For those tortured by PAWS (Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms) and who fear they might go mad Part 2
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For those tortured by PAWS (Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms) and who fear they might go mad Part 2
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Join Date: Dec 2020
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Advice on month 3
PAWs sucks month one and a half we’re bad for me I made it to month two and finally felt normal like my old self again then just two days into month three that I’m going to die feeling came back. Headache, tiredness, brain not there , sore muscles it’s like I am back at the beginning does anyone have any advice for month 3 of PAWs ? Gatorade, some sort of special tea or vitamin? I have no desire to drink but could use something to calm the symptoms and I am sure others reading this might benefit as well
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It’s hard to give advice on specific months wildbill as everyone experiences PAWS differently. What I will say is that it looks very promising as you are already having good windows of relief very early on in your recovery. I think you will heal relatively faster than others. Just don’t think it will be ok to go back to drinking once you are out of the woods. That would be a very bad mistake 
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Hi Wildbill. Sorry you are having a rough day. I finally had a good weekend, and then made the mistake of having a full coffee this morning. Shaky and restless, headache and space feeling. I find cold water and gentle exercise help a bit. Sugar makes things worse.
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Hi Wildbill. Sorry you are having a rough day. I finally had a good weekend, and then made the mistake of having a full coffee this morning. Shaky and restless, headache and space feeling. I find cold water and gentle exercise help a bit. Sugar makes things worse.
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Join Date: Dec 2020
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Thanks for the advice
Thanks for the advice the walking around and light exercise it helped it’s good to hear the reply’s knowing I am not alone and also In searching the web I found someone recommended nighty night tea for sleep aid it definitely did wonders for sleep also I know it’s not the healthiest thing but drinking ginger ale and root beer a few times a day seemed to help the headaches and upset stomach I have never been a soda guy but I guess soda and tea are better then shots and beer
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Join Date: Nov 2020
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Hey Wildbill,
I found that the week that falls on the 90 days of recovery was the worst for me. I will say that there are tiny band-aids that helped me, one is being constantly distracted. Nothing too stressful but any kind of work or hobby that you have will help you get through symptoms at that time. Things like getting immersed into a TV show or into a video game also helps a little bit. But again, those are just small bandaids on a very big wound. Stress and caffeine are a big no-no. Stress at work had sent me to such bad spirals that took literal days to recover from so if you can, take some time off work or perhaps work from home where you have limited interaction with any kind of stress-related work issues.
BUT, this is all just a way to keep your mind on other things. Other than that the only thing to help your recovery is time, time, time.
I found that the week that falls on the 90 days of recovery was the worst for me. I will say that there are tiny band-aids that helped me, one is being constantly distracted. Nothing too stressful but any kind of work or hobby that you have will help you get through symptoms at that time. Things like getting immersed into a TV show or into a video game also helps a little bit. But again, those are just small bandaids on a very big wound. Stress and caffeine are a big no-no. Stress at work had sent me to such bad spirals that took literal days to recover from so if you can, take some time off work or perhaps work from home where you have limited interaction with any kind of stress-related work issues.
BUT, this is all just a way to keep your mind on other things. Other than that the only thing to help your recovery is time, time, time.
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Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 363
Originally Posted by Graceful123 
Hey Wildbill,
I found that the week that falls on the 90 days of recovery was the worst for me. I will say that there are tiny band-aids that helped me, one is being constantly distracted. Nothing too stressful but any kind of work or hobby that you have will help you get through symptoms at that time. Things like getting immersed into a TV show or into a video game also helps a little bit. But again, those are just small bandaids on a very big wound. Stress and caffeine are a big no-no. Stress at work had sent me to such bad spirals that took literal days to recover from so if you can, take some time off work or perhaps work from home where you have limited interaction with any kind of stress-related work issues.
BUT, this is all just a way to keep your mind on other things. Other than that the only thing to help your recovery is time, time, time.
