybe when I've piled up 500 or so.
And I'll never forget when I stopped, either. It was on my ex-wife's birthday - as a prezzy to myself and my liver.

Tynesider22

I voted neutral because I didn't make an active choice to start counting, I just did.
That said, I do feel a sense of achievement when I hit a milestone number.

48heath

I post my days on the counting day’s thread,I post about once a fortnight and always have to look up how many days I have.

I don’t remember how many off hand,but I know I am around 17years 7months sober.It is important to me as I could only do about 48hours when I got sober.