I found that the week that falls on the 90 days of recovery was the worst for me. I will say that there are tiny band-aids that helped me, one is being constantly distracted. Nothing too stressful but any kind of work or hobby that you have will help you get through symptoms at that time. Things like getting immersed into a TV show or into a video game also helps a little bit. But again, those are just small bandaids on a very big wound. Stress and caffeine are a big no-no. Stress at work had sent me to such bad spirals that took literal days to recover from so if you can, take some time off work or perhaps work from home where you have limited interaction with any kind of stress-related work issues.
BUT, this is all just a way to keep your mind on other things. Other than that the only thing to help your recovery is time, time, time.
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Join Date: Dec 2020
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 326
5.5 months
Sooooo grateful for this thread - has saved my life over the past four months.
I quit drinking cold turkey on July 7 2020 and been totally abstinent ever since. I was drinking 3-4 bottles of wine a day once the lockdown started, and I quit because my liver enzymes tested very high and I started having major panic episodes when I wasn't drinking.
After initial detox, I had no idea that PAWS existed. I started getting major symptoms about a month to a month and a half after initial detox and I for sure felt as though I was having a mental breakdown. SEVERE panic at all times, insomnia, feeling completely weird - depersonalization, depression, confusion. Nausea every morning and often gagging a few times. Total loss of appetite. Could not eat a bite of food - had to force the food down and barely made 1200 calories a day. Tingling in my left leg. This went on for two months, with very slow recovery. In November I went to see a psychiatrist and started taking a low dose of mrtazapine (Remeron) 7.5 mg. I should say that I have seen my GP several times, a naturopath, and my long-term therapist and have had lots and lots of bloodwork and testing done. I'm otherwise very healthy (liver enzymes came right back to healthy levels by the fall). I was VERY reluctant to take the mrtazapine but I have to say it definitely took the hardest claws out of my particular case of PAWS. Sleeping and eating improved right away, which has had a cascade of improvement effects with other symptoms. The anxiety is still definitely there, but in the past week or so I've started having windows of coming out of the depersonalization. I was able to sit through a haircut and getting my nails done without having a panic attack - definitely progress from September. My family all say I seem more like myself, which is also a good sign. I feel more like myself. Not cured, but markedly better than early September and October, which were like living in a waking nightmare. I don't know how many other people have had this symptom, but I also get a phantom smell of smelling cigarette smoke - it was pretty pronounced when PAWS first set it. That went away mostly for a few weeks but has come back now today but so far not as strong. The tingling in my leg is less as well - I'm assuming that this is from low b vitamins. I tried to supplement them but they triggered more anxiety, so I'm trying to eat well and boost my vitamins through nutrition. I'll get bloodwork again after the new year and see how that's coming along. I tested low on folic acid in September.
I will check in again as time goes on, but thank you everyone for sharing your stories. PAWS is ******* BRUTAL - and even worse is that I had no idea to expect this when I quit. I thought I would feel better and stop having panic attacks when I quit drinking! I have read that the anxiety eventually fades and people get back to normal life - I'm crossing my fingers on that one. I haven't been able to travel very far from home because I'm agoraphobic from feeling so ****** and worried about having a panic attack - which then triggers a panic attack. PAWS will make you feel like you're 100% losing your mind and that you will always feel that way. I can measure my improvement, so I can say to those just starting this process that it does get better! I'll check in again at 6 months to report if things have improved more.
Bottom line - don't pick up! I can't even fathom having to go through this **** a second time - I simply do not have the strength to do this again. Someone mentioned in the first part of this thread that someday they will drink socially again - everyone is different, but I can't imagine being willing to put yourself at risk of dealing with PAWS again. Hell to the no. No glass of wine is worth this agony.
I quit drinking cold turkey on July 7 2020 and been totally abstinent ever since. I was drinking 3-4 bottles of wine a day once the lockdown started, and I quit because my liver enzymes tested very high and I started having major panic episodes when I wasn't drinking.
After initial detox, I had no idea that PAWS existed. I started getting major symptoms about a month to a month and a half after initial detox and I for sure felt as though I was having a mental breakdown. SEVERE panic at all times, insomnia, feeling completely weird - depersonalization, depression, confusion. Nausea every morning and often gagging a few times. Total loss of appetite. Could not eat a bite of food - had to force the food down and barely made 1200 calories a day. Tingling in my left leg. This went on for two months, with very slow recovery. In November I went to see a psychiatrist and started taking a low dose of mrtazapine (Remeron) 7.5 mg. I should say that I have seen my GP several times, a naturopath, and my long-term therapist and have had lots and lots of bloodwork and testing done. I'm otherwise very healthy (liver enzymes came right back to healthy levels by the fall). I was VERY reluctant to take the mrtazapine but I have to say it definitely took the hardest claws out of my particular case of PAWS. Sleeping and eating improved right away, which has had a cascade of improvement effects with other symptoms. The anxiety is still definitely there, but in the past week or so I've started having windows of coming out of the depersonalization. I was able to sit through a haircut and getting my nails done without having a panic attack - definitely progress from September. My family all say I seem more like myself, which is also a good sign. I feel more like myself. Not cured, but markedly better than early September and October, which were like living in a waking nightmare. I don't know how many other people have had this symptom, but I also get a phantom smell of smelling cigarette smoke - it was pretty pronounced when PAWS first set it. That went away mostly for a few weeks but has come back now today but so far not as strong. The tingling in my leg is less as well - I'm assuming that this is from low b vitamins. I tried to supplement them but they triggered more anxiety, so I'm trying to eat well and boost my vitamins through nutrition. I'll get bloodwork again after the new year and see how that's coming along. I tested low on folic acid in September.
I will check in again as time goes on, but thank you everyone for sharing your stories. PAWS is ******* BRUTAL - and even worse is that I had no idea to expect this when I quit. I thought I would feel better and stop having panic attacks when I quit drinking! I have read that the anxiety eventually fades and people get back to normal life - I'm crossing my fingers on that one. I haven't been able to travel very far from home because I'm agoraphobic from feeling so ****** and worried about having a panic attack - which then triggers a panic attack. PAWS will make you feel like you're 100% losing your mind and that you will always feel that way. I can measure my improvement, so I can say to those just starting this process that it does get better! I'll check in again at 6 months to report if things have improved more.
Bottom line - don't pick up! I can't even fathom having to go through this **** a second time - I simply do not have the strength to do this again. Someone mentioned in the first part of this thread that someday they will drink socially again - everyone is different, but I can't imagine being willing to put yourself at risk of dealing with PAWS again. Hell to the no. No glass of wine is worth this agony.
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Join Date: Nov 2020
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Originally Posted by BettyP
I quit drinking cold turkey on July 7 2020
Yes, I can relate to every single word you said BettyP. The feeling that you're going insane is nightmarishly scary, to say the least. I had severe depersonalization/derealization as well which seems to have subsided over the last month. It looks like you and I are on a similar recovery timeline. I am glad that both you and I can tell others on this forum who are just starting their journey that things DO improve, albeit quite slowly.
I also keep track of all my symptoms and I can tell you that if I were to measure my symptoms at their peak and assign a value of 10/10 to those symptoms, now I am at around 3 - 3.5 /10. Anxiety has definitely improved and I haven't had a panic attack/depers/derea in quite some weeks now. Stay strong, don't pick up!
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Join Date: Mar 2014
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Originally Posted by BettyP
<snip>
Bottom line - don't pick up! I can't even fathom having to go through this **** a second time - I simply do not have the strength to do this again. Someone mentioned in the first part of this thread that someday they will drink socially again - everyone is different, but I can't imagine being willing to put yourself at risk of dealing with PAWS again. Hell to the no. No glass of wine is worth this agony.
Bottom line - don't pick up! I can't even fathom having to go through this **** a second time - I simply do not have the strength to do this again. Someone mentioned in the first part of this thread that someday they will drink socially again - everyone is different, but I can't imagine being willing to put yourself at risk of dealing with PAWS again. Hell to the no. No glass of wine is worth this agony.
Yeah, it was horrible for a long time for me too.
I will not go back there ever, never, not ever.
I'm glad you're getting stretches of time feeling better.
Time - continuous sober Time - is the key.
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Join Date: Dec 2020
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Yes calendar buddies! You're one of the reasons why I finally posted to this thread. Definitely a similar recovery timeline. I'm still having anxiety, but it's getting easier to get past - and it's not allllll day like it was in the beginning. I had issues with anxiety before I started drinking, but nothing like this beast.
Glad to be on this journey with you and others who understand! :-D
Glad to be on this journey with you and others who understand! :-D
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Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 363
Glad to know that it improves for many before 6 months. I have an appointment with a psychiatrist in January who is an expert in addiction. And the reminder about not picking up is very important. I had a small lapse, but now have more cravings on top of the PAWS, which is extra miserable.
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Join Date: Dec 2020
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EllyB -- Another tip - talk and vent about it as much as possible. This is what this thread is good for - and to a certain extent meetings, and definitely having a sponsor. There is a lot of courage, strength, and hope out there. I was really reluctant to believe that PAWS was what was happening to me, mostly because I didn't want to believe that I had *that* bad of an addiction to alcohol. In hindsight it is crazy that I believed that. As the fog clears you can see so much more clearly.
This point in my recovery - I will say that yes things improve. I am not better - I'm not my normal self, but my normal self is just starting to emerge. Some symptoms fade slowly, some just go away and don't come back (at least not yet). Being patient is not at all in my nature so it's fairly excruciating - but yes, you should have livable improvements by six months. It's really great that you're going to see a psychiatrist who specializes in addiction -- mine does as well, and completely understood that I didn't want to lean on anything addictive to get through this (aka benzos). He also is there to remind me that this is very very common with people in recovery. Every time I see him I have to have him remind me of that like ten times! But do that too - that's what you pay for! :-D
This point in my recovery - I will say that yes things improve. I am not better - I'm not my normal self, but my normal self is just starting to emerge. Some symptoms fade slowly, some just go away and don't come back (at least not yet). Being patient is not at all in my nature so it's fairly excruciating - but yes, you should have livable improvements by six months. It's really great that you're going to see a psychiatrist who specializes in addiction -- mine does as well, and completely understood that I didn't want to lean on anything addictive to get through this (aka benzos). He also is there to remind me that this is very very common with people in recovery. Every time I see him I have to have him remind me of that like ten times! But do that too - that's what you pay for! :-D
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Join Date: Dec 2020
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Thanks so much, Betty! Sounds like you and I have a lot in common. I ran out of wine one day in September , and the switch to whisky about killed me! I am already getting daily ups and downs, which is better than last week. I went through the not eating/sleeping thing early on, and the not sleeping well is still around, but at least I get 6 hours or so.
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Join Date: Nov 2020
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Originally Posted by EllyB
Thanks so much, Betty! Sounds like you and I have a lot in common. I ran out of wine one day in September , and the switch to whisky about killed me! I am already getting daily ups and downs, which is better than last week. I went through the not eating/sleeping thing early on, and the not sleeping well is still around, but at least I get 6 hours or so.
One other thing I forgot to mention in my posts above. I went through a phase of about 3 months where EVERYTHING scared me. For some reason I would look at a cup of coffee wrong (for example) and it would scare/stress me out. It's very weird. That has also dissipated completely now. Certain social situations and large crowds give me anxiety but nothing I can't handle at this point.
stay strong. Like I said, my symptoms have gone down by about 65-70% now by my own estimates. I think a lot of you need to hear that today.
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